Okay. Well this is an example what my teacher gave us last term. It's not written by me but a variety of year 12 old work. But it gave me a good idea. I wouldn't say it's the best essay example, but there are a few sentences you could take into account and use to blend in your work or something. Still, explore ideas (Y): e.g the media, tv shows ( I used Glee
) it will allow more development in your writing and allow the reader to be intrigued.
PROMPT: “There are costs to the individual in belonging to the group.”1. EXPOSITORYIntroduction: As social animals, human beings like to belong. This is understandable because belonging to a group can, indeed, have immeasurable benefits. Groups tend, however, to be self-policing. They apply criteria for membership and not everyone can fit their criteria. In order to belong, it is necessary to possess certain characteristics, and those who do not are apt to be excluded. So great is the general desire for acceptance and inclusion, however, that the individual may well absorb many costs – both literal and metaphorical – in his/her effort to meet the standards of their particular group or of society at large.
PARAGRAPH ONE – At the simple level, living in mainstream society exacts material costs.
Textual Evidence – Many migrants left oppressive regimes where they were financially disadvantaged, but their decision to immigrate to Australia still left them struggling and making sacrifices. Ray Wing-Lun’s “Lessons from my school years” portrays a family working hard to better their financial situation, first by establishing a fruit shop and then a restaurant to fulfil all of their filial duties. Others also explained their duties: In Lily Chan’s “Take Me Away, Please”, the whole family worked long hours in their Chinese take away shop, and in Diem Vo’s “Family Life”, her mother “sewed in factories or at home she would sew into the early hours of the morning”.
PARAGRAPH TWO – Living in society also implies an obligation to abide by the rule of law, at whatever cost.
Textual Evidence - In her poem “Be Good, Little Migrant” Uyen Loewald suggests that migrants are observed to stay well within the boundaries of the law, to keep violence within their culture and “teach children respect for institutions”.
PARAGRAPH THREE – More pervasive still is the need to observe those social codes that entail obedience to broad community standards that arae not a matter of individual choice.
Textual Evidence – In Francis’ “Are you different?” she raises her adopted son along the lines of what she perceives to be in accordance with societal expectations, only to be criticised for ignoring her heritage.
PARAGRAPH FOUR – In some cases, the costs of conforming to the expectations of a social group may involve denying or surrendering the very qualities that lie at the heart of the individual.
Textual Evidence – Ivy Tseng (“Chinese Lessons”) ignored her parents’ language, concentrating on speaking English at school, where she needed a sense of belonging, however, she lost a special connection with her parents, particularly her father, with whom, she struggled to communicate.
CONCLUSION: To belong or not to belong is not really a question for most people. The urge to find support and security within some form of group (social, familial or cultural) is, for the majority, a deep-seated impulse. In seeking to satisfy this impulse, however, the individual is inevitably forced to make numerous compromises. These may be at the relatively uncomplicated level of meeting material or legal requirements, or they may reach further into issues of conformity with the codes of behaviour alien or antithetical to the individual. Whatever the case may be, belonging to a group invariably comes at a personal cost.
2. PERSUASIVE RESPONSEIntroduction: Bruce Dawe has suggested that “no society which wants to remain healthy” can ignore the fact that “each of us is both a private person and a public person”. Nevertheless, it is apparent that the rights of the individual are under threat in the modern world. Accordingly, the individual must – it seems – surrender some part of the private dimension of the self in order to meet the requirements of the public domain. There are – indeed – costs to the individual in belonging to the social order, but it could also be claimed that society is diminished by an insistence of conformity.
PARAGRAPH ONE – It is apparent that some individuals find themselves marginalised because of extremities of behaviour or appearance.
Textual evidence – Concern for the marginalised permeates the whole of Pung’s anthology. A specific example is Aditi Gouvernel’s “Wei-Lei and Me”, where she relates how her dark appearance meant that she was shunned at school. It was as though she “carried and infection (which her school peers’) immune system couldn’t fight”.
PARAGRAPH THREE – Others may experience discrimination and disadvantage as a consequence of their race or culture.
Textual evidence – In “Family Life”, Diem Vo recognises that her Vietnamese parents “were not equipped to participate fully in their new country”.
PARAGRAPH FOUR – In some cases, personal freedom is challenged at the level of civil rights.
Textual evidence – In “Lessons from my school years”, Ray Wing-Lun experiences institutional racism, where the Australian teacher claims that Chinese people “are worthless and shouldn’t be part of the school. They should be all sent back on a slow boat to China”. The right to learn in an affirming and safe environment has been violated.
PARAGRAPH FIVE – Alternative view
Even if there is an infringement of the rights of the individual, what does it matter? What – we might ask – does society lose in losing diversity? An analogy from biology suggests thae answer is society itself. It is generally regarded as healthy for an ecosystem to incorporate diversity. When an ecosystem is too narrowly specialised, it renders itself vulnerable. A gene pool that is not replenished be fresh input is apt to display dysfunction. The same can be said about society. If we value tolerance and the exchange of views, we need – similarly – to value the diversity that makes such things possible. A society of sameness – like the worlds envisaged in Nineteen Eighty Four or represented historically by Hitler’s Germany or Stalin’s USSR – becomes a society of repression and brutality.
CONCLUSIONWhether at the level of the strictly personal – as, for instance, in the area of physical appearance – or at the level of broader social concerns such as cultural difference and civic rights, society needs to respect the attributes and rights of the individual. This is not only for the sake of the individual but for the benefit of society as well. When the individual is entirely subordinated in the requirements of social conformity, both private and public welfare suffer.
3. IMAGINATIVE RESPONSEWrite from the perspective of Jenny Kee’s “A Big Life”, after she leaves her school and rejects her traditional Chinese values for the sake of a sense of belonging to the youth culture of the time.
The Form Four formal held in the darkened school’s hall was the highlight of my year. I danced late and long to Chubby Checker’s “Let’s twist again”, while the coloured streamers hanging from the ceiling swayed in the breeze coming through the open door – some balloons skimmed silently through the open windows and into the night sky. It was hot. All of us, young and vibrant, belonged to only one culture, the fleeting culture of youth, with its freedom and deluted sense of immortality. The night finished with the record player vibrating to “Runaway” and everyone in the hall had the urge to do exactly that, together, to run along the beach and to keep running.
Next year, I enrolled at East Sydney Technical College to study dress design. I spent my days creating patterns, cutting coloured pieces of material, struggling to stitch them together, to somehow make a coherent whole - something someone could wear with pride. Lat at night, I would return to my parents’ home, my Chinese family, my arms full of bits and pieces of material as homework. Most nights, frustrated by my clunsiness, I would hand the straps of material to my mother, while I sat closely by, learning, watching her seamlessly stitch the pieces together, carefully and lovingly, as only she knew how....
Yeah hope that really helped!
And oh I really don't know how to send your guys stuff through this forum :S soo I'll just post it here.
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