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[English] "Don’t blame me, blame Julia Gillard" language analysis

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CaptainAwesome:
This is very strong analysis, and you show a wide vocabulary. Well done.


--- Quote ---In early June 2010, Julia Gillard had scrapped Howard’s unpopular and controversial asylum policy. The incumbent Prime minister then proposed a new legislation that would tackle the core problem and eradicate any future attempts of illegal immigration from outside countries. Since then, the newly integrated relaxed policy has sparked public outrage and has become a contentious and ambivalent issue amongst the Australian public.
--- End quote ---
 

I felt like this information was irrelevant to the analysis.

adelaide.emily10:
Great analysis, you've definitley explained the effect of each technique clearly and succinctly!  :)
you just have few technical errors that can be easily addressed through proofreading. A few times you got a bit wordy, sometimes using simple language should be used to make your writing more understandable if you are unsure how to phrase a sentence.

tea.squaredd:
Good analysis.
Problems that I found ( Might not be 100% correct but its what i think/ how i was taught) :
1) I think your contextualising sentence is a bit too long. I've heard its optional anyway, so it probably wont get you any more marks if its long like yours. Next time make it shorter and to the point as longer wont get you more marks.
2) Apostrophise title. Underline publication source
3) The publication source is The Herald Sun ! Don't do this in the exam ! :P
4)  Bolt arouses curiosity and admiration? Admiration for whom? IF you meant gillard.. Well, isnt Bolt attacking this person? And if you meant Bolt... I dont think it's the right word.
5) The rest are basically picked up by werdna, so props to him.
6) Just IMO, rhetorical questions are easily picked up by anyone. So in the exam, a LOT of the state will use this. To stand out, pick more sophisticated techniques!
7) It is a language ANALYSIS. Don't go saying how effective things are ! Its not language evaluation!

Water:
Lol, haha, yeah, thanks to all the critiques offered. Herald Sun, The Age, yeah, thats a major mistake. in my year 11 exam for mid year, I wrote the contention which was meant to be teacher as student. I think my teacher deducted marks for that.  

I uno, about the admiration, I guess it is used in wrong context, I just used "admiration" because personally, i thought he was brave and secondly, I hate Gillard myself lol.

True to your statement about rheotorical questioning, I was lazy ): and it was easy pick up T_T.


And yeah, language evaluation DURR!!!! Shouldve removed "effectively" what was I thinking!

In regard to contextualizing essay, for the over do part, It took me pretty short time to write it up and I thought over doing it wouldn't be too much of a problem.

CharlieW:
I didn't bother looking at most of the other paragraphs, coz it looks like werdna has done his bit, and he usually does an awesome job.

Just one thing

You're intro doesn't need to be that long, u probs won't get marked down, but under exam conditions, u don't wanna be losing time, especially as u want to aim to finish the media in under 55 minutes for the end of year, so intro could be shortish, less time on contextuatlising.....Also u might need to pinpoint some target audiences, e.g. compassionte or concerned readers, or humanitarian etc.

But by the looks of it u have a strong vocabulary and good expression.
I would say 8/10, and just polish a few things werdna has pointed out, not far off a 9 or a 10.

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