Mark my Medea essay please??

[halo]

Hi guys. So I started writing an essay, but halfway through I realised that my arguments simply weren't "different enough" to each other and I became stuck. I would be really thrilled if I could get some feedback on my essay so far and perhaps some ideas about how to approach the topic? Cheers~

‘It is her pride which is Medea’s chief torment.’ Discuss.

Euripides’ play Medea presents the tragedy that ensues when the eponymous protagonist’s emotions exceed the bounds of rationality and enter a territory of madness and mayhem. As such, the playwright suggests that the crux of Medea’s troubles is her insurmountable pride, which is characterised by a lack of reasoning and moderation. Euripides identifies this as her chief torment because it dominates her thoughts, smothers her humanity and reasoning, and ultimately causes her to tread upon the condemnable path of filicide. The dramatist thus epitomizes Medea’s extreme pride as a woeful characteristic - an instigator of her crime and misery.

Jason’s infidelity bothers Medea to the extent shown in the play because it implies shame and dishonour for her -  something her “proud, impassioned soul” will not allow her to accept. While the loss of her relationship with Jason indeed vexes her, evident in her audible cries and outbursts which punctuate the opening of the play, it is the loss of her honour which accompanies Jason’s betrayal which distresses her the most. This is manifest in how she is almost in disbelief that he would dare break the “oaths” he made as “his right hand clasped [hers].” She is surprised because she regards herself, in particular, as entirely undeserving of such lowly treatment, being a demigod “whose noble father is the Sun,” and who has a reputation of being “no ordinary woman.” The disparity between her self-perceived honour as a fierce and powerful woman and the derogatory “weak and feeble” repute that is thrust on her by Jason’s actions infuriates her. It bothers her so much that she intends to wreak havoc in Jason’s life to realign her perception of herself with reality, again proving herself to be a “generous friend but an enemy to be feared,” instead of the humiliated and helpless woman she is expected to be in her circumstances. Her constant references to the abhorrence  she feels at being a “laughing stock” or the subject of the “mockery” of her enemies further accentuates her self-respect as the central cause of her frustration and motives to harm Jason. Therefore, Euripides demonstrates how Medea’s ego magnifies the pain and indignation she feels upon her husband’s engagement in a contraband relationship.


Topic sentences for the other two body paragraphs (which I think are too similar?):
Furthermore, Medea’s internal conflict reveals how her pride eclipses her motherly instincts, causing her to act in a way that is unnatural and inhuman.
Medea’s ego drives her to ghastly recourse of filicide, causing her everlasting anguish.

[LifeisaConstantStruggle]

Hi I might be able to do this before I start revision

I won't go into so much detail on the 1st body paragraph you have done tho, your idea+incorporation of quotes+analyses are spot on (not a lot of problems here, I actually like your writing, and first bp)
Yeah, your arguments sound fairly similar and can be conflated as your 2nd and 3rd arguments can basically be one body paragraph on its own.
What I would suggest tho, is to challenge the prompt, if you cannot find 3 arguments that relate+conform to the topic itself.
"It is her pride which is Medea's chief torment." Discuss.
The word in bold is actually fairly important here, is her pride, really LOUIS U A GAY BOY the only and most significant factor that has worked against her, and caused her torment? Remember, even though her pride has technically overcome Medea's motherly instinct as you have mentioned, her love towards her children, has caused her to suffer "twice as much" as well. Medea's torment, due to love is evident here. 
Something else you might want to think about would be her triumph, would her pursuit of pride lead her to triumph over her opponents? This is fairly open ended, but if you can justify this interpretation it would still be fine.
Good luck!

Edit: if you change the arguments of your essay you might wanna modify your first paragraph too, just to make it flow yknow.

[halo]

I think you're right, adding a challenge would probably be most appropriate here. my mind just wasn't working when I was planning haha. I like your ideas though so I'll see how I can work them into my essay. Thank you so much

[boooom]

 

[halo]

Thank you so much for your feedback, really appreciate it

Would you be able to suggest how I can have more clarity in my first body paragraph? I think the way I wanted to approach the topic was to talk about how Medea's pride torments or harms in her different ways. I was trying to say in my first body paragraph that the main reason Medea is upset by Jason's infidelity is because it hurts her own pride, which is exemplified by how it  makes her want to take revenge on him so she can stop being the victim/laughing stock  and get her honour + reputation back.

Also, how can I 'acknowledge the nuances in Euripides' argument'? I do understand things aren't as clear-cut, but imo the problem is in my contention, right? Would challenging the prompt make my essay a bit more nuanced?

To be honest my teacher has been no where near as critical of my work the entire year and I've also done quite well, so I'm beginning to think that I may have a false sense of security in my abilities in English. This was no where near my best work as it was written in  20 minutes or so with some quick editing before I put it up, so fair enough :p

[boooom]

Thank you so much for your feedback, really appreciate it

Would you be able to suggest how I can have more clarity in my first body paragraph? I think the way I wanted to approach the topic was to talk about how Medea's pride torments or harms in her different ways. I was trying to say in my first body paragraph that the main reason Medea is upset by Jason's infidelity is because it hurts her own pride, which is exemplified by how it  makes her want to take revenge on him so she can stop being the victim/laughing stock  and get her honour + reputation back.

Also, how can I 'acknowledge the nuances in Euripides' argument'? I do understand things aren't as clear-cut, but imo the problem is in my contention, right? Would challenging the prompt make my essay a bit more nuanced?

To be honest my teacher has been no where near as critical of my work the entire year and I've also done quite well, so I'm beginning to think that I may have a false sense of security in my abilities in English. This was no where near my best work as it was written in  20 minutes or so with some quick editing before I put it up, so fair enough :p

Oh, no! That's just me - I tend to be super harsh when I mark other people's work, so sorry!! if the feedback wasn't as constructive as it could be. Your piece is fine but there's just some things that need to be fixed up.

With regards to clarity, I think you could improve if you organised your argument more linearly because you're going in circles with your current approach, from evidence --> pride is what pisses Medea off --> repeat. What are you suggesting from saying that Medea is angry because of her pride - such an argument on its own is merely plot recount, with you stringing a bunch of evidence together to prove something about the character. Link it to broader ideas. Aiming for more simple yet precise vocabulary should also help. Remember that words have denotations, connotations and associations - ignore any of those at the risk of misusing a word and obfuscating meaning.

And yeah, challenging the prompt with lead to a more complex interpretation of the play. Medea is filled with so much ambiguities that it would be impossible to provide a strong contention that just superficially gives a 'yes' or 'no' answer.

Hope that helps!

[halo]

Thanks so much, I see exactly what the issue is with my essay now.
and no your feedback is super constructive and helpful!! I'm just not used to it because my teacher has been so nice all year. It was a good decision to post this here