A Man for All Seasons essay- criticism/feedback

[Chavi]

Hey,

Just wondering if I could get some feedback on a practice essay I wrote
(The essay is in jpg form for download)

The topic is "In what way is the rise and career of Richard Rich deeply ironical?

Any criticism or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance

[spaciiey]

First off, I should say, what an odd topic. I have NEVER seen a topic on only Rich. Yeah, of course it's implying that you compare Rich with More and use the other characters to illustrate Rich's story and so on... but I have never seen a topic like that before.

That aside, ummm I dont find anything wrong with it, if that's what you're asking. I probably would have struggled with this topic, myself.

[Chavi]

The topic came from an old 70's English guide.

On the essay itself, I'm confident that I'm not yet at the standard to sit the November English exam. . .
Surely there must be some problems with the essay?

[spaciiey]

I'd probably be able to tell you better on a topic that addressed the main concerns of the text better... ie, one that focussed on More and/or the Common Man. I'm saying that I couldn't find anything really wrong with it because, well, I dont see anything wrong with it, in that you addressed the topic well and still managed to manoeuvre it to be about More too.

What did your teacher say about this essay?

[Chavi]

My teacher said the essay lacked a fitting conclusion that didn't properly summarize the essay, further adding that there was little mention of other characters.

[spaciiey]

Mmmm, see, I reckon that you should try writing first on topics where it's easier to focus on the main concerns of the text, then maybe try one that focusses more on the Common Man...

The problem with conclusions (and essays, and English in general) is that they're entirely subjective. My teacher told me that if running short of time, he'd rather see another paragraph added to the body of the essay than a conclusion, because more often than not, the conclusion is the introduction, but restated in a more eloquent way.

Try this topic: No matter how much we admire Sir Thomas More, it is the Common Man we can identify with. To what extent is this true?

[simpak]

adding that there was little mention of other characters.

I lol'd.  The question doesn't exactly make room.

[spaciiey]

adding that there was little mention of other characters.

I lol'd.  The question doesn't exactly make room.

which is why i'd said that i couldnt really find anything wrong with it.

[kendraaaaa]

That topic is shit. Do ones from past papers if you haven't already.