Uni Stuff > The University Journey Journal

Just a guy in med school

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K888:
Definitely recommend seeing a GP to discuss your mental health. First year uni in particular is usually a huge stressor (without having a global pandemic...add that into the mix and of course your mental health will be impacted!) and is often a time when people reach a mental health crisis (speaking from personal experience here). When I spoke to my GP about my MH issues I found them really understanding (and they knew the stress of studying a course in the health sector). Take care of yourself x

justaloser:
Mid-week update.

Opened up to my tutor about my mental health issues and she was really nice and supportive about it. Also finally booked an appointment with my uni GP and he was surprisingly sensitive about the topic too. Gonna undergo some screening tests next week and then work our way from there.

justaloser:
It's scary that we're already through 1/4 of the Sem. Anatomy of the upper limb has been fully covered.

This week there happened to be no anatomy lectures, which was great for catching up. On Tuesday in specimens they were asking for call-outs of certain muscles and it was actually pretty shocking how I was able to recall them so easily despite being overwhelmed like 2 weeks ago. Apart from that there was a pharmacology lecture, slides on adolescent development (ie. physical changes, social, friendships, risky behaviours, pathologies like obesity) which I found very interesting to read through (can't find the prescribed textbook for it though). There was also a microbiology lecture that was unremarkable.

We had clinical skills this week and that was really overwhelming. Examination of the elbow (alright), wrist (really tough palpating all the carpal bones) and hand (haven't practised this one yet). Hopefully I can grasp it soon enough for whatever exams they might hold soon this year.

No innovations in studying technique. Just trucking on as per usual. I noticed I've stopped using pomodoros as much (did 2x1 hour blocks on Saturday and a couple of 25 mins here and there) so it's harder to record how long I study. Instead I've been using the learning objectives provided by the uni as a scaffold/marker of my progress. Reading on clinical conditions as per usual has allowed me to more easily remember anatomy. For example, this week has had a lot of emphasis on Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and it's helped me to remember which areas of the skin/muscles the median nerve innervates (eg. a severe symptom of CTS is wasting of the thenar muscles below the thumb. Since CTS is compression of the median nerve that's how I can remember that the median nerve innervates the thenar muscles).

Thinking about studying anatomy has also made me less neurotic about the whole deal. The knowledge that I'm not expected to know every single detail and every pathology about it makes me feel more secure about my own knowledge. Sure, I guess it's put less pressure on me to study but I feel better about not knowing things and I'm pretty sure mental health > academics. I'd rather take being told by the tutor to "go do your reading" over having panic attacks right now, because I can always alleviate the former. And the awareness that there's always someone who knows more than me is pretty relieving because I view anatomy more as something constructive rather than a competition (not like I'm good enough to compete either).

Outside of uni nothing really major has happened. Such is socially-distanced life. Some friends and I agreed about how the memories of standout conversations we have are usually anchored in a context -- like an event, place, time -- but now that they occupy the same online space as the mundane conversations, they kind of just blend into that iso blur that people keep talking about. And it really feels that way -- I can't remember anything special about the past 4 months or so, just what I studied, even though I've had some key conversations in that time. I also picked up chess and dragged my friends into it, and even though I always lose, it's good fun and a relaxing way to unwind after tutes. My openings are usually good but I tend to make stupid moves where I let my queen or rook get sniped and it's downhill from there.

I have an appointment with my GP next week and I'm excited mainly because I can finally go through my anxiety with a professional and begin to get things sorted out. Being able to talk to someone about it has made me feel a lot better. Just the catharsis of not having to repress things is great.

Next week is really chill. No anatomy at all, just revision lectures/tutes. Introduction to rural health which is interesting, I remember an older student telling me he actually got to suture in his rural rotations which sounds cool. And the idea of there being fewer people, just you and an attending sounds chill (provided they're not a dick lol).

That's it for the week. Take care.

justaloser:
Minor update.

Got a psych appointment scheduled out but it's a far way away. And I can't help feeling like a fraud constantly and undeserving of my spot right now. It's a deep-rooted issue and I'll try and ride this out for the next few weeks.

A friend got me to download Flora which is basically an app that locks your phone and logs your study period. I've been aware of this sort of app (Forest, which some of my friends use) but never used it. But now that I have it, I've felt more driven to work, managed to clock in 2.5 hours and get some prep for a clinical practice sesh tomo (could be 3 but I want to work out). I feel motivated because I'm trying to follow the lead followed by a friend who studies a lot (I'd call him a beast but I'm wary of idolising people) and in this case it's like looking up to someone and trying to follow their good example rather than trying to compete with them. It's like constructive/realistic comparisons. And I like that the app is objective about time spent studying rather than self-reported. It's pretty cool.

Also my diet is absolute trash, I think I'm gonna cut out all the processed carbs I started eating unmindfully when lockdown 2.0 started. I don't mind eating at a surplus but as long as it's not empty calories like it is now. Dunno how though

homeworkisapotato:
Hey!! I've been reading your journal and I wanted to pop in and say that your journal has been a great read, and you're very very inspiring not just for prospecting med students but also people who are too afraid to reach out for help when they need it  ;D
In regards to changing your diet, check out Poet's amazing article: https://atarnotes.com/forum/index.php?topic=180555.0

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