2005 VCAA Language Analysis

[reverie]

I attempted to write an english language analysis essay to improve my skills. My teacher said that I like to retell a lot, so I tried include more discussion on the impact on the audience. Any feedback would be appreciated . Thanks!

2005 Language Analysis
Emailing and text messaging, or any messages that are sent through digital technology has become an increasingly common trend, especially during Valentine’s Day. Previously, the exchange of handwritten letters or cards was the norm, however, since people learned that online platforms are useful due to their high efficiency and quick speed, eventually online messaging dominated the use of handwriting. The writer of “The Write Stuff…” article, in a chatty yet serious tone, contends that “nothing beats a handwritten letter”, since there are more positives of handwriting compared to online messaging. Whilst remaining chatty, the writer’s tone remains familiar so that the writer can target a like-minded audience which consists of individuals who are contemplating either handwrite or use online messaging to send their Valentine's memos.

From the outset, the writer claims that handwritten memos give rise to one's romantic feelings, hence, persuading the audience to view handwriting as a more suitable option.  A brief poem is provided, stating that "if you SMS me this Valentine's Day… Consider us through!". By stating that the uses of "SMS" lead to a potential breakup, the writer creates a feeling of disbelief over the use of SMS or any tools similar to it with their poem, suggesting that SMS leads to anything but the sprouting of romantic feelings. This spurs the audience, especially those who favor handwritten messages to feel disgusted and ashamed that an individual would choose to risk breaking a potentially long-lasting and meaningful relationship due to their laziness. Also, since the audience sees one's habits of using online messaging being based purely on laziness, their view would be extended to the notion that online messaging conjures no romantic feelings as a lazy person is anything but romantic. Therefore, the audience would be directed to handwrite their Valentine's day messages since they conjure more romantic feelings and are desirable. Strengthening my previous argument, illustrations of a love heart and rose are shown alongside a quill, reinforcing the notion that handwritten memos and Valentine's Day messages go hand in hand since it may engender more romantic feelings. A valentine's message or envelope is depicted as extremely lovey-dovey since it leaves an individual "blushing pink". The amorous connotations of the words "blushing pink" depicts the sender of this letter as a passionate individual who expresses their feelings openly and meaningfully, only leaving the receiver to be mesmerized by the sender's efforts to flirt. This perpetuates the notion that only handwritten messages and not online messages generate romantic feelings. Immediately after the "blush" statement, the writer continues to expand on his statement, accentuating that "a handwritten letter… [leaves] your e-card somewhat pale by comparison". Since the audience's minds have been instilled with the picture that handwritten messages lead to an individual to become smitten, the writer cleverly comments about the dull nature of an e-card so that the audience is more likely to reject the idea of using it since they have just been informed that handwritten letters are the only romantic messages.

Moreover, the writer further supports their contention by implicating that handwritten letter shows that an individual has put more effort and hence the message becomes more significant. The writer adopts a flattering tone in describing the people who have "put their hurried existence on hold long enough to write a letter", proudly commending them and their efforts. Having highlighted the positives of handwriting, coupled with the desirable aspects of an individual who makes the effort to handwrite, this further coaxes the audience to not only have the want to from now on handwriting their messages but also view handwritten messages to become more meaningful since more effort is being put into it. The audience would then feel motivated to write memos, abandoning their ways of online messaging and adopting a more purposeful form of sharing messages. The writer goes further into their contention by suggesting that "we're only too impatient to write letters". Here, the writer uses the inclusive "we" to express that us as an audience, especially the ones who regularly use the online message to feel ashamed that "we" could stoop to such a level that individuals use their "impatience" and laziness as an excuse for them not to write a letter. This belittlement of the audience may allow them to realize that their habits of using electrical communication are a reflection of their little effort into writing a meaningful message since this type of communication represents no genuine emotion, thus is insignificant. The audience's guilt of using online communication may be used as a trigger to encourage them to follow old-fashioned letter writing.
 
Further, experts support the idea of writing letters as they know that this form of communication holds many advantages. Bob Montgomery, Director of Communication provides his expertise, by stating that " [he] doesn't think [that online messaging is] useful in the long run, as it's not good for approaching many tasks and a lot of relationships." Through this, the writer wants to highlight that electrical communication is not beneficial for day to day activities and in fact may even be harmful. By his statement, it would be obvious that since Bob is against online communication, he would be in favor of handwritten letters as it would be instead beneficial in the long-term. Since Bob is an expert in the field of social science, this may compel the audience to trust his advice since he has a credible position. From here, the audience would be more willing to disassociate themselves from technological communication, since they would be fearful of the possibility that such communication can have a counterproductive effect on day-to-day activities and even lead to harmful long-term effects. As a result, the audience would be more obligated to switch their form of communication.

[The Cat In The Hat]

I attempted to write an english language analysis essay to improve my skills. My teacher said that I like to retell a lot, so I tried include more discussion on the impact on the audience. Any feedback would be appreciated . Thanks!

2005 Language Analysis
Emailing and text messaging, or any messages that are sent through digital technology has become an increasingly common trend, especially during Valentine’s Day. Previously, the exchange of handwritten letters or cards was the norm, however, since people learned that online platforms are useful due to their high efficiency and quick speed, eventually online messaging dominated the use of handwriting. The writer of “The Write Stuff…” article, in a chatty yet serious tone, contends that “nothing beats a handwritten letter”, since there are more positives of handwriting compared to online messaging. Whilst remaining chatty, the writer’s tone remains familiar so that the writer can target a like-minded audience which consists of individuals who are contemplating either handwrite or use online messaging to send their Valentine's memos.

From the outset, the writer claims that handwritten memos give rise to one's romantic feelings, hence, persuading the audience to view handwriting as a more suitable option.  A brief poem is provided, stating that "if you SMS me this Valentine's Day… Consider us through!". By stating that the uses of "SMS" lead to a potential breakup, the writer creates a feeling of disbelief over the use of SMS or any tools similar to it with their poem, suggesting that SMS leads to anything but the sprouting of romantic feelings. This spurs the audience, especially those who favor handwritten messages to feel disgusted and ashamed that an individual would choose to risk breaking a potentially long-lasting and meaningful relationship due to their laziness. Also, since the audience sees one's habits of using online messaging being based purely on laziness, their view would be extended to the notion that online messaging conjures no romantic feelings as a lazy person is anything but romantic. Therefore, the audience would be directed to handwrite their Valentine's day messages since they conjure more romantic feelings and are desirable. Strengthening my previous argument, illustrations of a love heart and rose are shown alongside a quill, reinforcing the notion that handwritten memos and Valentine's Day messages go hand in hand since it may engender more romantic feelings. A valentine's message or envelope is depicted as extremely lovey-dovey since it leaves an individual "blushing pink". The amorous connotations of the words "blushing pink" depicts the sender of this letter as a passionate individual who expresses their feelings openly and meaningfully, only leaving the receiver to be mesmerized by the sender's efforts to flirt. This perpetuates the notion that only handwritten messages and not online messages generate romantic feelings. Immediately after the "blush" statement, the writer continues to expand on his statement, accentuating that "a handwritten letter… [leaves] your e-card somewhat pale by comparison". Since the audience's minds have been instilled with the picture that handwritten messages lead to an individual to become smitten, the writer cleverly comments about the dull nature of an e-card so that the audience is more likely to reject the idea of using it since they have just been informed that handwritten letters are the only romantic messages.

Moreover, the writer further supports their contention by implicating that handwritten letter shows that an individual has put more effort and hence the message becomes more significant. The writer adopts a flattering tone in describing the people who have "put their hurried existence on hold long enough to write a letter", proudly commending them and their efforts. Having highlighted the positives of handwriting, coupled with the desirable aspects of an individual who makes the effort to handwrite, this further coaxes the audience to not only have the want to from now on handwriting their messages but also view handwritten messages to become more meaningful since more effort is being put into it. The audience would then feel motivated to write memos, abandoning their ways of online messaging and adopting a more purposeful form of sharing messages. The writer goes further into their contention by suggesting that "we're only too impatient to write letters". Here, the writer uses the inclusive "we" to express that us as an audience, especially the ones who regularly use the online message to feel ashamed that "we" could stoop to such a level that individuals use their "impatience" and laziness as an excuse for them not to write a letter. This belittlement of the audience may allow them to realize that their habits of using electrical communication are a reflection of their little effort into writing a meaningful message since this type of communication represents no genuine emotion, thus is insignificant. The audience's guilt of using online communication may be used as a trigger to encourage them to follow old-fashioned letter writing.
 
Further, experts support the idea of writing letters as they know that this form of communication holds many advantages. Bob Montgomery, Director of Communication provides his expertise, by stating that " [he] doesn't think [that online messaging is] useful in the long run, as it's not good for approaching many tasks and a lot of relationships." Through this, the writer wants to highlight that electrical communication is not beneficial for day to day activities and in fact may even be harmful. By his statement, it would be obvious that since Bob is against online communication, he would be in favor of handwritten letters as it would be instead beneficial in the long-term. Since Bob is an expert in the field of social science, this may compel the audience to trust his advice since he has a credible position. From here, the audience would be more willing to disassociate themselves from technological communication, since they would be fearful of the possibility that such communication can have a counterproductive effect on day-to-day activities and even lead to harmful long-term effects. As a result, the audience would be more obligated to switch their form of communication.

It's written pretty well, but my comments would be that you should work on conciseness (some of it could definitely be reduced) and therefore also just general command of language. Your impact on the audience is good, although it can be improved (they always can). Overall, a pretty good essay.