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November 08, 2025, 03:36:44 pm

Author Topic: Language Analysis Structure  (Read 1198 times)  Share 

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lakvinu

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Language Analysis Structure
« on: April 08, 2018, 06:39:59 pm »
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Hello,

Im in year 11 and ive been trying to improve my structure of writing. I wrote a body paragrpah. Can someone pls check if the structure i used was correct. If theres any mistakes pls tell me. When ever i try to use more than one technique in the analysis in one paragraph, my teacher always tell me that im going back to my old method of just listing techniques and saying the affect. So im confused on how to not do that. Pls tell me.

Lee open his article by introducing Schoolies through the eyes of the students. From the outset of the letter, Lee establishes the emotive headline “A Plea from the Young,” to appeal to the reader’s sense of sympathy. The word “young,” represents children or kids and in our world, most children are known to be mischievous and troublemakers, yet they are always forgiven by parents and locals. Consequently, the writer knowingly employed the word “young,” instead of student or pupil to invoke a sense of sympathy towards the reader. The word “plea,” invokes a sense of requirement by painting an image that describes begging and arguing. By human nature, people cannot often refuse people, especially children begging. Thus, the writer uses “A Plea from the Young,” to depict a young child begging to appeal to the reader’s sense of sympathy.  Upon reading, the readers will feel a sense of sympathy, especially for those that are parents. For Parents, children are everything to them, and to witness or hear a young child pleading or begging will cause a huge pain or agony to them. Thus, parents and other residents of the Gold Coast will feel empathy towards the writer and hence be forced to position themselves with the writer. The writer then attacks the residents by employing rhetorical questions; in the effort to demonstrate what schoolies meant for them. The rhetorical question expresses the writer’s anger and thus it illustrates the significance of schoolies to the students. The writer wants to appeal to their sense of empathy and to make them understand the motives of the students. By expressing the writer’s anger, it demonstrates how strongly the writers feels about the subject. Thus, the writer intends to make the reader understand that schoolies is required for students and it is of significance to the students. Upon reading, the readers will feel targeted and anger however, the readers will begin to understand the motives behind the words. They will begin to realise the importance of schoolies to the students. As a result, they will be confused between the mixed opinions, yet they will be forced to agree with the writer as they discover the true value of schoolies to the students.

Thanks
Pls Reply ASAP


« Last Edit: April 08, 2018, 06:43:06 pm by lakvinu »

PhoenixxFire

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Re: Language Analysis Structure
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2018, 07:13:04 pm »
+3
Two main points:
1. You don't know how the audience will feel, you only know how the author wants them to feel.
2. You need to talk more about the audiences reaction. They feel sympathy, so what? Does it make them reconsider there position?

Lee open his article by introducing Schoolies through the eyes of the students. From the outset of the letter, Lee establishes the emotive headline “A Plea from the Young,” to appeal to the reader’s sense of sympathy. The word “young,” suggests innocence and mistakes, implying that any harm caused was not deliberate and should be forgiven. represents children or kids and in our world, most children are known to be mischievous and troublemakers, yet they are always forgiven by parents and locals. Consequently, the writer The author knowingly employed the word “young,” instead of student or pupil to invoke a sense of sympathy towards in the reader. The word use of the imperative “plea,” invokes you use the word ‘invokes’ a lot, try to vary your language e.g. instils, engenders, suggests, etc. suggests a sense of requirement by painting an image that describes begging and distress. This attempts to sway the audience into being more open to hearing from another perspective. arguing. I wouldn’t use arguing as it is a rather ‘violent’ word and you’re trying to say that the author is making the young appear innocent, it’s a bit contradictory. By human nature, people cannot often refuse people, especially children begging It feels like you’ve repeated yourself a bit here. You need to include the audiences reaction. (e.g as I did above in blue). Thus, the writer uses “A Plea from the Young,” to depict a young child begging to appeal to the reader’s sense of sympathy.  Upon reading, the readers will feel a sense of sympathy, especially for those that are parents The article appeals to parents in particular, who are aware of the mistakes their children are prone to make. For Parents, children are everything to them, and to witness or hear a young child pleading or begging will cause a huge pain or agony You only need one adjective. to them. Thus, parents and other residents of the Gold Coast will are positioned to You don’t know how they will react, only how the author intends for them to react feel empathy towards the writer and hence be forced to position themselves with the writer. The writer then attacks the residents by employing rhetorical questions; in the effort to demonstrate what schoolies meant for them. The rhetorical question expresses the writer’s anger and thus it illustrates the significance of schoolies to the students What’s the effect on the audience? E.g attempts to make them realise their hypocrisy… . The writer wants to appeal to their sense of empathy and to make them understand the motives of the students. By expressing the writer’s anger, it demonstrates how strongly the writers feels about the subject. Thus, the writer intends to make the reader understand that schoolies is required for students and it is of significance to the students. Upon reading, the The author hopes that upon reading, the audience readers will feels targeted and anger however, the readers will begin to understand the motives behind the words. They will begin to realise the importance of schoolies to the students. As a result, they will be confused between the mixed opinions, yet they will be forced to agree with the writer as they discover the true value of schoolies to the students.
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Re: Language Analysis Structure
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2018, 08:18:42 pm »
+1
Perhaps try to keep your tense a bit more consistent?
Because at the start, it was past, then it went to future, i.e they will. I think that it is best to stick to present tense.
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