Lang analysis intro

[lleeea]

Hi guyz,
so next year im in year 12 and off course like everyone else i have to do english. now im freaking out coz my essaywriting skills still suck lol. lang analysis is however that one area i am the most concerned about coz my analysis of things is still very surface and i still struggle wording things well.
i tried writing a lang analysis intro for the article in the 2012 eng exam about e-reading or smtn. id'd be great if u could check it for me. i know its very bad and like not vcaa standard at all,,, but i wanna improve so badly in lang analysis lol.

Following the introduction of "electronic books" and "e-reading devices" in many schools, retired teacher-librarian Mrs Ellion  contends in her opinion piece that e-books are replacing the traditional hard-copy way of reading. The piece draws attention to the fact that while electronic books act to make reading a more visually appealing and exciting experience for young students, it takes away the beauty, realism and old charm that traditional reading has to offer. She attempts to encourage teachers, librarians and students from schools to realise the importance of traditional book-reading. The opinion piece was also accompaned by a cartoon which was used as a slide during her presentation, which depicts someone buying a e-book from a book-selling store in order to suggest that while e-reading has become popular, it still carries many negative consequences on the future of reading.

[jinaede1342]

Following the introduction of "electronic books" and "e-reading devices" in many schools, retired teacher-librarian Mrs Ellion contends in her opinion piece that e-books are replacing the traditional hard-copy way of reading. The piece draws attention to the fact that while electronic books act to make reading a more visually appealing and exciting experience for young students, it takes away the beauty, realism and old charm that traditional reading has to offer. She attempts to encourage teachers, librarians and students from schools to realise the importance of traditional book-reading. The opinion piece was also accompaned by a cartoon which was used as a slide during her presentation, which depicts someone buying a e-book from a book-selling store in order to suggest that while e-reading has become popular, it still carries many negative consequences on the future of reading.

I'm also in year 11 this year, and would like to share some tips (most of which have been repeated by teachers :

1. When stating a contention, a more specific contention will likely award you higher marks:

For example:

Ellion contends that while electronic books act to make reading a more visually appealing and exciting experience for young students, it takes away the beauty, realism and old charm that traditional reading has to offer.

is stronger than

Ellion contends that e-books are replacing the traditional hard-copy way of reading.

2. Quotes
- Direct meaningful quotes from the article also help strengthen your analysis
Whilst you have used two quotes in the first sentence, try looking for some quotes within the article that sum up her contention

3.Language analysis conventions
Always comment on the headline, subheading (if applicable), and any illustrations or pictorial support
- Our teachers generally recommend commenting on these three aspects in a seperate paragraph

4. Intended effect
When stating the techniques used in the article always include the intended effect that this has on the reader. The exam does not want to test the number of techniques you can identify, examiners are more interested in seeing you analyse the technique in a manner that is more in depth.
Here are two examples of words you might use to start writing about a technique's intended effect:

elicits a sense of injustice
evokes a sense of unity and solidarity

5.Practice
As with most things, practice will help strengthen your essay writing skills. You will eventually become more familiar with the task and will have linking words that will make your writing more cohesive. 

[clarke54321]

Following the introduction of "electronic books" and "e-reading devices" in many schools, retired teacher-librarian Mrs Ellion here would be an excellent position to insert a tone type. Eg. fervently/earnestly contends contends in her opinion piece that e-books are replacing the traditional hard-copy way of reading Is this the relevant context or the contention?. The piece draws attention to the fact that while electronic books act to make reading a more visually appealing and exciting experience for young students, it takes away the beauty, realism and old charm that traditional reading has to offer excellent - here you have pinpointed the contention. Therefore, I'd recommend that you restructure the order of this introduction (see below  . She attempts to encourage teachers, librarians and students from schools to realise the importance of traditional book-reading I'm guessing this is the piece's intention. While this can be good to include, it is not entirely necessary in an AA.. The opinion piece was also accompaned by a cartoon which was used as a slide during her presentation, which depicts someone buying a e-book from a book-selling store in order to suggest that while e-reading has become popular, it still carries many negative consequences on the future of reading.I'd omit the bolded section altogether. It starts to launch into a mini-analysis, which is better left for the bulk of your piece.

This is a solid effort at an AA introduction. You've included key features, and often express these in a very logical way. As I've always maintained, the AA introduction is merely a structural device. And so, it doesn't need to be overly lengthy. Here is a typical flow that I like to follow:

Context- what is the piece about, who published it.
Tone/Contention- how is the main argument expressed, and what is this argument.
Comparison (if applicable)- make reference to the contrasting/similar tone/contention

You can take a look at a sample on my Tips and Tricks for VCE English page!