Maybe this is isn't really related to the orginal post, but what if the feeling isn't mutual when you ask them out, ie unrequited love? I believe the effects of this is quite distracting and even detrimental towards studies
Like I was good friends with this girl and had short but seemingly long exchanges that drew me to her
but anyways, later found out that the feelings unfortunately weren't mutual, and so the inception of this agonizing pain (maybe cause im not that emotionally strong lol)
But yeh unrequited love does lead to some distraction, like personally, I'm finding myself less focused on HSC due to overthinking about the past etc etc I used to view studying as fun as well as other hobbies, but it does all kinda seem bleak and meaningless now... We're still talking, although the frequency is decreasing haha. Hopefuly time heals and I get to be myself again before HSC starts
haha enough of my ranting, but on the other hand, I do actually think being in actual love and in a healthy relationship is good. Like I dont think think it's really distractive, heck it might even give some confidence boost and motivation, but of course, I wouldnt know
just my 2 cents
You know what? I actually don't think this is a bad thing. Your life isn't going to be perfect the whole way through, and there's going to be tough times but you can't just sit at home and cry for three months until you get over it. In high school or later on, we've all got to tough it out and keep as much of a hold on our daily responsibilities as possible. Sure it is distracting, but these are the things that teach you how to prioritise, how to take care of yourself, what you value more, how to keep going despite life's difficulties. And you will have to learn it at some stage- this isn't something you can live your life not knowing. We can't just not expect to get heartbroken or expect loved ones to live forever because we don't want to be distracted from studies. At a young age, it seems really important, but later in life the distraction doesn't seem such a big deal. And you learn to balance so you can have everything - it's not like you're throwing away your whole education to be in a relationship. Anyway that's just my 2 cents on this matter
Would you say there are relationships that formed from lust or infatuation, rather love? How would a young pubescent teenager know the difference between the lust or infatuation they have for someone and if they actually love them?
I feel this pretty hard. My only dating experience conflicted with this ideology so deeply. I was against high school dating for a very long time, and dating in general pretty much my whole life. Of course this is not the case now, I could learn a lot about relationships from a 14 year old and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think the most important thing at any age is to know what you don't want. It takes experience to learn what we do want, but especially in high school with so much going on, you need to know if you want to find someone to marry at 15 or to have someone close but who won't make you sacrifice your education.
I made that mistake- I didn't know what I wanted or didn't want, and it was only when someone came into my life and I realised I was lonely and I wasn't able to back out that I realised I didn't want him. Admittedly, I didn't think I'd suffer as much as I did, but that's probably my fault too. I just wanted a mildly lustful thing that I didn't even want to call a relationship, but he wanted me forever and his alone. I couldn't even keep my family with him. Nearly three years on, I still suffer severe anxiety and depressive episodes from that experience. Everything suffered, my grades, my friends, my family, my confidence.
I'm not saying every breakup is this dramatic aha, but when you're this young, sometimes you don't know as much as you think you do, and I think it's really important to weigh up what you value more and also think about the person you're with. There's a difference between someone you can be lustful with, someone you can laugh with, and someone who clings to you for their every need that you can't deliver at that age. Above all, I just believe that you've got to be aware that you're young and you're not going to know everything, and be okay with that before you get into a relationship. Appreciate that it's a learning experience, and you grow together as well as alone. Who knows, they might be your lover for life or just a lesson, but without a try, they won't be anything! Make decisions that you don't think you will regret (even if you do end up breaking up) but even so, I think regret is life's greatest teacher. I wouldnt be who I am today without my experiences, and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing yet, but I know I've learnt more about family, dedication, commitment, education, priority, pain, loss, need, heartbreak, relationships, lust, love, obligation, diplomacy, communication and provision than I thought possible.
Home
Help
Search
Login
