Is age (gap) important in a relationship?

[heids]

Yeah, I think maturity gap matters more than age gap.  For a very mature person for their age, someone older often suits better, and vice versa; unbalanced maturity would be far worse than different ages.  I think we place too much emphasis on what someone should behave/think like or "be up to" at certain ages.  Everyone varies!

Historically in heterosexual relationships the gap has almost always been the male being older than the female.  Why do you think this has been so?  Do you think it's still the case?

(I know a couple that's fourteen years apart who married when she was 18... end of HS and you're dating then marrying someone in their 30s?!  And what happens when he dies a long time before her, as he probably will?  He already looks old while she looks middle-aged.)

[Lumenoria]

Thanks for the responses.

This has always interested me. Like, what constitutes "too big"? Is it just an arbitrary assessment?

Like, for example, if a partner is considering retirement whilst the the other hasn't even finished school... (unlikely, but it happens).

[sweetiepi]

Historically in heterosexual relationships the gap has almost always been the male being older than the female.  Why do you think this has been so?  Do you think it's still the case?

I'm not so sure why that is the case (or if it still is), but there's a fair age gap between my parents, and my dad's the older one, haha.
Personally, I don't see any reason why an age gap should be much of an issue, but then again, I've not thought much of it before.

[Calebark]

Historically in heterosexual relationships the gap has almost always been the male being older than the female.  Why do you think this has been so?  Do you think it's still the case?

Perhaps because age is associated with maturity, maturity with protection, and historically males were the 'protectors' of women. I daresay this (archaic) attitude still persists in a lot of relationships today (just from observation).

[Henry Kocatekin]

Historically in heterosexual relationships the gap has almost always been the male being older than the female.  Why do you think this has been so?  Do you think it's still the case?

My Mum is actually 2 years older, but come to think of it, that is definitely not the norm. I'd tend to agree with the idea of male self assertion as the dominant beings/gender. I think the trend my slowly be lessening now...

[spectroscopy]

Historically in heterosexual relationships the gap has almost always been the male being older than the female.  Why do you think this has been so?  Do you think it's still the case?

Not sure why but i definitely think it's the case still (even if it's not deliberate) and I've seen issues arise from this MANY times with my friends and even myself where a guy and a girl will be dating and it going really well and eventually there is a revelation about the guys age being younger than the girl and it caused a problem.

 I've definitely seen it heaps especially after high school when you don't know exactly how old someone is without asking. You can usually get a rough idea or someone's age or at least their stage in life based on their study/work/home situation but some people take different paths and it causes them to be a lot younger or older than most people in their situation. One of my best friends met a girl at the gym and she was finishing her masters and he dropped out in like year 10 and started doing a trade and they were boyfriend and girlfriend for a few months and she must've just assumed he was like 24/25 cos he had been working full time for so many years and lived by himself (he was actually 21) but then I remember his girlfriend and I were at his house when his mum came over and asked what we were doing for his 22nd birthday and his girlfriend completely flipped out and had a tantrum because she was like 25 and he was 21 😂 LOL They never had a conversation about it or anything. And they had the same plans for the future in terms of timelines of things and personal goals and maturity etc. so the dots didn't connect in her head I don't think but it was definitely an issue at the time. They actually broke up because of it but after like 3 months they got back together but that's just one example. I've seen it heaps though with other people in a bunch of different situations. Even I have gone out with an older girl I met at work who must've assumed I was 21 or something (based on when I was graduating/snapchats of me in clubs overseas where you need to be over 21 etc.) and when she found out I was 19 at the time (she was 21) she started acting so weird about it and we had to break up cos she just had to make things weird and talk about age every 5 minutes even though it was a complete non issue until she saw my date of birth in my ID. Now that I think about it  I've also really really rarely seen a guy in a relationship be more than 1 year younger than a girl.

I'm not too sure why this is the case but oh well

Of course this is just my personal experience and anecdotal haha but I definitely think these days people are more likely to be the same age or a similiar age as their partner, as opposed to my parents generation where you see 5-15 year age differences all the time. i really think it's silly to care about age but I still understand that sometimes a switch goes off in your head subconsciously and it just changes things

[PhoenixxFire]

With age gap I feel like everyone else has already said it but i think in relationships in general its about both people being equal, to me having the same levels of maturity and world experience is far more important than age.

Kinda off topic: I feel like the thing with males generally being older than females in relationships could have something to do with maturity. The stereotype is that females are more mature so it could be that a younger female is at the same stage in her life (ie. marriage, kids) that an older male is.

[Savas_P]

Age is no predictor on how compatible two people are, as long as you are an adult it is nobody's business.

[GalacticProcess]

Similar to what some others have said, it really depends on what stage of life you are at.

In the teenage years, even 2 years seems like a lot. For example, a friend of mine was dating a girl 2 years below him (he was in year 10 and she was in year , and he got heaps of shit for it. But if you look at a lot of our parents, their age difference can be quite a lot. Another friend's dad is, iirc, 60 yrs old, and his mother is I think around 54. If that was happening when someone was in the teens, it'd be weird as. A 19 year old dating a 13 years old would be quite hard to accept. I also think that it may differ by generation. Maybe in our parents' generation, it was quite normal to date someone a few years younger or older than you, but in our generation it isn't the norm?

[ca052267]

I think that it just depends on the relationship, what mindset you have and if you're open to the age gap.
I know of people who are 15 years apart and married. It's just about maturity and whether or not you care enough for the person to accept the difference in age.
I know that right now, some people see it as weird, or unacceptable, but I think that love conquers all, and if it's love, then who are we to judge?

I know that if I were in a situation like that, I would pay more attention to their personality and maturity, rather than age.

I know this about age, but what do you think about height differences in couples?

I have friends who will only date a guy if he's taller than them. My grandparents, on the other hand, are completely opposite, my grandma is way taller than my grandpa, and I think it's so cute.