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Tempestuously cruising through the HSC

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emilyygeorgexx:

--- Quote from: Lumenoria on September 22, 2018, 09:44:08 am ---Yesterday was one of the best days ever. We have classes next Monday and Tuesday, but I have LAT on the day of our legal class party, so it was my friend and me's last legal lesson. We legit love our legal teacher/mentor so so so much, so we had gotten her a massive plush carebear, a mug with a selfie of us with her on it that says "love you miss! xoxo" and both wrote long 2 page letters, which we chucked in the bag. Tbh only a few deserve them, but for those few, I fucking love giving them heartfelt letters because I know it means a lot to them. I wrote one to my English Adv and Ext teacher in year 11 who went above and beyond for me when I was living in a hellish personal situation, and she literally sent me a long ass email after expressing her gratitude for it. So basically, we waited 'til the end of the lesson to give it to her (we snuck the bag in without her seeing) and omg her reaction was the fucking cutest thing ever. We asked her to open the mug box in front of us, and she just laughed saying "My outfit that day was horrible" HAHAHA it was honestly so heartwarming. We told her that we wrote letters which were in the bag as well (I was worried she'd chuck the bag out without seeing em lol), and she was like I cant read them rn or I'll cry hahaha. It was just so sad to come to the end of the legal journey with her.

I'm organising collective gifts and cards for my English and Eco teacher aswell, because legit no one else has initiated the process. I've done pretty well at getting most people to sign the cards, but there are a few left. So for English, we took a class pic and it was so funny because we were going to take it on self timer, but Miss was like "no get someone from next door to take it, my smile wont last for 10 secs", so we went to get someone and turns out it's her SISTER!! - who is an English casual at the school. So we got the pic and it was super duper cute - we did it because I wanted to do a photo mug and frame for her, but my teacher didn't know that lol. So I did all that at Kmart, and omg the photo frames turned out SOOO cute - I couldn't stop staring at it ahahah. On the way home, I checked my email and omfg my legal teacher had sent me an email with the subject "Thank you!" and omg my heart dropped. I instantly clicked on it and omg amongst other things, she said that our "beautiful letters" made her cry a lot and that days like today reminded her of why she started teaching to begin with. It was the cutest thing and ended with "Now, a family draft? Crime? Ha!" lol. I was so happy because earlier today, my friend (who partnered up with me on this gift), told me how her English Adv teacher (who has a daughter in yr 11), was trashtalking my legal teacher's ability to teach saying that "I should give her some English sentence structures and have her turn it into legal ones",and it made me so mad hearing that. Like bitch, just because your daughter did shit, you have legit no right to criticise her because 1. you have no expertise in that subject area like wtf?? The style of legal essays are so different to that of English. It's like a math teacher condemning someone's ability to do english 2. she legit does nothing to help her students, people have legit handed a draft in and gotten no reply. She only looks at drafts of people who are ranked well, meanwhile my legal teacher looks at everyone's within a day max. She makes herself so readily available for her students, so this teacher's daughter could've easily addressed any concerns with her cos she would've been more than happy to help. And also it's not like they have no clue how to do essays, my legal teacher legit gave them the essay I wrote last year that got 25/25, so the should have a good idea of the writing style they need to apply in their work??? Ugh so in my letter I wrote "When people criticise your teaching, always remind yourself that your altruism and passion for your students will take you further than anything else in this world as a teacher", because apparently this english teacher is planning to set up a parent conference with her to roast her (she's the most intimidating person ever). I know my legal teacher would be very professional about it because that's just the person she is (she used to be a solicitor), but idk this English teacher has seniority with 10+ years of experience which might intimidate her. It just annoys me when people undermine her integrity, because she is literally SO dedicated to us and deserves the world. Hopefully she keeps what I wrote in mind.

On another note, I am still in my post trials utopia omg. I think it's because I have so much coming up before I can go hard studying that it's throwing me off lol. But I cannot stay in this state of inertia - it's so bad ugh. I've really only been doing English - I've sent a thousand practice Mod B essays to my teacher lol. I managed to do 3 hours yesterday - I finally finished my essay for surrogacy, which I emailed to my teacher at like 2am lol. I have a party tonight, so I'm trying to do 5 hours of study before it starts. I LEGIT NEED TO DO MORE MATHS OMG!!! I'm a bit worried also because I'm getting really sick and am at the precipice of losing my voice, which is not good considering the formalities coming up.

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OMG !! The present is so cuteeeeee! What time is your LAT session??? Maybe I'll see you there!!

Lumenoria:


--- Quote from: emilyygeorgexx on September 22, 2018, 11:18:52 pm ---OMG !! The present is so cuteeeeee! What time is your LAT session??? Maybe I'll see you there!!

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Hehe aw thanks!! 9am!! Is everyone's session different? I thought everyone had the same ahahaha

emilyygeorgexx:

--- Quote from: Lumenoria on September 23, 2018, 08:46:28 am ---Hehe aw thanks!! 9am!! Is everyone's session different? I thought everyone had the same ahahaha

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Ahhh no way!! I am at 9 am too, so maye I'll message you or something!! I think there's 2 sessions because 2 girls from my school are at 1:15pm!!

Lumenoria:


--- Quote from: emilyygeorgexx on September 23, 2018, 10:41:15 am ---Ahhh no way!! I am at 9 am too, so maye I'll message you or something!! I think there's 2 sessions because 2 girls from my school are at 1:15pm!!

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Aw please do, I need to see you!! Also, are you studying for it? I'm lowkey winging it - I have no motivation to study for school rn, let alone the LAT and it's so bad hahahaha

Lumenoria:
Haven't posted here in AGES, so I'll give you guys an update.

So, I've graduated - as of Thursday, the 27th September. It came far, far too soon. It's honestly the most surreal experience - I still can't come to terms with the fact that I've left behind all the teachers that have, with their support, mentorship and expertise, helped me persevere through some of the hardest times of my life ever. I was especially saddened, that I wasn't able to have a proper conversation with my Year 11 English Advanced & Ext teacher (that I've mentioned on here multiple times) - one of the most influential figures in my life - before I graduated. She was absent from school on Wednesday, and so I was hoping she would appear at formal, but she wasn't there (which is fair enough  I suppose - considering she no longer takes any year 12 classes). For academically inclined students like me, I feel like graduating is so normalised that it's no longer an achievement, if that makes sense. All my teachers now, they obviously congratulate me, but at the same time, I know they expect it - because they've only really seen me at the best, which is, the results of my perseverance when I'm not in the school environment. The whole year, I spoke to my mentor about how stressed I was for this exam and that exam, and she would always reassure me, because I had already established a precedent of getting 90+ in every assessment for that subject. And it's tough to conceal the truth, that it's not just about the numbers. It's about never getting any fucking sleep, living on Centrelink payouts, worrying about overstaying my welcome at friends' houses, always being that friend that relies on the kindness of others, being the one addicted to x substance, constantly hustling to get by. It's about knowing that dropping out would make life so much less mentally exhausting, but not wanting to be a product of my own circumstances. Instead, wanting to persevere and revel in the joys of the present, even when it seemed at odds with the state of the world. It's so easy for people to judge, and especially trivialise, with their preconceived beliefs, when they haven't seen this hell. It's fucking hard. The amount of mental energy I've expended into the HSC to ensure I don't end up dead somehow, is insurmountable. To graduate without anyone there to watch, whilst my friends had grandmothers coming from the Blue Mountains to specifically cheer them on, is something that I've grown accustomed to over the years. And it sucks. But the whole time, I knew that this teacher was watching over me, that she would've been so proud of me for not only making it to graduation, but to have done so in the top 5 for all my subjects. I so badly wanted to just go up to her and be like "I FUCKING DID IT" AHAHA. I guess I'll just work my ass off to make it to the high achievers assembly, and do it then because I suppose, in a way, it's too early to tell right now. I'm so lucky to have had amazing people surround me in school, who, although were never conscious of this fact, always had my back. In such situations, you get to a point where you pretend to be happy, and ultimately trick yourself into thinking you really are. That was me in school, almost always. And I couldn't be more thankful for it. It's seriously a miracle that I made it out alive. God, I hate being vulnerable/sentimental like this, but since this will probably be one of the last ever posts on this journal before the four weeks of hell are upon us, I suppose I may as well be.

My overall internal ranks were;

English Advanced - 3/35
General Maths - 5/54
Legal Studies - 3/30
Economics - 3/18
Industrial Technology Multimedia - 1/18

So, overall, I'm in a decent position leading into the HSC. But omg. I have not been studying anywhere near as much I should be - I legit felt way more prepared for trials, which is not a good thing. Obviously, after trials, I was no longer as bound to my stringent study regimen as I used to be, so I let loose a bit lol - perhaps a bit too much, considering I haven't had a sober weekend since trials until today HAHAHA. Everyone's turning 18, so I mean, what can you do? ahaha. I'm pretty sure this has relegated my ATAR from a 95 ish to like 89 ahahaha but whatever, I'm not as fussed about it as I used to be. I just want these next 30 days to go by as fast as possible honestly. I've been doing atleast 5 hours study per day, which is okay, but I definitely am not being as productive as I want to be. I've done SOOO many practice essays for English so I feel prepared for that, but nothing else really ahahaha

Wishing everyone all the best in their studies! x

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