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HSC Journal- The Final Years of School

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clovvy:
Had a long massive day today and it is a bloodbath (not in a bad way), but somewhat satisfying.... So today I was sitting a mock exam written by the bored of studies known as the BOS trials, where they create exam papers formatted similar to the HSC for MX1 and MX2, however they are ON steroids while still on the scope of the syllabus, even the top maths students from Sydney Grammar complains about the difficulty.... I encounter unusual and really WEIRD questions that require superb understanding or thinking outside the box, even early questions felt like Q16 in HSC or harder... on the plus side though we were given lunch for a long exhausting day...
Now I am tired after a 5 hour exam period and now I am going to rest and perhaps one of the rare occasions where I felt that my break is very strongly deserved so it is satisfying... furthermore, I was able to surpress my inner impulsive behaviour which is also a good thing so I don't get angry as much AND I do not engage in impulsive behaviours that I could regret later, hence I think I can break this cycle at the very least..

clovvy:
Yesterday Night time
I was walking to Kingsford to have Lan Zhou La Mian as I felt that I have worked quite alright and pretty happy about it....But an unfortunate occurs... My phone fell out of my pocket cracked heavily...Whilst it still have its original function and still works, the touch screen is perfectly fine.... However the graphic was very badly damaged and even worse I have A LOT of important documents in it T_T, but thankfully half of it is still clear enough for me to write down the important details so they are not lost in any way...
Once home I decided to watch the new season of Sword Art Online first episode that came up recently... It was the Alicization arc and it was epic!! Good way to end the night but RIP Redmi note 4 ~late 2016-9th October 2018~7:30pmish

Today my English teacher announces through email that she is at school for a certain hour and I can get direct feedback from her if I come and it was raining heavily (But I came anyway to discuss some stuff regarding my creative)... Since story doesn't seem to work for me, I have a different approach to creative writing that no one in my school does, it is in the form of a poem so to speak... Attempt the JRAHS English Trial paper for 2 hours and get a panic attack during exam simulation (similar to what happened during my half yearlies and some of my trial exams)... I better get used to it by the time the HSC comes...

clovvy:
Phew english is finally DONE!!!, I gotta say I somewhat did surprise myself that for paper 1 I finished every section under 40 minutes and I felt as though all of them are doable despite the fact that in my practice I consistently failed to do that.... and gotta say the discovery paper is very similar to how KNOX grammar lay their paper out but the texts are ruse-like lvl difficulty....

Paper 2 is probably what I do not expect the most since I never EVER complete a full paper under two hours and during trials I have a breakdown and I used up all of my rest breaks that the deputy actually came to check up on me.... But in the HSC I only take one rest breaks after I finish 2 of my essays and then when I start on my last one I realised I have more than enough time to spare so I did extend my essay a little bit and finished with 5 minutes to spare and check my responses with minor changes here and there.... I am happy overall.....

Now I can focus on my other subjects without any worry and once HSC is done I will still attend classes unofficially until my HSC results came out to determine whether I move on or redo my HSC again...

clovvy:
The MX2 exam was a total blow for me and I did struggle with the paper..... I felt as though I could have done heaps  better only if I was able to overcome my inner turmoil earlier so that I actually get more done..... But what's done is done, I cannot do anything about that paper anymore and I am just hoping that my raw mark is enough to hit the E3 category of 80+ despite my initial goal of 90+ in 4U.... after all it doesn't seem like I was able to catch up to them at all, I was unable to gain the fame like those who goes to selective schools and get the high E4s and band 6s...  I am just wondering if this is my capability in HSC maths, how can I even get HD average with uni-lvl maths like this?....
Although the most common suggestion is if I don't get the ATAR I wanted I can just transfer with average of 75+ which is something that I don't want to do... so I still have the option of repeating HSC in mind... while the argument against it is that I don't learn 'anything new', at the same time I haven't quite figured out what I really wanted..........
While I am trying to just focus on the next exam and not be concerned about what's done (I have failed to do this throughout the year)... All I have to do is just finish all of the exams I have and then I will decide.... although teachers may thought it is exciting to finally graduate, they may assume everyone is looking forward to graduating....I do not.... Unless my results are good enough even though I may not necessarily be satisfied with it.... I really don't want to be anywhere below the top 10% of the HSC pyramid... I will never accept that no matter what... this is why a HD average in uni while doing difficult courses may cancel out the effects of HSC maybe since it is a lot harder to get 90+ WAM over 90+ ATAR...

RuiAce:
Hey man, just wanted to say - this paper got pretty absurd towards the end. By the time it got to Q15 the amount of writing became noticeably tedious and Q16 was visibly insane this year. Don't think too hard about the paper anymore. Whilst Q1-14 seemed fair, I genuinely don't know how I feel about the last two, because their difficulty feels on par or higher than first year

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