English homework

[Studyinghard]

Essay: How do people deal with fear, trauma and grief? What factors can affect the way that someone copes with all or some of these?

Fear, trauma and grief have very different meanings. Fear is to be afraid or feel anxious about a possible or probable event. Trauma is an emotional wound or shock which can have a long lasting effect and grief is an event that causes great unhappiness. Different people have their own ways of dealing with either or all of these emotions and overcoming them although certain factors can always play a basic and an important role in how one would defeat these feelings.

      A famous quote, “a life lived in fear is life half lived”. Fear is the quintessential human emotion. The extent and range of fears varies from person to person. Dealing with fear has its own easy steps. You first need to understand your fear and recognize its existence. Fear is an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific danger. Some chose to deny the reality of it by keeping it hidden inside of them but logically, to conquer something you firstly need to accept it. There are several factors that can affect the way one deals with fear but most importantly is that the person must have a complete understanding of the fear and be able to map it out before tackling them.


      Grief takes many forms for all of us depending on the circumstances. The emotion of grief usually comes about from losing a loved one and each loss is different, therefore the grief manifested will be experienced in different ways as well. Some cope with the loss of a loved one in a variety of ways and the personality of a person has a lot to do with the process of dealing with grief. Dealing with grief takes time and also the support of your loved ones. It can bring about emotions of shock and pain that can lead to depression or anger but if you are in the hands of the right people then you can fight these emotions and eventually accept what has happened and move on.


      Trauma is an emotional or psychological injury, usually resulting from an extremely stressful situation; being a victim of crime or violence, being involved in a disaster of some kind, witnessing a horrific incident and being abused are all examples of situations that can lead to a traumatic reaction. The emotion of trauma can be suffered by anyone at any age but at an early age can have a devastating effect on the child’s mental stability. Many dealing with trauma seek for some kind of therapy to help them get on the path to recovery which can often be difficult. Factors that can have a big influence in dealing with trauma are again people that you are close to and who care about you.


      Having to deal with these emotions one at a time is far from easy but to deal with all of them at the same time is a monumental task that can only be made easy if you are in the vicinity of family and friends. However, whether it is fear, trauma or grief, after one has dealt with these emotions they tend to come out mentally stronger from their experiences because they have learnt how to bounce back from them.  






ANY criticism is welcome. Be as mean as you can

[brightsky]

Just wondering, is this just an essay written for leisure, or for VCE?

[m@tty]

Well, 'English homework' points to VCE...

[Studyinghard]

This is my ESL homework for "look both ways"

[brightsky]

Essay: How do people deal with fear, trauma and grief? What factors can affect the way that someone copes with all or some of these?

Fear, trauma and grief have very different meanings. Bit too broad.Fear is to be afraid or feel anxious about a possible or probable event. Trauma is an emotional wound or shock which can have a long lasting effect and grief is an event that causes great unhappiness. Defining the words at the very very beginning somehow make the intro lose some relevance.Different people have their own ways of dealing with either or all of these emotions and overcoming them although certain factors can always play a basic and an important role in how one would defeat these feelings.
You could briefly discuss some points in here, before elaborating it in your succeedingparagraphs.
      A famous quote, “a life lived in fear is life half lived”. Fear is the quintessential human emotion. The extent and range of fears varies from person to person. Dealing with fear has its own easy steps. You first need to understand your fear and recognize its existence. Fear is an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific danger. Some chose to deny the reality of it by keeping it hidden inside of them but logically, to conquer something you firstly need to accept it. There are several factors that can affect the way one deals with fear but most importantly is that the person must have a complete understanding of the fear and be able to map it out before tackling them.
Need to discuss the "factors that affect the way someone deals with fear" more. It seemed like you were about to discuss it, but went on to discuss something else.

      Grief takes many forms for all of us depending on the circumstances. Do you mean, "grief takes different forms for everyone depending on the circumstances"?The emotion of grief usually comes about from losing a loved one and each loss is different, therefore the grief manifested will be experienced in different ways as well. Some cope with the loss of a loved one in a variety of ways Discuss what ways.and the personality of a person has a lot to do with the process of dealing with grief. Dealing with grief takes time and also the support of your loved ones. It can bring about emotions of shock and pain that can lead to depression or anger Not entirely relevant.but if you are in the hands of the right people then you can fight these emotions and eventually accept what has happened and move on.


      Trauma is an emotional or psychological injury, usually resulting from an extremely stressful situation; being a victim of crime or violence, being involved in a disaster of some kind, witnessing a horrific incident and being abused are all examples of situations that can lead to a traumatic reaction. The emotion of trauma can be suffered by anyone at any age but at an early age can have a devastating effect on the child’s mental stability. Again, not entirely relevant.Many dealing with trauma seek for some kind of therapy to help them get on the path to recovery which can often be difficult. Factors that can have a big influence in dealing with trauma are again people that you are close to and who care about you.


      Having to deal with these emotions one at a time is far from easy but to deal with all of them at the same time is a monumental task that can only be made easy if you are in the vicinity of family and friends. However, whether it is fear, trauma or grief, after one has dealt with these emotions they tend to come out mentally stronger from their experiences because they have learnt how to bounce back from them. 

I think you need to discuss the topic in more depth. It seemed like you were more reliant, at times, in medical facts, which were sometimes not entirely relevant to the topic at hand. You also need to explore the second part of the question in more detail as well, in lieu of just hinting it in each paragraph.

Also, probably amalgamate some ideas from the film "Look Both Ways" into the essay as well. So include some quotes and concepts, etc. but be careful not to retell the storyline.

[Studyinghard]

Thanks for the tips. Its a bit late but ill try to work on it for a bit . Also I just want to add that there are no quotes from the movie because that is what got told to us. We just got given the question and that watching the movie didn't have anything to do with the response.

[hard]

i think you use to much "dictionary styled" answers in there, be a bit more creative

[Studyinghard]

Fear, trauma and grief are emotions that are completely different from one another.  Different people have their own ways of dealing with either or all of these emotions and overcoming them although certain factors can always play a basic and an important role in how one would defeat these feelings. Some try to drown in their own sorrow and hence fall into a state of depression but others try to fight these feelings by seeking help from professionals.

      A famous quote, “a life lived in fear is life half lived”. Fear is a feeling of anxiety and fearfulness about a possible occurence. It is the quintessential human emotion. The extent and range of fears varies from person to person. Dealing with fear has its own easy steps. You first need to understand your fear and recognize its existence. Fear is an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific danger. Some chose to deny the reality of it by keeping it hidden inside of them but logically, to conquer something you firstly need to accept it. There are several factors that can affect the way one deals with fear but most importantly is that the person must have a complete understanding of the fear and be able to map it out before tackling them. Fear is something that needs to be fought. One needs to have the courage to face their fears and then only will you be able to overcome them.

      Grief is an emotion that causes misery and can take several forms depending on the circumstances. The emotion of grief usually comes about from losing a loved one and each loss is different, therefore the grief manifested will be experienced in different ways as well. Some cope with the loss of a loved one in a variety of ways such as having a mental breakdown or excessive drinking or performing actions that they wouldn’t in a normal state of mind. The personality of a person is a critical factor in how he/she deals with grief. Dealing with grief takes time and also the support of your loved ones. It can bring about emotions of shock and pain that can lead to depression or anger but if you are in the hands of the right people then you can fight these emotions and eventually accept what has happened and move on.

      Trauma is a wound that can have a long and significant psychological effect. Trauma is an emotional or psychological injury, usually resulting from an extremely stressful situation; being a victim of crime or violence, being involved in a disaster of some kind, witnessing a horrific incident and being abused are all examples of situations that can lead to a traumatic reaction. The emotion of trauma can be suffered by anyone at any age but at an early age can have a devastating effect on the child’s mental stability. Many dealing with trauma seek for therapy from a specialist because usually trauma can result in Posttraumatic stress disorder which is a severe anxiety disorder. Having a positive life before having a traumatic encounter is the most important factor in dealing with it.        

Having to deal with these emotions one at a time is far from easy but to deal with all of them at the same time is a monumental task that can only be made easy if you are in the vicinity of family and friends. However, whether it is fear, trauma or grief, after one has dealt with these emotions they tend to come out mentally stronger from their experiences because they have learnt how to bounce back from them.  

Done a bit of editing but kept some parts that you mentioned brightsky that didnt seem right as just to see how it sounds all together. Also changed the definitions a bit. Thanks  

EDIT: btw is the quality of this essay just like horrible for normal ENG?  

[brightsky]

Essay: How do people deal with fear, trauma and grief? What factors can affect the way that someone copes with all or some of these?

Fear, trauma and grief are emotions that are completely different from one another.  Different people have their own ways of dealing with either or all of these emotions and overcoming them although certain factors can always play a basic and an important role in how one would defeat these feelings. Some try to drown in their own sorrow and hence fall into a state of depression but others try to fight these feelings by seeking help from professionals.Much better than last time. The opening statement is still a bit off topic in my opinion. Make sure your opening statement addresses the topic directly.

      A famous quote, “a life lived in fear is life half lived”. I like this.Fear is a feeling of anxiety and fearfulness about a possible occurence. It is the quintessential human emotion. Doesn't fit here. Sounds quite awkward.The extent and range of fears varies from person to person. Ambiguous language.Dealing with fear has its own easy steps. You first need to understand your fear and recognize its existence. Fear is an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific danger. Convoluted language. Doesn't really make sense to me. Don't think it fits here as well.Some chose to deny the reality of it by keeping it hidden inside of them but logically, to conquer something you firstly need to accept it. Bit repetitive from what you've said earlier, but I like the first part of this sentence. Also remember to stay in the same tense all throughout your essay. You seem mostly in present tense, so the word "chose" should be "choose".There are several factors that can affect the way one deals with fear but most importantly is that the person must have a complete understanding of the fear and be able to map it out before tackling them. Fear is something that needs to be fought. One needs to have the courage to face their fears and then only will you be able to overcome them.I think you have an erroneous interpretation of the latter half of the topic.

      Grief is an emotion that causes misery Doesn't really make sense to me. Grief, in essence, is misery. Grief doesn't, in itself, cause misery.and can take several forms depending on the circumstances. The emotion of grief usually comes about from Bad language.losing a loved one and each loss is different, therefore the grief manifested will be experienced in different ways as well. Some cope with the loss of a loved one in a variety of ways such as having a mental breakdown or excessive drinking or performing actions that they wouldn’t in a normal state of mind. Good. These are definitely ways of coping. Although I don't think "mental breakdowns" are self-inflictable.The personality of a person is a critical factor in how he/she deals with grief. YES! That's what the second part of the question is talking about! Elaborate on it.Dealing with grief takes time and also the support of your loved ones. It can bring about emotions of shock and pain that can lead to depression or anger but if you are in the hands of the right people then you can fight these emotions and eventually accept what has happened and move on.

      Trauma is a wound that can have a long and significant psychological effect. Trauma is an emotional or psychological injury, usually resulting from an extremely stressful situation; being a victim of crime or violence, being involved in a disaster of some kind, witnessing a horrific incident and being abused are all examples of situations that can lead to a traumatic reaction. The emotion of trauma can be suffered by anyone at any age but at an early age can have a devastating effect on the child’s mental stability. Way too long a definition. Definitions should only act as a device for readers to have a clearer idea of the key words you use in your essay, but SHOULD NOT act as a large part of your essay. Try and cut it down a bit.Many dealing with trauma seek for therapy from a specialist because usually trauma can result in Posttraumatic stress disorder which is a severe anxiety disorder. Having a positive life before having a traumatic encounter is the most important factor in dealing with it.       

Having to deal with these emotions one at a time is far from easy but to deal with all of them at the same time is a monumental task that can only be made easy if you are in the vicinity of family and friends. However, whether it is fear, trauma or grief, after one has dealt with these emotions they tend to come out mentally stronger from their experiences because they have learnt how to bounce back from them.  This is a good point that answers the second part of the topic. Include it somewhere in the body of your essay. Don't think it "fits" as a concluding statement. Think of a more general statement that can express your overall contention to the topic subtly and in concise form.

[brightsky]

EDIT: btw is the quality of this essay just like horrible for normal ENG? 

I don't think it's too bad. You obviously have a rather sound control of language and an excellent vocabulary as an ESLer. Try reading this, it may help more or less: http://vcenotes.com/forum/index.php/topic,1392.0.html