HSC Stuff > HSC Marking and Feedback

AOS creative writing feedback

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Mada438:

--- Quote from: CyberScopes on November 16, 2017, 06:25:12 pm ---I like where youre going conceptually, but I believe your plot may be a bit too convoluted - the HSC markers will only read your story once (twice if need be) and if they cant understand it easily, they will generally just decide to deduct marks due to lack of clarity (was told this by my teacher who is a creative senior marker, I had to change a lot of my creative because of that ;D)

--- End quote ---
Thanks for that due.
Where do you reckon i need to fix it??

CyberScopes:

--- Quote from: Mada438 on November 16, 2017, 07:26:30 pm ---Thanks for that due.
Where do you reckon i need to fix it??

--- End quote ---

Reading it again properly this time, the plot does make sense to me. My only suggestion along with what Elyse said is to add more techniques to convey some events (eg. Instead of the "tallest, meanest and strongest" or "she was bigger and stronger" you could use imagery, like "she towered over me" or something like that). I would also suggest to minimise dialogue where possible since it makes the piece slightly more boring and removes opportunity for more emotive language.

Mada438:
Do you guys recon that it works well with my stimulus "represents the 'hopeful' possibilities of discovery"????????????????????????

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