Arranged Marriages vs Love Marriages

[paulsterio]

'in countries like Iraq where the nation is fraught with war, deception and corruption, it is inappropriate to engage in love marriages, due to the unstable social structure of the environment. Arranged marriages are virtually the only means of finding a decent, non extremist partner. Discuss'

So are you implying that someone can't lie and portray a false picture of themself in order to attract a girl/guy's parents and family?

[TheRajinator]

Is when two people meet on their marriage day considered forced marriage or arranged marraige lol.

[paulsterio]

Is when two people meet on their marriage day considered forced marriage or arranged marraige lol.

Almost definitely forced marriage because you can't exactly refuse either, but probably not as extreme as a forced forced marriage, if you know what I mean.

[Mr Keshy]

Almost definitely forced marriage because you can't exactly refuse either, but probably not as extreme as a forced forced marriage, if you know what I mean.

Yeah because the angry main guy will burst into the wedding hall just before the couple tie the knot. (People who watch indian movies will know what I'm on about hah)

I'd escape the country if I were put in a situation like that.

[nisha]

Has anyone read, "A Thousand Splendid Suns"?

I'd escape the country if I were put in a situation like that.

Its not so easy, kid. Those men have a reputation over there, family, shit they might actually care about. And moving to a non-extremist world could be difficult to someone that is accostomed to that lifestyle.

[Mr Keshy]

Has anyone read, "A Thousand Splendid Suns"?
Its not so easy, kid. Those men have a reputation over there, family, shit they might actually care about. And moving to a non-extremist world could be difficult to someone that is accostomed to that lifestyle.

I know I know, I was messing about. But does it still happen a lot today? I imagine not, but who knows..

[FlorianK]

So your parents want to choose and you accept.
So why are they not ok with you choosing and they accepting?

I reckon then latter is the usual one in 'upper'-class white families, as the parents have a big say as well. I mean it is quite obvious that I want a girl that my parents would accept as well.

In the second option your parents would still be the decicion makers, but they wouldn't need to search for the right chick. Win for you and win for your parents.

They say that it's MUCH more compatible. But I admit my mum is quite biased because she wants someone with whom she can relate in Sinhala (her English is not great). However, I see her (and my sister's) point in that it is less risky. Whilst inter-racial relationships may work, a culture clash, especially where one or both cultures entrench contradicting beliefs and values, is quite likely and is hard to weather I imagine.

Shouldn't you know from Med that the idea of cross-species genetics would make your child even more awesome than you (if even possible). You should actually try using that point once :p

It's shameful for me as a guy too.. I just don't like the idea of having more than one girlfriend in my life.. Neither do I want to have a girlfriend with a previous relationship either.

How should be multiple relationships be shameful? I mean if you'd say one-night-stands, I'd understand you, but how can you find the right one without trying?
And on a very different point. Let's say you meet a girl and she is the one, wouldn't you want to rock her world?

my mum thinks that getting 40 is not that hard

I don't judge your mom on this point. As you stated Lankan parents lie about their children's scores and you got freakin 6 scaled 50s. When then thinks that you should have a girl whose scores are above 40 I kinda understand her in a way, that she wants her to be kinda on your level.
I mean for partying ok, but for anything beyond that I don't really like interacting with people, which I am significantly smarter than (trust me I tried to make it sound less cocky) or those who don't care about school.

I can't speak Sinhala. Or understand it.

Didn't you speak in Sinhala to your mum at the tute? Or do you like put on a thick accent when you speak to her?




In essence, I guess I am, and many others are as well, quite heavily influenced and shaped by the upbringing of their parents, which most certainly entails that girls I date, [and I reckon it was with your girl as well], will be for sure girls my parents would accept as well.

[Mr Keshy]

So your parents want to choose and you accept.
So why are they not ok with you choosing and they accepting?

I reckon then latter is the usual one in 'upper'-class white families, as the parents have a big say as well. I mean it is quite obvious that I want a girl that my parents would accept as well.

In the second option your parents would still be the decicion makers, but they wouldn't need to search for the right chick. Win for you and win for your parents.

Shouldn't you know from Med that the idea of cross-species genetics would make your child even more awesome than you (if even possible). You should actually try using that point once :p
How should be multiple relationships be shameful? I mean if you'd say one-night-stands, I'd understand you, but how can you find the right one without trying?
And on a very different point. Let's say you meet a girl and she is the one, wouldn't you want to rock her world?
I don't judge your mom on this point. As you stated Lankan parents lie about their children's scores and you got freakin 6 scaled 50s. When then thinks that you should have a girl whose scores are above 40 I kinda understand her in a way, that she wants her to be kinda on your level.
I mean for partying ok, but for anything beyond that I don't really like interacting with people, which I am significantly smarter than (trust me I tried to make it sound less cocky) or those who don't care about school.
Didn't you speak in Sinhala to your mum at the tute? Or do you like put on a thick accent when you speak to her?




In essence, I guess I am, and many others are as well, quite heavily influenced and shaped by the upbringing of their parents, which most certainly entails that girls I date, [and I reckon it was with your girl as well], will be for sure girls my parents would accept as well.

I don't know I was the only one who did that, whenever I speak to my uncles in English, I put on AMA accent

[paulsterio]

Has anyone read, "A Thousand Splendid Suns"?

Yes, I have, and also The Kite Runner, they're both really good books with amazing storylines!

Didn't you speak in Sinhala to your mum at the tute? Or do you like put on a thick accent when you speak to her?

I'm claiming it'd be Singlish

It's shameful for me as a guy too.. I just don't like the idea of having more than one girlfriend in my life.. Neither do I want to have a girlfriend with a previous relationship either.

You're talking about a relationship, yet treating it like the end of the world. How is it even shameful? I just don't understand your reasoning and logic behind that, you're not even talking about multiple marraiges, you're talking about multiple relationships.

Btw, good luck finding a girl who hasn't had a previous relationship. (I'm serious, it'll be hard).

[Mr Keshy]

Yes, I have, and also The Kite Runner, they're both really good books with amazing storylines!

I'm claiming it'd be Singlish

You're talking about a relationship, yet treating it like the end of the world. How is it even shameful? I just don't understand your reasoning and logic behind that, you're not even talking about multiple marraiges, you're talking about multiple relationships.

Btw, good luck finding a girl who hasn't had a previous relationship. (I'm serious, it'll be hard).

Don't worry, I realised I was going about it in the wrong way anyway. It's more of a shame to the family I think, not being with someone with a past, but breaking up with them in the first place.

But I know they'll understand since they've been here for a while.

I should just focus on VCE now I think, got a few years to worry about this. haha

[paulsterio]

Don't worry, I realised I was going about it in the wrong way anyway. It's more of a shame to the family I think, not being with someone with a past, but breaking up with them in the first place.

But I know they'll understand since they've been here for a while.

I should just focus on VCE now I think, got a few years to worry about this. haha

Hahah, yeah, look, I know we all have preferences and certain things which might be important to one person may not be important to someone else, it's a matter of preference, I know what you mean, but of course, it'll be hard finding someone who has never had a boyfriend (or a "past" as you call it).

Breaking up with someone, idk, what if you get dumped, haha, can't do anything about that hey?

But yeah, look, you do have a while, and either way, there are heaps of people who go through all of highschool being relationship-virgins, so don't worry!

[DJing]

I mean for partying ok, but for anything beyond that I don't really like interacting with people, which I am significantly smarter than (trust me I tried to make it sound less cocky) or those who don't care about school.

Hahahahaha love this!!! So true yet so difficult to express without 'moral high ground-ers' ripping you a new one...and all this time I felt guilty for sharing a similar sentiment

That said, there's no need not to be courteous, it's just that given the choice, inane conversations would be limited.

[paulsterio]

Hahahahaha love this!!! So true yet so difficult to express without 'moral high ground-ers' ripping you a new one...and all this time I felt guilty for sharing a similar sentiment

That said, there's no need not to be courteous, it's just that given the choice, inane conversations would be limited.

It's a hard concept to understand, but I guess a nice way of putting it would be that the person shares your intellect, or that the person thinks similarly to you do...etc.

"Smartness" is a hard concept to define, but I understand what you mean though Florian.

[PaniPuriTime]

Yeah, a lot of Indian families came here so that their kids could avoid that obsession with education. Certainly glad I'm not part of it. All my cousins there do is study

lol my parent "said" they came here for that purpose but still...they say that india's education system is wayyy better