Hey, I've just written the first draft of my PIP intro. My topic is the erasure and intentional suppression of individuals throughout history on the basis of gender, and its influence on the values and policies of the 21st century society (a mouthful I know). As its my first draft I've gone over on the word count but I was hoping for some feedback before I start culling it down. If anyone had any pip titles too that would be greatly appreciated, thanks!
Hey there,
Welcome to the forums! Sorry this took so long to mark but I've included my feedback in the document I attached.
Just some overall feedback:
- Good start, you've essentially covered what is required in an intro.
- There are some sections where I believed that you didn't need in an intro or you should have elaborated a bit more
- It lacks a personal voice. Because your intro and log are gonna be the first few sections the marker will read, you need to be able to grab their attention so adding a bit of personal flair can help with that.
- Tense should be in past tense, just like any other intro.
Another thing I'll suggest is maybe instead of jumping into editing your intro, start planning out and writing your central material (it doesn't need to be perfect). It gives you a great understanding on the direction of your PIP. Or maybe, your PIP may go in a direction you didn't expect. Either way, it's best to see how your PIP will go and once you have a better bearing on your topic, then go back to your intro and see if you need to add or delete anything.
Hope this helps!