What should be the purpose of dating?

[Calebark]

Should the purpose of dating be to end up together? Is a relationship any less meaningful if you're both just looking to enjoy the pleasure of each other's company, but have no plans for the future? Is dating just a means to an end?

[zofromuxo]

Should the purpose of dating be to end up together? Is a relationship any less meaningful if you're both just looking to enjoy the pleasure of each other's company, but have no plans for the future? Is dating just a means to an end?

I would say dating is a means to an end. That end being whether you are both compataible to end up together (not that stops people breaking up & having "messy" divorces after the wedding).

As for your second question, I would say not. An example would be my now 13 year relationship with my best friends (that took me a while to count ).
We don't have plan on what the future of the realtionship is. We could end it in a year, tomorrow, today or this second. The point is I see no issue with having a relationship to just enjoy the pleasure of each other's company. Its called Friendship. Even then dating requires one to enjoy each other's company as well.

As for the purpose of dating. I guess it depends on the individual. Some go looking for a partner, others just for the "sexual" activities obtained from it, others look for "love" and many other things. I personally see dating as a way to explore whether me and the other person are compataible to end up together. That doesn't mean I go straight out asking people I'm dating to marry me and have 5 kids with me. <= There is a story behind that sentence.

I guess to sum up my ramblings on this, who the fuck cares?
Dating is dating. As long as your both on the same page on what you want out of the relationship then good on you.
It means different things to everyone and it shouldn't bother you if yours doesn't match to others.

[Joseph41]

I think dating can be an end in and of itself. It's a very personal thing.

[heids]

There isn't a universal purpose behind dating, but I think it's very very important that two people on a date understand each other's expectations (casual sex, looking towards a longer-term relationship, friendship, etc).  I feel like this often isn't clearly communicated.

I've often been very uncertain of what guys are expecting or asking of me.  I now ask point blank what they mean lol.  Awkward as it is, direct communication seems to me essential, and I feel like most people try to dodge it?

[zofromuxo]

I've often been very uncertain of what guys are expecting or asking of me.  I now ask point blank what they mean lol.  Awkward as it is, direct communication seems to me essential, and I feel like most people try to dodge it?

It might have to do because your scary heids XD. 
Most guys dodge because they are all scared of ruining the "relationship/friendship" and in the odd case are unsure themselves what they want out of it.

[Calebark]

Well damn, it's hard to have a debate when everyone has just reasonable 'you do you' attitudes. Good one, AN

I've often been very uncertain of what guys are expecting or asking of me.  I now ask point blank what they mean lol.  Awkward as it is, direct communication seems to me essential, and I feel like most people try to dodge it?

I don't understand this aversion some have to being direct. If you're not comfortable discussing the future, whether it be a long-term commitment or just casual sex, are you mature enough to be fulfilling your intentions?

[Joseph41]

Well damn, it's hard to have a debate when everyone has just reasonable 'you do you' attitudes. Good one, AN

Like, I don't think I could be in a relationship without the intention of continuing that relationship indefinitely. But that's just me, and I assume others are different.

Are you similar?

[Calebark]

Like, I don't think I could be in a relationship without the intention of continuing that relationship indefinitely. But that's just me, and I assume others are different.

Are you similar?

I most certainly am similar. It's for this reason that I've taken a pause on relationships, as I think it'd be difficult to make that kind of commitment without being comfortable with myself as a person, you feel?

I should note an important distinction. I wouldn't enter a relationship without the intention of continuing it, but this doesn't apply to dating in general. I am completely fine with going on dates with only the intention of having a pleasant time, and not continuing with anything more permanent afterwards. It allows me to satisfy that human drive for intimacy, but without the pressure of big decisions that come along with it, just feel the need to note that whenever I do go on dates, I do ensure the other person feels the same wrong. it'd be wrong for one person to go along with the intention of merely having a fun time when the other person wants a relationship. mutual intention is all that matters.

[16Elias]

In my opinion, as a young 17 year old, dating to me is where I love someone so much that I want to be with them forever... (Hard to find people similar to this these days)

[Calebark]

In my opinion, as a young 17 year old, dating to me is where I love someone so much that I want to be with them forever... (Hard to find people similar to this these days)

Perhaps that'll just make it even more special when you find someone then

Do you think it's 'okay' (for lack of a better word) for your peers to not believe in the same thing?

[16Elias]

Perhaps that'll just make it even more special when you find someone then

Do you think it's 'okay' (for lack of a better word) for your peers to not believe in the same thing?

Special, indeed.

To be honest, for it to be 'okay' i would have to live the same lifestyle as you are. I have grown up in a catholic family and sex before marriage is something that is seen as wrong and goes against everything God has planned for us. (Again, that just how i was raised) But, in saything that im no 'good' person. I have done some things I have regret. But the way dating is hightlighted in my family, is very differnt to how you see it. For example, a have fellow peers who have been in relationships from the age of 14 to present, which i have nothing against. As long as no sexual activity is going on there is nothing wrong with that. But with that a a lot of crap (couldn't find a better word) that goes on at my age is crazy. From my point of you I would say live your life how you want, I guess there is always going to be concequences on every route you take.

[K888]

Should the purpose of dating be to end up together? Is a relationship any less meaningful if you're both just looking to enjoy the pleasure of each other's company, but have no plans for the future? Is dating just a means to an end?

I mean, personally, if I date someone, it's with the view to enter a relationship with them. If I decided they weren't the right person for me, then so be it, but I personally wouldn't just date someone casually for fun (at the moment). Maybe I will be in the future.

I think it stems from what I want from relationships - I want something committed, etc. and like, emotionally, I don't think I could handle a casual thing, which seems weird. I have to commit myself to something. Totally see the other side, though. One of my best friends is currently doing the casual dating thing and says that even if she does decide to do a relationship, at the moment, she wouldn't see it being a long-term, committed thing - she just wants fun. Which is cool, and all power to her. Going off on a tangent, but I couldn't do that I think because I need the emotional connection that comes from a relationship, not just a physical connection. I reckon I would lack the ability to separate something to just purely physical - I'd get attached, etc.

[16Elias]

I mean, personally, if I date someone, it's with the view to enter a relationship with them. If I decided they weren't the right person for me, then so be it, but I personally wouldn't just date someone casually for fun (at the moment). Maybe I will be in the future.

I think it stems from what I want from relationships - I want something committed, etc. and like, emotionally, I don't think I could handle a casual thing, which seems weird. I have to commit myself to something. Totally see the other side, though. One of my best friends is currently doing the casual dating thing and says that even if she does decide to do a relationship, at the moment, she wouldn't see it being a long-term, committed thing - she just wants fun. Which is cool, and all power to her. Going off on a tangent, but I couldn't do that I think because I need the emotional connection that comes from a relationship, not just a physical connection. I reckon I would lack the ability to separate something to just purely physical - I'd get attached, etc.

Exactly like me! I want to date someone to enter a forever long relationship! I agree with everything you said.

[Joseph41]

I think because I need the emotional connection that comes from a relationship, not just a physical connection. I reckon I would lack the ability to separate something to just purely physical - I'd get attached, etc.

Sums up my position on it also.

[Calebark]

I used to be similar in that I didn't think I'd be able to have a casual thing. And I don't think I could have done it at the time. However, I think it was after exiting my first relationship that I felt a need for external validation, and it was through that I was able to start casual relationships without feeling weird. I no longer do it for self-validation (as that's quite unhealthy), but I do it nonetheless. I suspect I'll one day grow uncomfortable with the idea, and when that happens, perhaps I should start thinking about opening myself up to another relationship.

If I had to pick my 'favourite' lifestyle between a monogamous, romantic, deep relationship, and hookup culture, I'd pick the former. For my current attitude though, the former does not suit me.

Has anyone else experienced this? Has your attitude towards relationships changed drastically?