VCE Stuff > AN’s Language Analysis Club

2019 AA Club - Week 6

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Anonymous:

--- Quote from: MissSmiley on February 12, 2019, 10:51:31 pm ---Hi Ali_kfp,

Great start! No matter where you're at, practicing is the only way to improve!  :)
Be confident and please don't underestimate your abilities!
We're all learning here and that's the beauty of this!  :)

I really like how you're trying to vary your sentence structure right from the intro, which is great because assessors love variety!!
But I do think you could try making your intros a bit shorter and succinct!
Literally a small checklist you have to follow and then done!
A sentence about the issue (smarter if you could combine the author's name as well into this first sentence!  ;)), then tone word, (possibly style as well if you want), then contention, then audience, that's it!
Of course change the order of these if you want!
And don't try to put everything in the intro! Leave some of your great adjectives for style and tone for the paras where you can talk about argument construction and tone development!

Great start! :)

Looking forward to reading your practices on AN!

Hope this helps! :)

--- End quote ---

Thank you so much for your detailed review and kind encouragement:)
I will definitely try to improve these in my upcoming analyses.

Anonymous:
So instead of writing an essay, I'll just analyse sentences:

Bailey contextualises the issue by drawing on the "privilege" associated with "grow[ing]" up in a "safe and beautiful place" such as Australia. With the intention of appealing to nationalistic tendencies," the author attempts to shepherd "fellow Australians" into accepting living in Australia to be an "honour." Thereby, patriotic residents may be encouraged into believing that the only discourse to maintain Australia's reputation is to not treat it "like a rubbish tip."

The author passionately asserts the need to "reverse this terrible trend" of littering through her call to action. Specifically, Bailey enumerates the need for "more recycling bins" and "a lot more education" and, by doing this, the author cajoles environmentalists into potentially adopting such measures as a way to achieve social restoration in Australia's sustainability sector. Building on this notion, the author couples the

Building on this notion, the author scathingly disparages the inaction towards achieving a "100% rubbish free" Australia and couples this criticism with the potential desire of apprehensive parents for "children to have a better place to live." With the intention of appealing to the fundamental values of concern for youth, Bailey invites the readership to contemplate the impact of their absence towards the state of their "country" and thereby, may be encouraged to act "now" towards a "rubbish free" society.

Conversely, the author intends to propagate a surge of apprehension in readers in her description that "your children will inherit a planet that is totally destroyed." By conjuring up an image in budding parents of a desolate landscape in which humanity is redundant, Bailey endeavours to bolster a defamatory attack towards these "litterbugs" who are "destroy[ing]" what makes Australia so "beautiful." In this way, concerned parents may be encouraged to repudiate the "rubbish tip" that few Australians have created in order to elevate a higher sense of responsibility for their "children." 

Visual Analysis
The photograph accompanying Bailey's piece coincides with her notion of "litter" clogging up the beauty Australia once has. By drawing the readership towards the large amounts of "rubbish," the author attempts to galvanise them out of their complacency due to the increasing piles of "plastic" that cover Australia's beaches. In this way, local residents may be coaxed into raising awareness for rubbish not being properly disposed in an effort to ensure the sustainability of Australia's environment is maintained. Those who litter are potentially encouraged to reduce their littering or face scrutiny from the general public.

How would I analyse the following:
So much of the rubbish littering our cities and in landfill is stuff that could be recycled or single-use plastics.

- I was thinking use of phrase "so much" carries connotations associated with overly excessive and potentially destructive in connection to the "landfill" being created

Disposable plastic straws, cups, straws, knives, forks and spoons should all be banned

- not sure how to analyse this one. any thoughts?

peachxmh:
The ongoing issue of Australia's reliance on single-use plastics and its littering practices is addressed in an opinion piece by Sue Bailey titled "Don't treat Australia like a rubbish tip" (Sydney Morning Herald, 7/12/17). Bailey contends that Australians should endeavour to be more responsible about their disposal of rubbish, to show pride for their country and on behalf of the next generation - in the hope that they will rethink their habits and change them. Initially, a nostalgic and concerned tone is used, but this later shifts to a hopeful tone as the piece concludes. The article is aimed at all Australians, as well as the Australian state and federal governments.

Bailey establishes Australia as having been pristine in the past, with minimal littering. Her anecdotal evidence of her initial arrival to Australia causes readers to infer that she has both an outsider and an insider's perspective of Australia as a country. Combined with her later statement that "in those days", she thought it was a privilege to live in Australia, readers are caused to feel as though Australia has lost its appeal to outsiders, and this is corroborated by her previous establishment of herself as part of that demographic. Therefore, readers are led to believe that something must be done to change this to preserve Australia's pride as a country due to Bailey's appeal to their sense of patriotism. Her inclusion of an image depicting litter on a beach whilst people walk past nonchalantly is an attempt to cause readers to realise how desensitised Australians have become towards the issue of littering. Hence, she aims to make readers feel the need to take more action and to be more aware about their own habits. Furthermore, through her utilisation of the adjective "dirty" to describe the action of littering, she creates a sense of shame and immorality in readers who have littered, and thus portrays littering as a moral violation. This invokes guilt in her readership and a desire to better themselves by reducing the amount of litter they create. As a result, Bailey sets up a solution that reduces litter as the logical step towards restoring Australia's image to its former glory.

Proposing a series of viable solutions to the issue, Bailey argues that the issue can be reduced by banning single-use plastics and implementing better methods of recycling. Specifically mentioning "state and federal governments", Bailey pinpoints them as the group in her readership with the ability to resolve the issue, holding them accountable. Listing "disposable plastic straws, cups, straws, knives, forks and spoons" as the plastic products in circulation in our society, she places an emphasis on the extensive presence of plastic in our lives. Consequently, she causes readers to feel as though the issue is grave, and to understand the implications of irresponsible handling of such large amounts of plastic. Her suggestion of how governments could cause positive change to occur is paired with an infographic about these solutions, which depicts the information in an easily accessible and simplified manner. This translates onto readers' perception of the solutions, making them view them as also simple, which encourages them to be more active and involved in the resolution process. In a tonal shift to a hopeful tone, Bailey appeals to readers' sense of responsibility for the more vulnerable in society, by urging them to help address the issue on behalf of the "children". Her changed tone and appeal causes readers to infer that she, as well as others, are depending on them to be more responsible about their polluting habits. Bailey presents the issue as easily dealt with by both the Australian public and Australian governments, and stresses the importance of solving it for a brighter future.

Ultimately, Bailey asserts in her opinion piece "Don't treat Australia like a rubbish tip" that the issue of littering is detrimental to Australia's national identity and the future of later generations. As a result, she contends that Australians should be more responsible about their practices with regards to rubbish disposal, and urges readers to think about more sustainable replacements for single-use plastics.

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