National Education > General National Education Discussion

What are your experience with formal, valedictory etc.?

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sarangiya:
We had our first formal/social in Year 9. It was the first "night" in which our all-girls school and our partner all-boys school got together. We had to attend practices for four weeks or so after school to learn ballroom dancing lol. It was, as you would imagine, super awkward but quite a fun experience. Much of the same can be said for the actual night.
In Year 10 we had another social which was a little more fun because our two schools had gotten to know each other better. More people were going out with each other, or were friends with each other, so it was much less awkward. No ballroom dancing this time!
Instead of a formal for Year 11, as many of you have mentioned, we had a debutante. As this wasn't organised through the school, it wasn't complusory to attend or participate in. Most did, though, and most partnered with the boys school students, including myself. Similar to year 9, we had weeks of ballroom dancing practice and honestly those were great fun. The night was actually more stressful than anything. The food was average. At the time, it was great. In hindsight, it was a lot of money and there is this unspoken rule: don't do Deb with your boyfriend. If you're reading this and doing your Deb next year or something... the rule is there for a reason.
Year 12 has a couple of events. Our partner school's Year 12 Formal already came and went (I didn't go). Our one is in August. Like spectroscopy said, apparently it is mostly for pictures. It is also a sitting down event, which is a first since the Deb.
As for valedictory-kimd of events, we have Graduation Dinner before exams. This is just for the Year 12s and teachers, and it's quite the formal event. More photos. Unit 4 academic prizes are given out, along with formal awards that recognise community service, leadership, and academic excellence. I believe we also get our rings, that have the school crest on them.
After exams, we have Graduation Mass. The invitation to attend is extended to family and friends and is held at the local cathedral. The students wear uniforms, and accept gifts like flower crowns made by the junior years, candles, etc. and sing hymns etc. This is the official "send-off" but there is little student contribution to the ceremony.
The year after, in Term 1 of the following academic year, there is the academic awards ceremony. This is where the overall subject awards, over 90 ATAR awards and dux are announced. The dux makes a speech which officially ends the Year 12s presence at the school, and welcomes the new academic year in.

Bri MT:
Year 10 Formal
This happenned but I didn't go to it. Apparently people had fun

Deb
Got cancelled due to insufficient numbers.  People organised private ones and I supported my two best friends by being a guest but didn't do my own.  They seemed really happy and were excited about it for a long time but I don't regret not doing it.  The whole "[name] child of [parent] and [parent] who enjoys [activity] and is hoping to [career]" was overly ritualistic and traditional imo, but it was nice that people were able to only have 1 parent stated if both weren't applicable. 
 
Other school's formal
I attended the year 12 formal of a different school in year 11 as a guest. It was incredibly fancy and since it was near the end of term 3 a decent chunk of it was filled with nostalgia and in jokes. It was awkward for a range of reasons & that probably didn't help the experience. 

Graduation
This was after everyone had finished exams and just before people started going on schoolies. The only award was the VCE certificate,  but we got the yearbook, a graduation photoframe for people to sign, the school leaver's guide, short speeches & a reminder about change of preferences. It was held in the same venue as the private debs and followed a food>official stuff > food > dancing + dessert schedule. It was good to see most people again & to celebrate exams being over

heids:
I dunno what all these different nights are, but we only had one year 12 formal (sounds like the equivalent of most vals, maybe?)

For me it was really difficult because I had no money full stop.  The school and a friend paid for me to go, and I borrowed a dress/shoes/jewellery from another friend's sister, who also did my hair.  I enjoyed the night because I liked my classmates and it was a new experience, but I felt guilty and ashamed, really.  Everyone else bought a new dress (suit in guys' cases) and got their hair done professionally, while I, as always at the time, was relying on others completely for a sub-standard final result.

If that makes sense lol

sarangiya:

--- Quote from: heids on July 18, 2018, 10:03:26 pm ---For me it was really difficult because I had no money full stop.  The school and a friend paid for me to go, and I borrowed a dress/shoes/jewellery from another friend's sister, who also did my hair.  I enjoyed the night because I liked my classmates and it was a new experience, but I felt guilty and ashamed, really.  Everyone else bought a new dress (suit in guys' cases) and got their hair done professionally, while I, as always at the time, was relying on others completely for a sub-standard final result.

--- End quote ---
I know what you mean. Just about all of my clothes are from my cousin, including dresses and outfits I wore to the formals (for deb I tried to use my other cousin's, but it was too expensive to alter and we bought a cheap new one). My make-up and hair also set by the same cousin. It must be different because as family those clothes were handed down to me for ownership, and the hair/make-up was a favour. I can understand that a friend's sister might be more difficult emotionally to deal with.
But I just wanted to say, even if you thought you looked (and indeed perhaps, felt) sub-standard, I'm sure that your friend's sister was more than happy to make you look beautiful on a special night. Even though it might feel like you're imposing on someone, for them it might be a great pleasure to help you out. You would gladly do the same thing for someone in your position, right? There's not so much we can do about how you felt in the past, but I hope you can ease your worries now by thinking that her help was probably gladly offered, and your gratitude was worth it all anyway :)

K888:
I never did my deb - fake tan and having dancing lessons every Tuesday after school for a term never appealed to me and I thought it was a waste of money haha. My school also had senior formal (years 11-12) and valedictory. I did senior formal in year 12 because I wanted to make sure I experienced as much as possible before finishing high school. It was fun, took plenty of photos with friends, but I got a bit bored towards the end and ended up just texting my dad to come pick me up a bit early haha.

Valedictory was great, we had ours the day after muck up day (so before exams). We'd already had our prize giving assembly for subject awards so it was just a night to celebrate that we'd all successfully got through VCE and all got our graduation certificates. Got a new dress, had hair and makeup done, we got to invite special family members (usually parents), we got to choose which families we wanted to sit with and all that. As we all got called up on stage and got our certificates (our homerooms were just our house groups, so it was done by house) they showed our year 7 photo (or a photo from kinder/junior school if the student came to the school before high school) next to our year 12 photo and we got one last house photo together. Our cohort voted valedictorian gave their speech (this was the highlight of the night for me) and then everyone got onto the dancefloor.

Valedictory was definitely my favourite, probably because it was the last big event I was gonna have with my cohort before we did exams and went our separate ways, so it's a nice memory to have.

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