Why is alcohol seen to be "cool"?

[Joseph41]

I don't drink - family history etc. Never had any interest; never been drunk.

The amount of times I've had to explain why I didn't want to drink in a given situation is freakin' ridiculous.

Cricket - toxic masculinity culture. Everybody drank after games etc. Felt isolated as a result.
High school - enough said. My friendship group didn't even drink that much but hey, still isolated.

Practically any social situation these days, I need to explain why I don't want to drink - "no thanks" never seems to be enough.

Why is it so?

[Natasha.97]

I don't drink - family history etc. Never had any interest; never been drunk.

The amount of times I've had to explain why I didn't want to drink in a given situation is freakin' ridiculous.

Cricket - toxic masculinity culture. Everybody drank after games etc. Felt isolated as a result.
High school - enough said. My friendship group didn't even drink that much but hey, still isolated.

Practically any social situation these days, I need to explain why I don't want to drink - "no thanks" never seems to be enough.

Why is it so?

The impression that most people get with the idea of drinking alcohol is that it helps with social anxiety (e.g. striking up a conversation with someone when they normally wouldn't have), and it could be seen as a way of bonding with other people (everyone is drinking → they have that in common)

[Joseph41]

The impression that most people get with the idea of drinking alcohol is that it helps with social anxiety (e.g. striking up a conversation with someone when they normally wouldn't have), and it could be seen as a way of bonding with other people (everyone is drinking → they have that in common)

Yup, totally get that. But like, surely the conversation should stop at "nah, I'm sweet ty".

[K888]

Yup, totally get that. But like, surely the conversation should stop at "nah, I'm sweet ty".

Because people suck.

Nah, depends on who you hang out with. The people who just genuinely don't understand why other people don't drink - they're the ones that keep on pestering you if you don't drink. Honestly, I also think it unfortunately forms the backbone of our social interaction these days, and people think that you need to drink to have fun, so therefore if you're not drinking you're stopping yourself from having fun. So like, people think that not drinking is a prohibiting factor in having fun.

Plus, I guess we have the tendency to think that if someone's not drinking, they have a specific reason behind it - they have to drive, maybe they've had alcohol problems in the past, maybe they're allergic, whatever. So it can be easy for us to think that everyone essentially has to (or we want everyone to) have a signed note from their mum and a medical certificate as to why they're not drinking, if that makes sense.

And people are just generally nosy. And they like pressuring people into doing stuff, because it makes them uneasy that people aren't following the pack lol.

Overall, I think it really depends on the people you hang out with, though The majority of people I hang out with are 100% fine with anyone not wanting to drink and won't push it, but then I also know people who think you have to drink alcohol to have fun so won't shut up about it if you're not drinking and don't have what they deem to be a "good" reason.

[Mr West]

Yeah its crazy the amount of pressure placed on us by others. Im only year 10 but even last year in year 9 heaps of mates would be getting plastered and i had no clue why. And its gotten even worse this year. I try pretty hard to stay away from alcohol and just enjoy a night sober 

Sorry to hear Joseph that so many people pressure you. Shouldnt be happening...

[achre]

Fair point. Pressuring anyone into doing anything is pretty cooked, but pressuring someone to do something that affects their ability to make decisions and react to their environment is another thing entirely.

I don't think I agree that drinking is seen as 'cool', I think that might be a perception you've developed as a non-participant in drinking. Drinking to fit in because it's seen as cool by your peer group seems more like an adolescent thing than anything else, when booze is new and exciting. For myself, I drink because I like how alcohol makes me feel, I like the taste of some kinds of alcohol, and I enjoy social situations more when I'm drinking alcohol. I think that would be true of just about every adult drinker.

I think the explanation for why people who drink might want to pressure/shame non-drinkers is the same thing that explains why meat eaters might want to pressure/shame vegans at social functions, or why smokers might want to pressure/shame non-smokers at when they step outside for a quick dart. The extent to which the behaviour is socially acceptable (with drinking on one end of the spectrum, and smoking on the other end) governs the extent to which they're willing to transform that preference to pressure or shame the non-participant into action. I don't know what explains the existence of the preference in the first place though. I guess if the person was armed with knowledge that you'd never in your life been inebriated, it might come from a well-intentioned place of "why not try it just once?"

[Joseph41]

^Great post.

[heids]

The impression that most people get with the idea of drinking alcohol is that it helps with social anxiety (e.g. striking up a conversation with someone when they normally wouldn't have)

I'd prefer to deal with life situations based on my own strength, rather than using a stimulant as a crutch, tyvm. am totally not on psychotropic drugs as a crutch to get through atm... totally not... lol I also depend on myself to have as much fun without alcohol as you can have with it.

I mean, I'm not against a little alcohol, just not keen to get drunk... all the more because it's such a norm, so I am obliged to avoid it

Though apparently it's a lot easier to not drink socially than it was 30 years ago.

[zofromuxo]

I think alcohol is seen as cool, much like how girls go through a "bad-boy" phase. If your girl and i'm wrong, please don't go ham on me for this. , that breaking rules in school is cool.

I think when your younger alcohol can be seen as a "cool" thing due to the media potraying it that way.

But I think as a non-drinker, I have sort of shirk back and let myself drink a bit. I don't do this to "fit" in, but because I trust the people I'm with to make sure I don't get drunk and plastered.

I think you Joseph, have been placed in situations where alcohol is the norm and not doing it is considered bizzare and strange and hence the pressure on you to do it. But also sometimes people feel insecure when you don't drink like I have gone the whole "your no fun" speech or "your a loser/cunt/fag/idiot/anti-social/etc" by people.
But the real reason I don't drink mostly is purely because I don't feel comfortable with the people I'm with, I know they will take advantage of me in my drunken state. So I think it maybe seen that you don't trust them as well.

But if anyway is feeling the need to change because of external pressure, don't stick to your belief and norm. You should any change if you want to and even then you don't need to go full on drinking, you can just drink a bit like me.

[Sconey]

I'm 15 years old and haven't drunk; but hear a lot about kids that drink at parties or rock up drunk, some even younger than me! I don't see it as cool, I see it as a bunch of kids trying too hard and possibly ruining their lives because of it.

[zofromuxo]

I'm 15 years old and haven't drunk; but hear a lot about kids that drink at parties or rock up drunk, some even younger than me! I don't see it as cool, I see it as a bunch of kids trying too hard and possibly ruining their lives because of it.

That is true, but it isn't always kids trying too hard. I know for some it is the norm in their respective families to drink at a young age and as result when their older have an extremely high tolerance to alcohol.

On the part of ruining their bodies, it is most likely true and sad to me personally. We have a bunch of kid's futures being robbed because of mass-media influence, peer-pressure, societal pressure, to wanting to fit-in and more. I just can't bring myself to see any other way, but then again that might have to do with the fact I see a lot of drunk people and the effects it had on them and others.

[S200]

That is true, but it isn't always kids trying too hard. I know for some it is the norm in their respective families to drink at a young age and as result when their older have an extremely high tolerance to alcohol.

On the part of ruining their bodies, it is most likely true and sad to me personally. We have a bunch of kid's futures being robbed because of mass-media influence, peer-pressure, societal pressure, to wanting to fit-in and more. I just can't bring myself to see any other way, but then again that might have to do with the fact I see a lot of drunk people and the effects it had on them and others.

I'll take that one Zofro...
I've been drinking fairly casually since I was 15.
Other kids in my class honestly started in Primary...

I don't see alcohol as 'cool', but I like drinking it, so I continue.
If anyone doesn't want an alcoholic drink when they come round, It's all cool with me...
Parties are supposed to be fun. If you can enjoy yourself and stay sober as well, so much better for you!!

[heids]

Parties are supposed to be fun.

wait what

this is a thing?!

why did no one explain that to me, and more to the point why does it never seem that way

lol

[keltingmeith]

Definitely depends on who you're hanging out with, but I am curious - is it specifically about drinking that the issue lies in, or is it not wanting to go out to a pub?

Because I can understand the whole going to drinks after cricket, because I see it all the time at conferences. After a full day/session/whatever of work, everyone wants to loosen up and unwind. So, we all go to the pub. Not everyone drinks, we don't make anyone feel bad if they're not (although we sometimes make a show if it's someone we know is usually up for it and isn't this time - potentially toxic culture there, but I also hope that if this was an issue, anyone we did it to would speak up about it, given that nobody has yet), but for those of us that do want to, the pub is basically the only option for us. Given the drinkers normally outweigh the non-drinkers, we end up there, so I can see why you might feel left out if that was the case, but I don't think you necessarily are being left out?

[ponphi]

As long as people accept that ethanol ('alcohol') is a mood-altering, performance-impairing, potentially addictive Recreational Drug, I see no problem.
Except, in Australian culture, most don't!
So often we see 'Drugs and Alcohol' talked about as if they are separate issues. They are not. Health professionals much prefer the term 'Alcohol and other drugs'. Ask an 'ambo'; they'll tell you that alcohol causes far more problems than any other drug, legal or illegal (although Ice is making inroads).
The confusion will be eliminated when getting drunk is accepted as Drug Abuse.
Don't hold your breath. The alcohol industry is fighting tooth and nail to prevent this happening.