VCE Stuff > VCE English & EAL
language analysis criticism
melanie.dee:
ps. what do i need to do to make it a solid 9 rather than an 8?
i can correct other peoples work, but i cant seem to fix my own haha.
BA22:
--- Quote from: "melanie.dee" ---ps. what do i need to do to make it a solid 9 rather than an 8?
i can correct other peoples work, but i cant seem to fix my own haha.
--- End quote ---
I'd really like to see you pick some phrases in particular, and spend an extra sentence really looking at the subtle implications. I realise you did this at some points, but i'd like to see more of it. There were also some expression issues where you can come accross as a little vague, which is a shame since you generally have excellent control of the english language.
Your response was excellent mel, it would more than likely obtain you a 9, but i'm making sure you focus on improvement and achieving more. With a tightened control of expression and a deep examination of the subtlety of the piece and you will obtain 10, from both examiners
bilgia:
it looks pretty long..but i havent read it yet
edit: now that i have...i must say its pretty good (liked the use of some words lik..garner and vilifying). however there were some better phrases which i had thought of while reading but this is solid stuff. keep it up
i would give it 8-9/10
melanie.dee:
thanks a lot for your feedback!
i sent it to two teachers. my notoriously easy marking teacher... "amazing, easily a 10!" ahhaha and then another one who said the same sort of thing as you BA22, more specific references needed, she gave it a 9.
there you go, the reason i sent it to 2 different ones ha. my teacher marks sooo easily its crazy. but ill hope its 9 anyway lol.
avogarbro:
can someone show me an example of a conclusion.
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