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Discovery extended response

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NowYouTseMe:
Hey, this was my submission for an assessment task due today, however, I feel like further refining could turn this essay into something worth using for my HSC.
The question was ' “The process of rediscovery is complex and confronting.” To what extent is this statement reflected in Wrack and one text of your own choosing? '
Could I get some feedback and suggestions to improve this essay?

jamonwindeyer:
Hey! You don't have quite enough posts for me to give you a full set of detailed feedback (see the marking guidelines) but a few pointers:

- I'd say your Thesis in its current form is perhaps the tiniest bit too broad, but if your idea is to use this as a prepared essay for the HSC this could work in your favour. You just need to add extra detail to respond to whatever question is in front of you.
- Be sure to extrapolate what is being represented beyond the characters. It should be about a concept the audience is shown. So, your sentences shouldn't be, "____ shows us this about a characters Discoveries," it should be "______ shows us this about Discovery." It shouldn't be about a characters or a narrators Discovery, it should be about Discovery conceptually/generally.
- Great textual referencing: Almost everything has a technique. It is missing in some places though. Be sure you aren't just giving a quote as evidence - Quote AND technique, they must come in a pair unless absolutely necessary.
- Watch quote length - Purely for your own benefit, some of your later quotes are pushing it a bit, especially since this is an 1100 word essay which is right on the brink of what you'd want in the HSC.
- Great work on carrying the concepts through each paragraph - Was always clear what your ideas were. Nicely done there :)

NowYouTseMe:
Thanks so much!
Didn't exactly know about the marking and feedback guidelines, so I'll keep that in mind haha

elysepopplewell:

--- Quote from: NowYouTseMe on December 03, 2017, 10:28:09 am ---Thanks so much!
Didn't exactly know about the marking and feedback guidelines, so I'll keep that in mind haha

--- End quote ---

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