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Author Topic: Tracks and Into The Wild Essay for EXAM  (Read 7743 times)  Share 

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Benji414

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Tracks and Into The Wild Essay for EXAM
« on: October 14, 2017, 01:42:42 pm »
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Hey Team,
I need help with my essay. It scored 41/60 but not sure how to improve, Any advice??  ;)

Both Tracks and Into The Wild explore the idea of a quest. Discuss

Both Tracks, by Robyn Davidson, and Into The Wild (2007) by Sean Penn, explore the notion of a journey in isolation and the challenges the protagonists succumb to during their quests opting growth. While Tracks conveys Robyn’s endeavor to extend her boundaries and gain a deeper understanding of the land and it’s inhabitants as a result of such a quest, Into the wild espouses Chris’ attempts to isolate himself from societal limitations and familial struggles which obscure his freedom and thus, truth. During such endeavors, having a oneness with the land contrasts the protagonists to their respective fates, where Robyn traverses the continent alongside human relationships, and McCandless discovers this truth alas, too late.

Both protagonists yearn for a sense of freedom during their quests, where Robyn desires to set free the limitations that bind her to gender and class, and Chris’ pursuit to refute familial bondage. Chris describes himself as an ‘aesthetic voyager’ whereby his quest for ‘ultimate freedom’ includes the removal of ‘money, power [...] sick society’ and ‘parents. Hypocrites’. This is symbolised in the burning of his money, where Penn frames chris’ disadence with materialism and consumerism, the very fabric and foundation society and his parents are built on. Here, Chris demonstrates the fragility and the insignificance of money which yield to nature's element, fire, whereby chris wants to be apart of ‘the wild’. In light of this quest, Robyn seeks an alternative for the ‘female syndrome’ that places limitations on her sense of freedom. Her endeavor is symbolised through her war with ‘the kurts of this world’ who try to circumvent her ability to partake in such a trek which she ‘guarded like a jewel’.. Furthermore, the fact that she partakes in a quest where there is ‘no loved ones to care for’, which includes her sister who epitomises the traditional ‘female’ stereotype, being ‘married with four children’, mirrors her ultimate desire to withstand such boundaries that also pinned McCandless to ‘a lie of everyday's truth’. Thus both texts display a longing for truths and freedom, where familial struggles ‘struck at the core of Chris’ identity” and Robyn's endurance of the quest suggest the strength of her class and gender.

The quest for an affinity with the land is depicted in both texts whereby Robyn succeeds in understanding her environment and surroundings, Chris’ realisation of his lack of knowledge of the land leads to his ultimate demise. Robyn romanticizes her love for the land; ‘i love you sky...camels...desert, desert, desert’. She describes herself as a nomad with ‘no home’, which she rectifies she could be ‘queen’ in the desert. The fact that she chooses the role of a ‘queen’ demonstrates her desire to be in oneness with the land rather than a king, symbolising dominance and authoritarianism over the land. In stark contrast, McCandless’ ignorance, attempting to tread the land with ‘no boots’, ‘no watch, no maps’ highlight his estranged knowledge of the Icy Alaskan Landscape whereby identifying artifacts by its ‘right name’ becomes obsolete, impacting upon his life. Penns reconstruction depicts the vastness of the environment, where the frame pans out from Chris into an extrude of a panoramic view, depicting Chris’ loneliness and insignificance in the face of the Alaskan environment. Moreover, his failed attempt at the river crossing further highlights the detrimental impacts of a lack of knowledge of the land, delivering Robyn to a safe haven and McCandless to his death.

Human relationships, although the notion of escapism as the substance of both quests, is explored in both texts as the core truths both McCandless and Davidson come to accept. Robyn’s endeavor to relieve herself of social relationships and the ‘comfort in it’ is initially her goal throughout the quest. Rick’s appearance spurs Robyn’s discontent at the beginning of the journey whereby she concludes him a ‘parasite’ and a ‘connection’ to the outside world. Although she achieves an intimate relationship with Rick, Davidson reiterates her desire for ‘complete isolation’ and regards such a relationship as a ‘silly mistake’. Although the crux of her quest is achieved to a degree of isolation, her true turning point occurs at the presence of the ‘aboriginal elder’ Mr Eddie. Through their bond, Davidson describes herself as ‘invincible’ and having ‘limitless power’ as such a relationship allowed her to know the ‘nets and webs’ of the environment. She realises that ‘[she] wanted [relationships]’ and ‘needed them’ which fuelled her trek alongside Rick. While Robyn expresses her feeling at the appearance of Eddie, McCandless withholds any connections throughout his interactions. His suggestion of father-figure Ron to be ‘an old man’, ‘sitting on [his] but’ ignores the profound impact that such a father-son relationship can bring to an individual. Chris’ rejection of allowing Ron to ‘adopt [him]’ further suggests his compulsion to stray towards loneliness and isolation, which is reflected in his rejection of the ‘rubber tramps’, a future surrogate family. However Penn draws upon Chris’ moment of realisation in the ‘magic bus’ where, during his final hours of solitude, ‘the light of god’ shines, reflecting Chris’ forgiveness of his family in the motif of sunlight. His joy of human relationships at the thump of each diegetic sound heightens and is reflected in his final statement: ‘God bless all!’. The fact that he concludes with his real name, ‘Christopher McCandless’ rather than ‘Alexander Supertramp’, suggests that he, during his quest for truth, has come to the realisation of the importance of familial and human relationships, alongside Robyn where her journey of complete isolation has ended with the support of human relationships.

That the pursuit of a quest through isolation relinquishes familial and societal boundaries obscuring freedom, polluting the importance of truth and human relationships and thus opting growth, both Tracks and Into The Wild explore the effects a journey into nature can have for individuals who attempt such treks. 

clarke54321

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Re: Tracks and Into The Wild Essay for EXAM
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2017, 05:37:35 pm »
+4
Hey Team,
I need help with my essay. It scored 41/60 but not sure how to improve, Any advice??  ;)

Both Tracks and Into The Wild explore the idea of a quest. Discuss

Both Tracks, by Robyn Davidson, and Into The Wild (2007) by Sean Penn, explore the notion of a journey in isolation and the challenges the protagonists succumb to during their quests opting growtha bit awkward. While Tracks conveys Robyn’s endeavor to extend her boundaries and gain a deeper understanding of the land and it’s inhabitants as a result of such a questgood, Into the wild espouses Chris’ attempts to isolate himself from societal limitations and familial struggles which obscure his freedom and thus, truthare the two inherently related? Freedom--->truth?. During such endeavors, having a oneness with the land contrasts the protagonists to their respective fatesI get where you're going, but expression is lacking, where Robyn traverses the continent alongside human relationships, and McCandless discovers this truth alas, too late. great delineation of argument. Just watch expression. If you can clear that up, your arguments will be received much stronger  :)

Both protagonists yearn for a sense of freedom during their quests,--when read the gap between these two clauses is incoherent. Perhaps- "While both protagonists yearn for a sense of freedom during their quest, Robyn..........., whereas Chris....... where Robyn desires to set free the limitations that bind her to gender and class, and Chris’ pursuit to refute familial bondage. Chris describes himself as an ‘aesthetic voyager’ whereby his quest for ‘ultimate freedom’ includes the removal of ‘money, power [...] sick society’ and ‘parents. Hypocrites’. This is symbolised in the burning of his money, where Penn frames chris’ disadence with materialism and consumerism, the very fabric and foundation society and his parents are built ongood analysis of film tech.. Here, Chris demonstrates the fragility and the insignificance of money which yield to nature's element, fire, bit unclearwhereby chris wants to be apart a partof ‘the wild’expression needs some work in this sentence.. In light of this quest, Robyn seeks an alternative for the ‘female syndrome’ that places limitations on her sense of freedomnice. But perhaps you could write a stronger, linking sentence between the texts.. Her endeavor is symbolised through her war with ‘the kurts of this world’ who try to circumvent her ability to partake in such a trek which she ‘guarded like a jewel’here you've just quoted for evidence. What can you gather from these quotes? They must be analysed. Eg. What does the simile suggest about Robyn's character?.. Furthermore, the fact that she partakes in a quest where there is ‘no loved ones to care for’, which includes her sister who epitomises the traditional ‘female’ stereotype, being ‘married with four children’, mirrors her ultimate desire where is evidence of this in the text? Good point if you can back it up. to withstand such boundaries that also pinned McCandless to ‘a lie of everyday's truth’. Thus both texts display a longing for truths and freedom, where familial struggles ‘struck at the core of Chris’ identity” and Robyn's endurance of the quest suggest the strength of her class and gender. good ideas once more, but a greater focus on analysis is needed. Conclusions are built off analysis of evidence, not just evidence itself.

The quest for an affinity with the land is depicted in both texts whereby Robyn succeeds in understanding her environment and surroundings, Chris’ realisation of his lack of knowledge of the land leads to his ultimate demiseonce again great points, but expression is lacking. I think the key is a revision of conjunctions. Perhaps try phrases like, "Despite both texts depicting.......X, Tracks' Robyn .......X, where Into the Wild's Chris.....X " These are good when you've got a point of difference. . Robyn romanticizes her love for the land; ‘i love you sky...camels...desert, desert, desert’try and add some further depth to this quote. What does the repetition of "desert" suggest. What can you gather from her current psyche?. She describes herself as a nomad with ‘no home’, which she rectifies she could be ‘queen’ in the desert. The fact that she chooses the role of a ‘queen’ demonstrates her desire to be in oneness with the land rather than a king, symbolising dominance and authoritarianism over the landlovely. In stark contrast, McCandless’ ignorance, attempting to tread the land with ‘no boots’, ‘no watch, no maps’ highlight his estranged don't think this is the right adjective. Maybe deprived knowledge would work better?knowledge of the Icy Alaskan Landscape whereby identifying artifacts by its ‘right name’ becomes obsolete, impacting upon his life<--- bit of an odd expression. Great ideas here, but split it into two sentences to add depth.. Penns reconstruction depicts the vastness of the environment, where the frame pans out from Chris into an extrude of a panoramic view, depicting Chris’ loneliness and insignificance in the face of the Alaskan environmenthow does this build on your last point?. Moreover, his failed attempt at the river crossing further highlights the detrimental impacts of a lack of knowledge of the land, delivering Robyn to a safe haven the inclusion of Robyn seems a bit jolting here. Doesn't feel like a proper zoom out, linking sentence.and McCandless to his death.

Human relationships, although the notion of escapism as the substance of both questsodd in expression, is explored in both texts as the core truths both McCandless and Davidson come to acceptgood. Robyn’s endeavor to relieve herself of social relationships and the ‘comfort in it’ is initially her goal throughout the quest. Rick’s appearance spurs I think a word like motivates/prompts/drivesRobyn’s discontent at the beginning of the journey whereby she concludes him a ‘parasite’ and a ‘connection’ to the outside worldtry and get a deeper analysis of the phrase "parasite." It's quite a horrible term. What can we gather from Robyn?. Although she achieves an intimate relationship with Rick, Davidson reiterates her desire for ‘complete isolation’ and regards such a relationship as a ‘silly mistake’this has launched into retelling. Work on analysing quotes further.. Although the crux of her quest is achieved to a degree of isolationonce more, I get what you're saying- just work on expression, her true turning point occurs at the presence of the ‘aboriginal elder’ Mr Eddie. Through their bond, Davidson describes herself as ‘invincible’ and having ‘limitless power’ as such a relationship allowed her to know the ‘nets and webs’ of the environmentanalyse these quotes! There is something intensely metaphorical about this.. She realises that ‘[she] wanted [relationships]’ and ‘needed them’ which fuelled her trek alongside Rickthis is retelling. While Robyn expresses her feeling at the appearance of Eddie, McCandless withholds any connections throughout his interactionsgood point of comparison. His suggestion of father-figure Ron to be ‘an old man’, ‘sitting on [his] but’ ignores the profound impact that such a father-son relationship can bring to an individualhow? What makes this profound?. Chris’ rejection of allowing Ron to ‘adopt [him]’ further suggests his compulsion to stray towards loneliness and isolation, which is reflected in his rejection of the ‘rubber tramps’, a future surrogate familygood analysis. However Penn draws upon Chris’ moment of realisation in the ‘magic bus’ where, during his final hours of solitude, ‘the light of god’ shines, reflecting Chris’ forgiveness of his family in the motif of sunlighttry and build a greater connection between this light and the light he witnessed with Ron. I know you've got the quote, but a greater analysis of this alone may strengthen the conclusion of a forgiveness symbol. His joy of human relationships at the thump of each diegetic sound heightens and is reflected in his final statement: ‘God bless all!’. The fact that he concludes with his real name, ‘Christopher McCandless’ rather than ‘Alexander Supertramp’, suggests that he, during his quest for truth, has come to the realisation of the importance of familial and human relationships, alongside Robyn where her journey of complete isolation has ended with the support of human relationships.nice

That this is confusing the conclusionthe pursuit of a quest through isolation relinquishes familial and societal boundaries obscuring freedom, polluting the importance of truth and human relationships and thus opting growthawkward, both Tracks and Into The Wild explore the effects a journey into nature can have for individuals who attempt such treks. this is a bit general. Try and zoom out to a more meaningful conclusion. What does each protagonist learn at the end?


What was good:

-Depth and breadth of ideas
-Meaningful points of similarity and difference
-Great selection of quotes
-Good structure overall

What could be improved:

-Greater analysis of quotes (this will further emphasise/justify your insightful ideas)
-Expression
-General conclusion

Keep up the great work! If you have any questions, please let me know  :)
BA (Linguistics) I University of Melbourne
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dec.hargreaves

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Re: Tracks and Into The Wild Essay for EXAM
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2017, 10:39:26 am »
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I've found that when I mention the soundtracks from Into the Wild, my marks jump up. Our teacher calls it text construction, although I'm unsure as to what that would be in Tracks

clarke54321

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Re: Tracks and Into The Wild Essay for EXAM
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2017, 10:55:32 am »
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I've found that when I mention the soundtracks from Into the Wild, my marks jump up. Our teacher calls it text construction, although I'm unsure as to what that would be in Tracks

Are you referring to text construction in 'Tracks?' Obviously there isn't a voice-over or soundtrack, but you could definitely still make reference to narrative structure, photos and pro/epilogue. These are conscious elements of construction used by Davidson (and perhaps a good point for similarity/difference). Hope this helps :)
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boooom

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Re: Tracks and Into The Wild Essay for EXAM
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2017, 11:43:15 am »
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I've found that when I mention the soundtracks from Into the Wild, my marks jump up. Our teacher calls it text construction, although I'm unsure as to what that would be in Tracks

Also worth considering how Robyn uses language to characterise people and the environment, especially the description-dense passages.

Benji414

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Re: Tracks and Into The Wild Essay for EXAM
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2017, 07:11:12 pm »
+1
WOW!! Amazed at your effort of correcting my work :)
With this in mind, how would I improve the expression of my writing?
Cheers :) :)


clarke54321

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Re: Tracks and Into The Wild Essay for EXAM
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2017, 08:36:23 pm »
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WOW!! Amazed at your effort of correcting my work :)
With this in mind, how would I improve the expression of my writing?
Cheers :) :)



No worries at all :)

To improve expression, I'd recommend that you use simple language where possible. By all means use sophisticated language and sentence structures, but try not to use too much of it at once. Eg: 'notion of escapism as the substance of both quests.' Here it's quite verbose. Perhaps try: With both quests offering Robyn and Chris a form of escapism....

I don't think it was much of an issue in your essay, but shorter sentences can definitely help with expression. Multiple clauses can obfuscate meaning quite easily. Further, short sentences add a nice variation to essay writing.
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