HSC Stuff > HSC Society and Culture
The PIP Thread
rasha25:
Hi to all, I have kind of posted this before and got some feedback which was really good and useful. I have applied that feedback and are looking for some additional pointers as my PIP intro is due tomorrow! Thank you so much, all help and feedback is welcome. :)
P.S I have some footnoting but it won't appear in a word document but its fine because I will be printing my intro using google docs which shows the footnoting.
Mada438:
--- Quote from: rasha25 on February 15, 2018, 10:19:06 pm ---Hi to all, I have kind of posted this before and got some feedback which was really good and useful. I have applied that feedback and are looking for some additional pointers as my PIP intro is due tomorrow! Thank you so much, all help and feedback is welcome. :)
P.S I have some footnoting but it won't appear in a word document but its fine because I will be printing my intro using google docs which shows the footnoting.
--- End quote ---
Hey! Im glad you found the feedback to be useful! :) I've had a read over this new intro you have written and i compared it too the original one you made and i can see how you've definitely improved and taken on board that feedback.
In all honesty, this introduction is really good! And I've seen the progression you've made with it. Literally the only thing i could say is there is a few typos around; but thats all!!
I really do like this! This feels like a very solid introduction!
Keep up the good work! ;D
beatroot:
--- Quote from: rasha25 on February 15, 2018, 10:19:06 pm ---Hi to all, I have kind of posted this before and got some feedback which was really good and useful. I have applied that feedback and are looking for some additional pointers as my PIP intro is due tomorrow! Thank you so much, all help and feedback is welcome. :)
P.S I have some footnoting but it won't appear in a word document but its fine because I will be printing my intro using google docs which shows the footnoting.
--- End quote ---
Introduction is so very very well written! Structure is definitely correct and you've written in such a concise manner. Well done!!
My only comment is that you didn't outline what your chapters will have. You started off "The focus of my chapters include....." and then nothing came after that. The outline should just be one sentence per chapter topic. Another comment I have is that your introduction is well over 500 words. I know you included a quote at the start but quotes are always apart of the word count!!!
That's all :)
huss1235:
message me i done a very similar topic and can give you tips i got a band 6 in society this can be edited more but for tomorrow it is to late i can give you tips for next time you hand it in
rasha25:
--- Quote from: Mada438 on February 15, 2018, 10:34:26 pm ---Hey! Im glad you found the feedback to be useful! :) I've had a read over this new intro you have written and i compared it too the original one you made and i can see how you've definitely improved and taken on board that feedback.
In all honesty, this introduction is really good! And I've seen the progression you've made with it. Literally the only thing i could say is there is a few typos around; but thats all!!
I really do like this! This feels like a very solid introduction!
Keep up the good work! ;D
--- End quote ---
Hello, thanks so much for your help and hahhaha I'm not the best at spelling :)
--- Quote from: beatroot on February 15, 2018, 10:39:48 pm ---Introduction is so very very well written! Structure is definitely correct and you've written in such a concise manner. Well done!!
My only comment is that you didn't outline what your chapters will have. You started off "The focus of my chapters include....." and then nothing came after that. The outline should just be one sentence per chapter topic. Another comment I have is that your introduction is well over 500 words. I know you included a quote at the start but quotes are always apart of the word count!!!
That's all :)
--- End quote ---
Hi, thanks so much for your feedback and yes I left the chapter sentence kinda blank because I'm not 100% on the chapter outlines that I have made. (I left a comment in red when I printed it to show my teacher) and yessssss I agree I'm always over the word count luckily its only by 17 words, however I still need to shrink it to 500 or 498. Thanks so much once again :)
Mod Edit: Merged posts :)
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