General Discussion > Accountability and Motivation
Poet's Well-being Journal
Bri MT:
Stupid? Ugly? Useless? Failure?
You're not any of those.
Scared makes a lot of sense and I certainly won't dispute that one.
Sometimes what feels safe doesn't follow what our minds see as logical but that doesn't make it easy to function in an environment where you're on edge. It's draining even on its own.
I hope this eases again soon.
You have multiple people who see you as a wonderful person & that's because you are. However highly you are functioning we value you.
I don't think you'd choose to lie about this. It doesn't fit with what I know of you.
Thank you for telling us what's going on 💙
The Cat In The Hat:
--- Quote from: Bri MT on October 02, 2020, 07:17:37 pm ---Stupid? Ugly? Useless? Failure?
You're not any of those.
Scared makes a lot of sense and I certainly won't dispute that one.
Sometimes what feels safe doesn't follow what our minds see as logical but that doesn't make it easy to function in an environment where you're on edge. It's draining even on its own.
I hope this eases again soon.
You have multiple people who see you as a wonderful person & that's because you are. However highly you are functioning we value you.
I don't think you'd choose to lie about this. It doesn't fit with what I know of you.
Thank you for telling us what's going on 💙
--- End quote ---
You have said all that I wanted to say but didn't know how to. Thank you.
Stay safe, Poet.
Poet:
Thanks for your replies, Bri and Cat. I'm safe, I'm okay. And I appreciate you both. <3
Dear friends,
It's been a couple of weeks since my last panicked update (I'm sorry for inflicting it upon you) and I thought I'd update now.
I've been going through the process of just keeping myself safe and sane, and yesterday I moved into a hospital home and was put in the same room as last time (hooray for consistency!). About 70% of the staff are the same and actually remember me which is insane considering how long it's been since I was here last. It does help to ease my mind a little to know that they care enough to see me as an individual.
As I'm here for preventative care, I've been trusted to supervise my own medication use and I can go out for runs/walks without supervision. If I get worse and feel unsafe or unable to regulate myself, I'll let the staff know and they'll go through anything I may need - which includes checking up on me every two hours and organising possible changes/restrictions in medication or transfer to the psychiatric ward (which I doubt I'll need).
It looks like I'll be here for 2 weeks and in that time I'll have daily sessions with my keyworker/assessors and two optional therapy workshops per day. Last time I was here, I had a bit of an intimidating housemate who would follow me around so I rarely went to sessions - but this time I think I'll be a lot more comfortable in community sessions as the other housemates aren't threatening.
Also I thought I'd be sad about the instant coffee here but turns out my standards are just as low as before I started barista-ing my own with a coffee machine hehe! Hot beverages are niceeeee, especially as today is rainy and cold (yay for sweater weather!) :))
Insanipi sent me a book to read (how precious is she <3) so I might open it today and give it a try. They also have puzzles here, and I've got my laptop, phone, nail polish, art supplies and some makeup to entertain myself with in the down times. And a tonne of chocolate from my partner (thank you bb)!
Okay I think that's all. I'll have to update after I get out because I have some super exciting plans involving the care of living creatures and stuff!
Love from,
Your low-functioning but okay Poet who hasn't written much poetry lately
The Cat In The Hat:
--- Quote from: Poet on October 17, 2020, 10:22:48 am ---Thanks for your replies, Bri and Cat. I'm safe, I'm okay. And I appreciate you both. <3
Dear friends,
It's been a couple of weeks since my last panicked update (I'm sorry for inflicting it upon you) and I thought I'd update now.
I've been going through the process of just keeping myself safe and sane, and yesterday I moved into a hospital home and was put in the same room as last time (hooray for consistency!). About 70% of the staff are the same and actually remember me which is insane considering how long it's been since I was here last. It does help to ease my mind a little to know that they care enough to see me as an individual.
As I'm here for preventative care, I've been trusted to supervise my own medication use and I can go out for runs/walks without supervision. If I get worse and feel unsafe or unable to regulate myself, I'll let the staff know and they'll go through anything I may need - which includes checking up on me every two hours and organising possible changes/restrictions in medication or transfer to the psychiatric ward (which I doubt I'll need).
It looks like I'll be here for 2 weeks and in that time I'll have daily sessions with my keyworker/assessors and two optional therapy workshops per day. Last time I was here, I had a bit of an intimidating housemate who would follow me around so I rarely went to sessions - but this time I think I'll be a lot more comfortable in community sessions as the other housemates aren't threatening.
Also I thought I'd be sad about the instant coffee here but turns out my standards are just as low as before I started barista-ing my own with a coffee machine hehe! Hot beverages are niceeeee, especially as today is rainy and cold (yay for sweater weather!) :))
Insanipi sent me a book to read (how precious is she <3) so I might open it today and give it a try. They also have puzzles here, and I've got my laptop, phone, nail polish, art supplies and some makeup to entertain myself with in the down times. And a tonne of chocolate from my partner (thank you bb)!
Okay I think that's all. I'll have to update after I get out because I have some super exciting plans involving the care of living creatures and stuff!
Love from,
Your low-functioning but okay Poet who hasn't written much poetry lately
--- End quote ---
It's good you're okay. I don't know what else to say, but your update makes me happy. :) (Yeah, I'm really bad at expressing these things. Sorry.)
Stay safe. :)
sweetiepi:
I'm glad you're taking steps that keep you safe and sane, Poet.
(Btw- It's okay if you don't get to the book or try and then put it down too <3 reading for fun shouldn't feel like you're pressured to read it straight away ^-^ )
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