VCE Stuff > AN’s Language Analysis Club

2017 AA Club Week 8

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scout:
To highlight the significance of Banksy’s work, the writer juxtaposes Banksy against the idle and negligent politicians who they claim are doing little to address pressing issues in current British society. One way in which they convey this is in the way they aim to prompt readers’ guilt, by insisting that they need to “mov[e] [their] eyes from [their] screens” and onto societal problems around them that are “more important”. Indeed, readers are likely to feel guilty and ashamed for being totally absorbed in their personal life and interests to the extent of disregarding more demanding public issues, which the writer claims Banksy has managed to do. Hence, the writer aims to evoke readers’ sense of appreciation towards Banksy for directly targeting “the most sordid aspects” of society “in a climate of much unrest and uncertainty.” Readers are indeed likely to feel appreciative of Banksy from such a description and may see the value in his work as they realise that he is tackling societal issues head front and is striving to restore a sense of security in the British public in a period of angst and disillusionment. Indeed, the image of 'Girl with Balloon' is designed to touch the sensitivities of the reader, and to invite them to reflect on the decline in British society's morale. The writer further aims to illustrate how important it is to appreciate Banksy’s artwork, by aiming to generate a sense of awe and inspiration in readers when he likens the artwork to “giving an artistic voice… a vehicle of expression for all” amidst the inaudible, mindless “squabbling” of politicians. Readers are likely to view Banksy’s artwork with a sense of awe and inspiration because they would come to see it as an opportunity for common people with a sound mind – as opposed to the small-minded, misguided politicians – to make meaningful political statements about issues in the country and lead British society out of its current state of political turmoil. As such, the writer positions readers to appreciate the goodwill conveyed through Banksy’s work, affirmed by their unequivocal rhetorical question: “who wouldn’t love it?” which suggests to readers that the positive intent of the artwork is undeniable. 

clarke54321:
Thanks in advance for any feedback on this  :)

With the intent of vindicating the esteem of Banksy’s artwork, Girl with Balloon, the writer opens by praising the artist. Employing the awe-inspiring tone, ‘from the streets of the world’ to ‘art galleries,’ the writer stridently foregrounds the way Banksy’s work extends from the implicitly mundane of landscapes to the highbrow, intellectual-type exhibitions. Not only does this comparison of visual mediums underscore the overarching, and thus well-respected, artistic influence of Banksy, but it too compels readers to understand that his work resonates with ‘everyone and anyone’; regardless of status. By hence constructing a parallel between Banksy and the quality of ant-discrimination, as further fortified by the warm, inclusive phrase ‘for all,’ the writer positions readers to appreciate the permeating, societal impact of the artist’s works. The cleansing power of this influence is indeed articulated by the writer, who intimates that ‘much unrest and uncertainty’ can be placated by Banksy’s ‘expos[ure] and undermin[ing]’ of society’s ‘most sordid aspects.’ Through the inherently disconcerting adjectives, ‘unrest’ and ‘uncertainty,’ the writer seeks to inspire a feeling of tension in readers, who are thus coaxed to reflect on the unrelenting, disturbing energy that so often consumes society. Yet, by reminding readers that Banksy ‘uses the streets’ as ‘a vehicle for expression,’ the writer vibrantly posits that it is through Banksy’s artwork, that civilians can temporarily distance themselves from this seemingly constant state of anxiety; for Banksy’s artwork allows for ‘expression’ and a consequent opportunity for self-reflection. The suggested, cathartic energy of Banksy’s work is further bolstered by the accompanying visual image of a girl releasing a red, heart-shaped balloon. Serving as a symbolic manifestation of intense, human emotion, the balloon and its release, endeavours to animate and thus clarify for readers what healing abilities Banksy’s artwork harbours. And so, seeking for readers to appreciate the spiritual resonance of Banksy’s piece, Girl with Balloon, the writer ultimately yearns for them to understand its appraisal as ‘Britain’s favourite artwork.’

NB: There is no specific argument- I'm just covering the bases of the piece in a condensed paragraph.

boooom:
Feedback on Google Docs for zhen and gnaf. File was too large to upload and copying over the formatting was too much of a struggle. :( :'(

Hope it helps!


--- Quote from: zhen on September 11, 2017, 09:11:55 pm --- ...

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--- Quote from: gnaf  on September 13, 2017, 10:40:34 pm ---...
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clarke54321:

--- Quote from: princessofpersia on September 20, 2017, 08:05:47 am ---hey there, here's my analysis

Beginning the article with a warm description of ‘good- old Banksy’and pairing it with a cliché:some odd use of grammar here. Stick to commas. that people ‘living under a rock’ wouldn’t know who Banksy is, foregrounds the expectation for the audience<----- awkward expression here, who do not know him, to solidly accept he is a prominent figure in societyI get where you're going with this, but poor expression and coherency have disrupted meaning . His character is further credited by highlighting his success on various platforms ‘from the internet to art galleries’which goes ‘up and up’ allowing for the readers who are not privy with Banksy to establish a limitless renowned and successful image as an artist in their mind. Utilising irony by following a sarcastically confused question<---- awkward expression. Utilising is a very clunky verb. Just stick to the simple 'using', which where is the evidence of this? How is irony established? questions the validity of Britain’s favourite artwork to be an artwork of the highly credited Banksy, the writer attempts to manipulate the readers to view the people, who oppose this decision, as unreasonable and petty in their reasoning. A bit of an unclear conclusion, given the lack of evidence.
The following paragraph is designed to sounds a bit too systematicreveals the humane and moral sphere of Banksy, which intends to garner attention from the ethical and moral- based readers. Although Banksy is depicted as a ‘graffiti artist’ which may negate the ‘high class and sophisticated’’ persona of Banksy earlier describedgood, the emphasis of Banksy ‘expos[ing]’ and ‘undermin[ing] the most sordid aspects of society’ conveys to the readers of the true honour of art, the righteous and truthful aspectgreat, but you could take it even further and do some word-based analysis. What are the connotations of sordid?. Ensuring the audience shares this viewpoint, the use of inclusive language to describe the movement of our eyes from growth-<--- bit of an odd expression. Not entirely sure what you're saying preventing ‘screen all day’onto the ‘world and issues around us’ prompts readers to ponder the good and morality of their everyday ‘work.’? This vulnerable questioning momentI think I'm a bit lost is utilised by the author to laud Banksy for ‘slap[ping]’ a wake- up call in the audiences’ way to work. Banksy’s decision is implied to enrich the human understanding of the ‘sordid’ world, hence the ethos- characterised audience likely to accept and endorse Banksy’s artwok to be a reciepent of the awardcould have been some further analysis to get to this point. Try not to have too much evidence without analysis.. Underlying in the paragraph is Banksy’s moral conflict with the ‘sordid’ world. As the author’s ‘sordid’ description of the world brings attention to the dishonourable and immoral sphere of the globe, Banksy’s depiction as a modern Robin Hood imparts his role as a moral warrior who raises awareness of the socially- destructive elements of the world. In this way, a sense to support Banksy is established within the reader as they do not integrate into the ‘sordid’ world.This last part confuses me. I'm not sure how you got to this conclusion.

(its incomplete- yr 12 and all ;))

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Well done on the analysis! You have a really good understanding of argument techniques and their consequent impact on readers. To improve, I'd recommend that you work on your clarity and expression. Try to incorporate some shorter, more sharper sentences into your analysis. This will prevent clunky, incoherent expression. Keep up the great writing  :)

clarke54321:

--- Quote from: scout on September 21, 2017, 12:40:04 pm ---To highlight the significance of Banksy’s work, the writer juxtaposes Banksy against the idle and negligent politicians, who they claim are doing little to address pressing issues in current British society. One waysounds a bit systematic. Launch straight into your evidence in which they convey this is in the way they aim to prompt readers’ guilt, by insisting that they need to “mov[e] [their] eyes from [their] screens” and onto societal problems around them that are “more important”. Indeed, readers are likely to feel guilty and ashamed for being totally absorbed in their personal life and interests to the extent of disregarding more demanding public issuesthis is a great inference, but I think it would be received stronger if it were made before the reader effect. Examiners are likely to be left hanging on where the guilt is coming from otherwise., which the writer claimswhere? Banksy has managed to do. Hence, the writer aims to evoke readers’ sense of appreciation towards Banksy for directly targeting “the most sordid aspects” of society “in a climate of much unrest and uncertainty.” Readers are indeedtry not to overuse. I think this will become less of an issue when you rearrange your argument. likely to feel appreciative of Banksy from such a description and may see the value in his work as they realise that he is tackling societal issues head frontinformal and is striving to restore a sense of security in the British public in a period of angst and disillusionmentnice. But this analysis carries the same issue with the previous one. It is more logical to have readers' sense of appreciation follow this.. Indeed, the image of 'Girl with Balloon' is designed try not to be too subjective. You can never really know what it is designed for. So try seeks/endeavours/aimsto touch the sensitivities bit of an awkward expression.of the reader, and to invite them to reflect on the decline in British society's moralewait....where is the analysis of the image? How did you get to this conclusion?. The writer further aims to illustrate how important it is to appreciate Banksy’s artwork, by aiming to generate a sense of awe and inspiration in readers when he likens the artwork to “giving an artistic voice… a vehicle of expression for all” amidst the inaudible, mindless “squabbling” perhaps connect the adjectives inaudible and mindless to a word-level analysis of 'squabbling.' It sounds less subjective. of politicians. Readers are likely to view Banksy’s artwork with a sense of awe and inspiration because they would come to see it as an opportunity for common people with a sound mind – as opposed to the small-minded, misguided politicians this is too subjective. When ever you make judgements like this, ensure that firm evidence is close by. – to make meaningful political statements about issues in the country and lead British society out of its current state of political turmoil. As such, the writer positions readers to appreciate the goodwill conveyed through Banksy’s work, affirmed by their unequivocal rhetorical question: “who wouldn’t love it?” which suggests to readers that the positive intent of the artwork is undeniable.  good

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Great piece of analysis. To improve, I'd recommend that you fully tease out evidence before coming to the reader effect. It just strengthens your argument. Also try and avoid subjective statements. But apart from these minor things, your analysis and break down of argument is strong. Keep it up :)

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