This is from i think 2008 VATE. This is the intro, first and second paragraph, ive done another 4 plus conclusion in 1 hour. Tell me what you think so far and how i can improve. Thankyou! I've added the rest and will have the article soon.
Critical and dismissive of the current behavior of society is Paul Evan a staff writer on teenage issues. Calculated and unbias, Paul Evans attempts to reveal the true extend of the "rampant consumption" within the community in his recent article, Skiing into Oblivion. The writer incorporates a series of strategically placed vocabulary, imagery and sentences to arouse the readers interest. Standing at a position of anger, Paul Evans adopts an ominous tone to highlight the growing concern for the future of human civilization and whether they will "survive the ride."
Positioned conveniently at the top of the article is a photograph that depicts a typical suburban street with a pile of computer screens. The Placement of this image at the beginning of the article is critical as it is able to directly attract the readers eye before they can read Paul Evans opinion piece. While it may be deceptive due to the incorporation of the image of computer screens into the background photograph, it nonetheless successfully addresses Paul Evans contention. Materialism seems to be the main focus of the image when taking into account the plethora of computer screens that are dumped on the street. Despite there being "finite resources" Paul Evans evokes anger by readers through giving them the impression that society is unwisely using the recourses it has. The large
advertisement of the hummer vehicle gives an indication of how the "symptom of our desire that you can buy any gadget" drives people's need to consume more than they can afford. Suggesting selfish behavior, readers are invited to agree that a "big cliff is waiting at the bottom" due to society disregarding the impact of infinite consumption of finite resources.
Paul Evans purposely conveys his main ideas in a bleak and unsympathetic manner. He disregards the fact that certain words such as "oblivion" may create a feeling of shock and fear and continues to create a distraught out look on the future of humans. Insinuating deep concern, Paul Evans provides an ultimatum to readers; whether they "learn the environmental lessons" or face the consequences of living in a society that is in a "dire state." Immediately, readers are drawn into complying with what the writer is suggesting as only one option seems to benefit them. Paul Evans makes it apparent that "bad farming practices" and "years of drought" are becoming a major "problem." The important of illustrating an unfavorable image of what society is going to become if it stays the same is antagonistic yet persuasive in drawing in not only reader attention, but their compliance as well.
Successfully inciting fear in reader’s minds, Paul Evans complements this by ridiculing the “smug lethargy” lifestyle we live by creating a barrier between society and financial security. Essentially, anything that involves money is important to an ordinary citizen but the “debt we owe” questions whether we should continue “indulging” and “enjoying the good things of life.” The significance of using money to induce fear in readers is that it engages them to act “environmentally responsible” thus preventing “this vital resource” from “erosion.” In essence, Evans affirms the idea that society is rapaciously “consuming the planet’s resources,” posing the question as to whether they are able to afford the gadgets when “the time finally comes to pay.” This portrays an image of irresponsibility and underpins the notion that spending is becoming “increasingly easy” while paying back the “provider” is turning into a “steepers slope.” Readers are engulfed in the overwhelming threat of financial ruin and assists in the elevation of Evans argument.
In a bid to encourage readers to actively participate in the article, Evans integrates an inclusive language style that assists in reaffirming the readers’ position as stake holders of the issue. Rather than describing certain groups or individuals, Evans deliberately engages the reader to help reduce the “real impact” of spending by using words such as “we” and “us.” These words are welcoming and create an intimate relationship between the author and the reader, collectively positioning them as victims and instigators of “our need for speed.” A solid foundation is established as a result, to which readers have no other alternative but to comply with Evans’ views that “we will have to pay the cost” of uncontrolled spending.
To ensure that the writer is not viewed as biased or prejudiced, Evan’s discusses the positive actions that “many of us” have been taking to ensure that our kids don’t face the “consequences” of our frivolous behaviour. Throughout the article, Evan’s promotes “saving water,” as much of the community has been doing; putting in rain water tanks just another way to heal the damaging effects of “consuming the planet’s resources.” He emphasizes the need for change by claiming that “there’s only so much we are willing to tolerate!” This statement ensures that he is viewed not only as an individual who is voicing his opinion, but one who is willing to take action and glorify individuals who do the same. Readers are inclined to becoming the “many of us” that have been “proactive in saving water” in order to appear as responsible members of society. Ignoring Paul Evans’ suggestions illustrates the reader as unsympathetic towards the consequences that future generations may face as a result of our actions identifying them as egocentric.
As designed to intensify the idea that we as a society have hit “unprecedented lows,” Evans helps readers appreciate the nature of the issue through metaphoric language. The title Skiing into Oblivion, highlighted and enlarged to attract reader attention, implies that we are heading into a state of “pain.” Skiing is a loaded word, and can also imply that while heading into a future void of environmental and financial security, we are selfishly having fun. This is significantly important in assisting Evans position readers to agree with his main contention that the inevitability of a bleak future is present unless we take action. Readers of different ages are able to understand the issue in a differing perspective while also adding a bit of cynical humour to a “crisis” situation.
Through carefully planned and positioned use of language, Paul Evans successfully placates his main contention quite vividly in readers’ minds. Effective use of imagery and the manipulation of words give Evans the opportunity to stimulate concern and anger in readers minds. Nonetheless, he makes it clear that it is best we take the “conservationist route” and save the hassle of having a “cliff waiting at the bottom.”
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