AN German Club??

[Willba99]

Right guys!
Now that we're starting to get down into the pointy end of the year, i was wondering if there were any German speakers/Year 12's/general bored people who wanted to start helping each other out with german? specifically, I think it'd be a great idea if people posted any german written pieces they had here for critique/correction! I'm not sure how many people on AN do german but I thought I'd give this a shot anyway

[clarke54321]

Right guys!
Now that we're starting to get down into the pointy end of the year, i was wondering if there were any German speakers/Year 12's/general bored people who wanted to start helping each other out with german? specifically, I think it'd be a great idea if people posted any german written pieces they had here for critique/correction! I'm not sure how many people on AN do german but I thought I'd give this a shot anyway

Absolutely! I'd love to expand the German community on AN

[lmhen123]

I think this is a great idea especially since exams are fast approaching. I'm currently doing year 12 German. I don't have any essays/writing pieces for correction but I would be happy to help out/give suggestions to anyone who wants to share their pieces.

[Willba99]

Great to see some replies! Wasn't sure if I'd get any.

I don't have any pieces either but I was planning on writing a newspaper article (only ~300 words) at some point across the weekend so I'll post it when i do!

[strawberries]

Willing to help!

I did German for VCE 2 years ago, and I've forgotten quite a bit but willing to provide help if anyone asks

[Alter]

Got a 39 raw in 2015 and I've continued German at uni up until now so I'm very much happy to help out where I can, too!

[Willba99]

Seeing as there's been such a positive reply I thought i may as well post something:

for our detailed study we have to write a ~300 word newspaper article about the Stasi. Below is my current draft, which has been partially corrected by my teacher for grammar. if you could give feedback about either the language or the content then thanks very much!!

Was war die Stasi?
Eine kurze Zusammenfassung
Michael Fischer, 18.07.1996

Für viele Bürger des Bundesrepublik schien das Leben der DDR-Bürger unergründlich. Der Kommunismus, der Mangel an Redefreiheit und der Mangel an Reisefreihet bedeuteten, dass die DDR ganz anders war. Die Organisation, die diese Unterscheide durchsetze, war die Stasi.

Die Stasi war der Geheimdienst und die Geheimpolizei der DDR. Sie wurde im Jahr 1950 gegründet und heißt „das Ministerium für Staatsicherheit.“ Im Jahr 1989, ihr letztes Jahr, hatten sie 89,000 offizielle und mehr als 150,000 inoffizielle Mitarbeiter. Aber was machten sie?

Die Stasi beobachtete die DDR-Bürger. Sie interessierte sich über Menschen, die das Volk beeinflussen könnten: Musiker, Regisseure und Lehrer. Egal ob sie etwas illegalen oder nicht machten, durfte die Stasi sie beobachten. Sie folgten den Menschen ließen Mikrofone in ihren Wohnungen installieren. Danach konnten sie alles, was sie hörten, aufschreiben. Heute wissen wir, dass die Stasi Millionen von Unterlagen hatten. Wenn die Stasi glaubte, dass jemand etwas gegen der DDR macht/plant, benutzte sie ihre bekannte Methode der „Zersetzung“. Sie gingen in Wohnungen und machten kleine Dinge: sie bewegte Stühlen, zum Beispiel. Außerdem zerstörteten sie etwas Ehen. Sie hofften, dass die Menschen etwas illegales machen würden, so dass die Stasi sie verhaften könnte.

Nachdem die Stasi jemanden verhaftet hatte, wurden die Menschen in ein Untersuchungsgefängnis, wie zum Beispiel Hohenschönhausen gebracht.
Hohenschönhausen war in der DDR nur ein weißer Fleck auf den Karten. Doch war sie eine Gefängnis und ein Verhörzentrum. Hohenschönhausen war für die Gefangene schrecklich. Es gab Zellen, wo man für Stunden in kaltem Wasser stehen musste. Nach 1970 gab es neue Regeln, aber Hohenschönhausen war noch immer furchtbar. Die Gefangene durften nur in der Nacht schlafen, aber die Verhöre waren auch nachts. Deshalb konnten die Gefangene nicht schlafen. Schlafenzug war auch eine Methode, die die Stasie benutzte, wenn sie Gefangene zu sprechen zwingen wollte

Dankbar existiert die Stasi nie mehr. Sie wurde nach dem Mauerfall aufgelöst. Heute ist das Stasibüro ein Museum, das jeder besuchen kann.

[Alter]

Die Stasi beobachtete die DDR-Bürger. Sie interessierte sich über Menschen, die das Volk beeinflussen könnten: Musiker, Regisseure und Lehrer.

Just had a quick skim, did you mean 'konnten' here? The difference isn't distinguishable in English because 'could' is also the past tense of 'can', but here you should be trying to refer to the simple past of können (i.e. konnten), instead of the subjunctive "würden + können --> könnten", because the musicians etc WERE capable of influencing people then. Hope this makes sense but if your teacher says otherwise then disregard this.

Also great job, looks like you've gone over it and you've got some great additions such as relative clauses. It might be worth considering trying to mix up the type of past tense that you use sometimes instead of just having simple past. Some people argue that you shouldn't interchange between the two in the same prose, but tbh that's quatsch. Imo some verbs sound better with the auxiliary + past participle combination, and it also helps keep the flow fresh. 

You mentioned it's for your detailed study, but do you actually plan on using this as oral material, or is it simply a written project for your class?

[Willba99]

Just had a quick skim, did you mean 'konnten' here? The difference isn't distinguishable in English because 'could' is also the past tense of 'can', but here you should be trying to refer to the simple past of können (i.e. konnten), instead of the subjunctive "würden + können --> könnten", because the musicians etc WERE capable of influencing people then. Hope this makes sense but if your teacher says otherwise then disregard this.

Also great job, looks like you've gone over it and you've got some great additions such as relative clauses. It might be worth considering trying to mix up the type of past tense that you use sometimes instead of just having simple past. Some people argue that you shouldn't interchange between the two in the same prose, but tbh that's quatsch. Imo some verbs sound better with the auxiliary + past participle combination, and it also helps keep the flow fresh. 

You mentioned it's for your detailed study, but do you actually plan on using this as oral material, or is it simply a written project for your class?

Fair point! i was using könnten deliberately, but now that i think about it, the simple past form (konnten) makes much more sense.

Well we have a writing SAC on the Stasi and I was also planning on choosing the Stasi as the topic for my detailed study in the exam so I'm just writing this to get some sentences in my head really! Also just as a practice in writing, my grammar's been dropping off a bit lately.