HSC Stuff > The HSC Journey Journal
Hoping for a HSC Viktory... (hsc '20 journal)
Viktoriak_:
Post trials update.
I had my last exam on Thursday - super stoked trials are over!! :)
Chemistry (my last exam), seemed pretty good. I was looking through 2019 trial papers the day before, and 2 questions I encountered appeared in the test which was very luckyyy
We also got our physics mark back today - I got 77%. Can't say I'm not disappointed, but it was around what I was expecting. Not sure what my final rank is.
So yeah. Heaps of other stuff has happened, just gonna chuck it in a box... sorry for the rant.
SpoilerSo last week we got an email regarding our graduation celebrations. Graduation dinner is cancelled. Only 1 parent is allowed to attend our graduation assembly (i.e. our official graduation), and they have to follow a strict procedure - only come for 15 mins, wear a mask the whole time. Formal was still going ahead but with restricted numbers, max 150 people (even tho our grade has 210 people...).
Today we got an update on all this. No parents to attend the graduation - which will happen in small groups (i.e. w our friends). No formal. Everything's basically cancelled. It just feels so pointless at this stage, like we've been looking forward to it for so long and it's just cancelled.
What gets to me is that we have 1000 people at school, no social distancing, only a few people wear masks. We had a YEAR MEETING today...No social distancing. So if we have all these gatherings at school it seems illogical to say that formal etc. is cancelled because of covid restrictions??
Also the way our principal and deputy were delivering all this info to us during the year meeting was kinda upsetting. They were saying they are doing everything they can to make it good etc., and that this year's graduation celebrations will be EVEN BETTER than any other year. They said the other year's will be jealous of our graduation celebrations. It would've upset me less if they just told us how it is - that it's not gonna be the best, but make the most out of it... But saying that it's gonna be BETTER than previous years feels like they're completely disregarding the situation we're in.
Yeah so everyone was pretty upset today at school.
I don't want to go on complaining though. It is completely out of our control and it's probably safer this way. Also my situation could be a lot worse. I'm sorry if you're reading this from Victoria or elsewhere affected by covid, stay safe and stay strong!
To be honest, I don't really know if I'm upset more about trials (because I don't feel I did that well) or because all our grad stuff has been called off. Either way, I just feel really unmotivated to study...But we still have heaps of content to learn, and I definitely want to start studying for HSC asap (to avoid cramming like I did for trials). I guess I just have to remember that this (i.e. HSC) will all be over soon - literally 8 weeks until HSC starts, then another 3ish weeks of exams then we can chill.
I think it's also important to remember why we're actually doing this. HSC gets us into uni (or whatever you want to pursue in the future), and rn that's the ultimate goal. If we can just keep on track for the next ~2 months then it will make the whole uni thing easier, and I'm sure (despite the official celebrations being cancelled), graduation and finishing exams will still be rewarding.
I'm sorry if this came across as ungrateful or complaining... just needed to get that out.
But yeah not long until the end, just gotta keep working hard and we'll be outta here soon.
Justin_L:
Hey Viktoria,
Congrats on finishing your trials! It really is the endgame now.
Spoilerre: graduation and formal, don't feel sorry for feeling bad, you're totally justified in everything that you said! Hopefully, things improve and the government changes their stance on gatherings.
As for trials, it's not over til it's over, ranks only make up half your mark and it won't hurt to take a break in light of the momentous effort you must have put in. Good luck for everything, you'll come back stronger than ever after all this!
Viktoriak_:
--- Quote from: Justin_L on August 17, 2020, 08:51:10 pm ---Hey Viktoria,
Congrats on finishing your trials! It really is the endgame now.
Spoilerre: graduation and formal, don't feel sorry for feeling bad, you're totally justified in everything that you said! Hopefully, things improve and the government changes their stance on gatherings.
As for trials, it's not over til it's over, ranks only make up half your mark and it won't hurt to take a break in light of the momentous effort you must have put in. Good luck for everything, you'll come back stronger than ever after all this!
--- End quote ---
Hi, thank you for your message, it means a lot :)
You're totally right about trials - ranks are only half and there's still chance to improve.
Not sure if the endgame thing was an Avenger's reference but I couldn't help thinking of Doctor Strange's line hahah
Best of luck with your HSC too!!
Viktoriak_:
27/8/20 --> Burnout???
I was going to wait to update until I have my ranks but I felt I need to make sense of this somehow...
I don't know if I "burntout" or if I came close to it... Last week (i.e. the week after trials) I was super motivated, productive and generally on top of things. This week is the opposite - I've been getting MINIMAL work done, and feeling kinda down.
We got our maths ranks back yesterday and mine wasn't that good (it dropped about 5 ranks), which I expected anyway. Also got my physics rank back - I dropped one rank. I know neither of these aren't that bad but I feel I had this whole expectation set for myself, that by HSC I will be doing so well, that I'll have everything together etc.
And honestly, with the mindset I was in, I don't think any rank would have made me happy - like EVEN IF I got first, I might be upset because we haven't finished the module yet or because I didn't get 100%. Anyway, you get the idea.
Last week was really awesome because I was enjoying my study, I already knew I wasn't going to be happy with my trial marks, but I just let it go and focused on prepping for the HSC. I'm not really sure what happened now, maybe I got overwhelmed with the workload, or just started doubting myself. I mean, we're only up to RELATIVITY in physics, we have an entire module to learn after that. And for both physics and maths I'm basically teaching myself. I've been doing so all year (and year 11), and it's been working! It would obviously be easier if I didn't have to, but I think now I just have to work with what I have - no matter where I'm up to in the syllabus, what teacher I have, or what my ranks are - and try my best.
I really really want to keep with this mindset for the rest of HSC, I just want to try my best, enjoy study, then be content with the fact I put in my best effort. But I still feel a negative attachment to my marks... I understand it's normal to feel upset/disappointed with yourself after a bad mark, but I need to let go of it. I also need to let go of the expectation of a certain ATAR. I keep thinking "if only I studied harder earlier", "if only I...., then I could get a better ATAR". But tbh I tried my best this year (given the circumstances and everything else I had going on), and that should be enough, no matter what number I end up with.
Ok so this is getting really long, but in essence I think I "burntout" because I'm still holding on to expectations and possibilities which I didn't achieve. I just need to let go and try my best, remember why I'm studying and not worry so much about the results.
Easier said then done.
Thank you to anyone that read this, hopefully it serves as a reminder to not be too hard on yourself :)
**I'll update my ranks/marks when I get them all back.
alice343:
I'm feeling the same with you on this post trials 'burn out'. Though I don't think I ever studied hard enough to really 'burn out', my motivation is out the window. It just feels like those last week of term 4 (in past years) when everyone would throw class parties and teachers would let us do 'research'...except there's still content to learn and hsc exams! but all we can do is just keep on moving, so best luck to you and the rest of this hsc journey!!!!
alice : )
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