(Mods, delete if not allowed, as it is a post-VCE journal)
Last year, in 2020, I graduated from high school in Bendigo, with an ATAR of 53.35. A conditional scholarship offer at LaTrobe University was cancelled, and I had no where else to go. My plans of becoming a secondary school teacher, to work alongside the men and women who have shaped the lives of thousands of alumni, future students and students, including myself, have been scrapped, in the haze and unpredictability of a teenage life.
I don't blame anyone but myself for this unfortunate blunder, which was 13 years in the making. I started out as a decent student, with an interest for learning. Highschool came along, and I still enjoyed learning about everything that was taught... yet my marks weren't sitting on the average or above average range. They just withered and trailed behind. At the start of every year, of every semester, of every term, of every week, of every day and of every SAC, I told myself that I've studied hard and done well to get where I am...
Yet I can't seem to break through the mold. I loved writing, and still do to this day. I help out with a local youth magazine, working as a chief editor, and helping others with their own articles, poems and stories...
I scored an 18 in English Language, placing in the Bottom 2% of the entire state.
I always really enjoyed learning about history, of ancient civilizations, how many people lived their own lives, what cultures and people helped shaped the world we live in today...
My exam score was a D, and none of my SAC scores were above 60%.
So why is it that someone like me can't seem to get the grasp of learning? Why do I waste so many hours of studying when I'm not gonna get anything through my head and put it down on paper effectively? Questions I'm not even sure about, yet I'm still asking, almost 12 months after finishing my studies all together...