How university works

[Orson]

Adding on to that question...is there always that one person or a few people who just don't seem to make friends?
I feel that's gonna be me haha

Also, this is probably a stupid question...but do people judge you based on the course you're doing?

Lastly, how hard is uni compared to VCE? Personally, I didn't find VCE that hard but I'm scared because I hear all these uni kids who seem all stressed out. And how hard is it to get HDs? Especially if you got a low ATAR...

Same here. I'll just be that one guy who sits on his own. If someone 'judges' me on my course, I wouldn't care because that's not the kind of person I wanna be friends with anyway, if you know what I mean.

Apart from camps and clubs and getting more deeply involved in social life, I guess you just... like... shock horror... talk to people.  Walk up to people you've seen a bit or people near you in lectures, say hi and introduce yourself, and chat for a bit (you know, the weather, the current state of the economy, the cute girl in the corner, and so on ).  Then like say hi next time you meet them, and so on.  ... and try and remember their names LOL.

That's gonna be pretty hard for me...

[pi]

Also, this is probably a stupid question...but do people judge you based on the course you're doing?

Kinda touched upon this in the question "I actually didn't get the ATAR I wanted and am not where I wanted to be. Are people going to judge me? Can I transfer to my #1 preference?", so check that out too!

Ideally I'd like to say no, but the truth is that some people do judge and those people suck. For example, difficult to get through a week on StalkerSpace without someone making a "all Arts students end up working at Maccas" joke. Ignore those people, just do your own thing, you'll be right.

Lastly, how hard is uni compared to VCE? Personally, I didn't find VCE that hard but I'm scared because I hear all these uni kids who seem all stressed out. And how hard is it to get HDs? Especially if you got a low ATAR...

Really depends. I found uni to be much more challenging, mainly because the shear amount of content just dumped on VCE from day 1 (we covered the unit 3 bio course in like 1 week?). Having said that, it was endlessly more interesting than VCE (which was for the most part, just a means to get my ATAR) and that made up for the challenge.

That's gonna be pretty hard for me...

Uni is the perfect time to turn that around!

It's very commonplace for jaffys to intro themselves to randoms in the first couple of weeks, especially during O-week tours and stuff! Intro yourself, say you're new, grab their name, chat about random crap (what course, where they're from, how the cricket has been going, why stormtroppers are white when black would obviously make for better camouflage, etc etc.), maybe check out a few clubs together, maybe get a cheeky fb add. Too easy worst comes to worst, hit up tinder LOL

If you come to the AN meet hopefully when you're on campus there should be a couple of friendly familiar faces too! I've made some awesome mates over AN, kept in touch for over 4 years now, wouldrecommend/10.

[99.90 pls]

There's this UoM Science Society O-camp going on, i've heard mixed reviews about it:

Is it true that the majority of kids going there are going with the intention of getting laid/getting smashed? :/

Using the :\ face to mask your unbridled euphoria, classic

For example, difficult to get through a week on StalkerSpace without someone making a "all Arts students end up working at Maccas" joke.

Yeah fuck's sake, people need to realise that Arts students actually have heaps of pathways, if not more than other degrees. Maccas, KFC, Spearmint Rhino...

[heids]

That's gonna be pretty hard for me...

*late reply, and wow, sorry, I really don't know what happened here, I started to type and ended up with an entire novel's worth of waffle...

I totally get where you’re coming from, because I come from the most antisocial family on earth.  I'm the most 'sociable' of the bunch, but I've still grown up with the hugest fear of talking to people.  But I’ve been focusing on breaking away from that family stereotype and belief that 'I'm just not a normal person and I just don't make friends well' in the last year, so I can now pretty naturally walk up to anyone.  You can totally change with effort and practice, I promise!  Starting fresh at uni is the awesomest opportunity to change

I find it easier if you ‘plan beforehand’ with a bunch of conversation starters.  Make a list of ways you could start, what you could talk about, and questions you could ask.  Literally write them down, practise saying them casually in the mirror

so now when I come up to you at the meet and start with 'Hey Orson, I'm bangali...' you'll know that I said it fourteen times in the mirror before coming, jks jks

You could start conversations with a plain intro (‘Hi, I’m ___, I’ve seen you round lately a bit’) or asking for something (‘is this seat free’, ‘excuse me, can you just move a bit so I can plug my cord in that powerpoint’), or just casually mentioning something you’re both facing (‘man, this bus is a bit late!’) or striking up something random (‘these coffees are the best ever’, ‘I like your necklace’, ‘wow, Marsh seriously deserves to be dropped dontcha think?’, 'I saw you with a stethoscope and wondered what course you were doing').  Following up with a casual ‘Btw, I’m ___, nice to meet you’ helps the conversation go on.

Remember to ask open-ended (not yes/no) questions about them and being interested in what they are doing.  But be ready to do your own talking if they’re the sort that just mumbles ‘Yeah, uni is… um… okay.’

Even if you don’t feel confident, really work on the body language, fake it till you make it.  An awkward shuffle-low-down-panther-slink-with-three-awkward-skips as you walk up looks a bit… well, awkward.

So before starting, remember to look ‘em in the eyes andsmile.  Then pull your shoulders back, head up, chest forward a bit, hand out or at least away from your chest.  Just walking ‘openly’ and confidently and with a big smile makes you look and feel more confident.

The other important thing: if you’re not sure whether to walk up or not, just do it.  Don’t even debate.  If you haven’t made eye contact and started to walk up or talk within five seconds, you’re never going to do it.  Just START in a snap decision, then it gets easier from there.

Oh, and, think it through.  What’s the worst-case scenario?  That someone looks awkward and wants to get away from you.  In reality, they’re probably just shy and scared too – or sometimes someone just doesn’t want to talk right now; it’s no big deal.  Seriously, believe me.  You’re the only one that cares about yourself and how you look - everyone else is focused on themselves and how they look

Tell me how you’re going to look stupid.  Think about times when people have come up and talked to you.  Were you like ‘What a stupid guy!?!’?  Or were you actually quite happy to have someone come and start it off for you?  If you strike up conversation, the other person will probably be quite relieved or happy!

I reckon about 10% of the world are natural extroverts, but for the rest of us, it's super awkward.  Don't feel like everyone else can do it easy and you're clueless.

Conclusion : Going to a new setting, you have the perfect opportunity to break out of your old box.   No one knows you – you can set yourself up as a totally casual and friendly person, which is way easier than changing your perceived persona in an already established setting (like school).  That's exactly what I've found for myself this year!
...

That was Bangali, your top social adviser and life coach.  For more equally lengthy life-transforming social wisdom, tune in next Wednesday at 9.00am for the next episode.

whoops

[99.90 pls]

*late reply, and wow, sorry, I really don't know what happened here, I started to type and ended up with an entire novel's worth of waffle...

I totally get where you’re coming from, because I come from the most antisocial family on earth.  I'm the most 'sociable' of the bunch, but I've still grown up with the hugest fear of talking to people.  But I’ve been focusing on breaking away from that family stereotype and belief that 'I'm just not a normal person and I just don't make friends well' in the last year, so I can now pretty naturally walk up to anyone.  You can totally change with effort and practice, I promise!  Starting fresh at uni is the awesomest opportunity to change

I find it easier if you ‘plan beforehand’ with a bunch of conversation starters.  Make a list of ways you could start, what you could talk about, and questions you could ask.  Literally write them down, practise saying them casually in the mirror

so now when I come up to you at the meet and start with 'Hey Orson, I'm bangali...' you'll know that I said it fourteen times in the mirror before coming, jks jks

You could start conversations with a plain intro (‘Hi, I’m ___, I’ve seen you round lately a bit’) or asking for something (‘is this seat free’, ‘excuse me, can you just move a bit so I can plug my cord in that powerpoint’), or just casually mentioning something you’re both facing (‘man, this bus is a bit late!’) or striking up something random (‘these coffees are the best ever’, ‘I like your necklace’, ‘wow, Marsh seriously deserves to be dropped dontcha think?’, 'I saw you with a stethoscope and wondered what course you were doing').  Following up with a casual ‘Btw, I’m ___, nice to meet you’ helps the conversation go on.

Remember to ask open-ended (not yes/no) questions about them and being interested in what they are doing.  But be ready to do your own talking if they’re the sort that just mumbles ‘Yeah, uni is… um… okay.’

Even if you don’t feel confident, really work on the body language, fake it till you make it.  An awkward shuffle-low-down-panther-slink-with-three-awkward-skips as you walk up looks a bit… well, awkward.

So before starting, remember to look ‘em in the eyes andsmile.  Then pull your shoulders back, head up, chest forward a bit, hand out or at least away from your chest.  Just walking ‘openly’ and confidently and with a big smile makes you look and feel more confident.

The other important thing: if you’re not sure whether to walk up or not, just do it.  Don’t even debate.  If you haven’t made eye contact and started to walk up or talk within five seconds, you’re never going to do it.  Just START in a snap decision, then it gets easier from there.

This. This so much. Just adding in my two cents...

This stuff is like weight-training; you can't do it all at once. It's a skillset you have to learn, which means you have to practice constantly and consistently. Set yourself goals which increment in small steps. For instance, you could say to yourself:

Week 1 - Whenever you're walking down the street you're going to look every single person you pass in the eyes. Just try to catch their gaze. This isn't weird if you do it right. If they don't look at you at all or they look at you but then avert their eyes quickly, then you look away as well. However, if you exchange a meaningful glance with someone (i.e. neither of you look away for a few seconds), just give them a friendly smile and keep walking.
Week 2 - Same as Week 1, but smile AND say 'Morning', 'Hi' or 'How are ya' if you exchange a meaningful glance with someone.
Week 3 - When you're at the bus stop or train station, if you exchange a meaningful glance with someone who just looks like they're idling, smile, say 'Hey'. Then just ask them for the time. Then just say thanks. Simple as that. Doesn't sound too bad, right?
Week 4 - This time, when you're waiting for the bus or train, if you exchange a meaningful glance, instead of asking for the time, make a comment on the surroundings, what they're wearing, time of day, weather (only if the weather is extreme, otherwise this can sound a bit forced) etc, and then use that comment as a springboard to launch into a conversation.
Week 5 - Same as Week 4, but you don't necessarily have to exchange a meaningful glance to start a convo. As long as they're idling, go for it.
Week 6 - Same as Week 5, but do it to a girl who you fancy. If you end up having a really awesome convo, ask for her Facebook at the end. Yes, this works
Week 7 and beyond - You get the gist. Keep setting harder goals every week.

Final tip, always walk like you have a superhero cape on. Even at home. Srs. Might feel stupid at the start but eventually it'll become a habit you don't think about. They did a psychology study on this, and it turns out that not only do you look confident, but you'll also feel a lot more confident.

Best of luck

[Orson]

*late reply, and wow, sorry, I really don't know what happened here, I started to type and ended up with an entire novel's worth of waffle...

Thanks! I'll test this stuff out at the AN meetup haha...The thing is, I feel like I'm kinda forcing stuff when I talk to new people...

[keltingmeith]

That's gonna be pretty hard for me...

Don't worry, I understand completely.

When I was younger, I was diagnosed with Aspergers' Syndrome. Here's the kicker - anyone from the forums who has met me irl and reads this probably does not believe me. Hell - when I had to start seeing a neurologist, he asked me about prior conditions and looked at me like I had two heads when I mentioned it.

Here's the thing, though - I was diagnosed for a reason, and at the time my paediatrician actually apologized to my mum, saying, "I'm so sorry, it's so obvious, I should have known." Even now, I'll occasionally say something to my mum, and get a funny look with a "my GOD you're so aspie" in return.

If nothing else, let this be a case study - you can get to socializing!!! Yes, it will be hard and you will probably have days of anxiety over it, but you CAN get there.

bangali_lok and 99.90plz has given plenty of tips, but have one more:

As a university student, I know that the uni tries to help with your social life as much as possible. My advice is to go with the flow - if you start to feel really uncomfortable, yes, stop so that you don't hurt yourself (physically or mentally). However, the more against the grain you move, the rougher your experience will be. So, jump in, relax, and have fun! Join a club, attend a camp, munt on someone's free snag. You'll surprise yourself when it comes to making friends. (on joining a club, if you find one you like, join the committee as a first year rep. Then they HAVE to put up with and engage with you. Legit tho, it's a great way to make friends!)

Final tip, always walk like you have a superhero cape on. Even at home. Srs. Might feel stupid at the start but eventually it'll become a habit you don't think about. They did a psychology study on this, and it turns out that not only do you look confident, but you'll also feel a lot more confident.

Best of luck.

THIS. The one thing I learned in year 10 psych is that your brain is stupid. If you pretend to be happy, it will think you're happy and release endorphins. If you /think/ you're confident, your brain will follow suit.

As they say - fake it 'til you make it.

[heids]

This stuff is like weight-training; you can't do it all at once. It's a skillset you have to learn, which means you have to practice constantly and consistently. Set yourself goals which increment in small steps.

AMEN BROTHER

Thanks! I'll test this stuff out at the AN meetup haha...The thing is, I feel like I'm kinda forcing stuff when I talk to new people...

Yeah, but that's okay.  I normally feel like that too.  That's where practice comes in, and that's why I'd recommend sitting practising small talk in front  of the mirror (LOL, no matter how stupid that sounds).  Imagine you're meeting someone at the AN meet or uni and talk like two different people:

You: *smile, make eye contact and hold out hand* Hi, I'm Orson, nice to meet you!
Switch to 'other' person: Hey Orson!  I'm Bangali.
You: Wow cool, you're my idol, I dream about you at nights!!! Hi Bangali, nice to meet you!  So what course are you doing?
Other: I'm doing Nursing.  How about you?
You: I'm doing Arts at Monash, majoring in Swag, but nursing sounds cool, how are you finding it?
Other: ...

And so on; practise leading the conversation in a whole bunch of different ways, and have fun in the process too   Because you're on your own you can spend longer thinking about how you'd answer or what's the best thing to say.  Believe me, once you combine it with a little real-life practise as 99.90 pls suggested, it'll soon feel natural and won't sound forced to yourself or the person you're talking to

[heids]

With a timetable that appears to have the only aim of blocking as many available morning/afternoon work shifts as humanly possible (even if it fitted perfectly to my prefs which I guess isn't likely), my first jaffy questions are:

a) how many lectures/tutes can I possibly get away with skipping? (looking for general guidelines as to when you can/can't skip)
b) what 'guided self-directed learning', and can I just skip that?

[Joseph41]

Somebody with a better understanding of Nursing should be able to answer this one more suitably.

a) how many lectures/tutes can I possibly get away with skipping? (looking for general guidelines as to when you can/can't skip)

Depends on the uni, the course, and even the unit. From my experience, lectures are basically optional; however, I have had a few that required (at least 80% or something) attendance. I'm not entirely sure how Nursing works, but I think it should be made apparent in the unit guide or course guide or whatever you're provided with.

There is usually an attendance requirement for tutes. I think it's 75% or 80%, but again this will probably be variable. So you can skip as many as you want on the assumption that you fulfil the actual attendance requirements.

tl;dr: lectures are usually optional, and tutes require attendance (to a degree).

EDIT: I just had a look at this unit, and that requires 100% tute/lab attendance. So it may be more stringent for nursing. (If you're sick, you don't need to attend on the assumption that you can provide a medical certificate.)

b) what 'guided self-directed learning', and can I just skip that?

Just general study. That will just be a guideline as to how long you 'should' be spending on your work outside of actual contact hours.

[Syndicate]

Hey guys,

So, I have been curious for a long time (I actually mean it XD), and wanted to know a little about uni


-So how do classes actaully work? Do you go in at a random time, or specific time (compulsory? Like school)
- are they actually classes (you know, like in schools) ? Or lectures?
- how many students are there in a class/ lecture (looking at biomed or MBBS)
- Lastly, are there any assessments? (Like, small Sacs or something)


Thanks

[pi]

Hey guys,

So, I have been curious for a long time (I actually mean it XD), and wanted to know a little about uni


-So how do classes actaully work? Do you go in at a random time, or specific time (compulsory? Like school)
- are they actually classes (you know, like in schools) ? Or lectures?
- how many students are there in a class/ lecture (looking at biomed or MBBS)
- Lastly, are there any assessments? (Like, small Sacs or something)


Thanks

1. No such thing as class ("toto we're not in kansas anymore"), there are tutes, lectures, labs, etc. Depending on your unit, there may or may not be an attendance requirement. eg. for med, there is an 80% hurdle attendance requirement for tutes, but not for lectures. These are not at a random time, they are at the time on your timetable.

2. In med, most preclin tutes have ~15-20 people. In clinical years they can have as few as 4-6 people. This is explained in more detail in the main post.

3. There are indeed assessments: essays, reports, group assignments, tests, etc. Really depends on the units. Some assessments may be worth heaps, some may be worth nothing at all. Some may be hurdle, others not. There's one assignment in med where you can literally do whatever you want (I made a costume with a few mates!), so there's quite a variety!

[qazser]

Hey Pi,

Could you please explain under grad, post grad? Ty in advance

Qazser

[Darth_Pepe]

Hey Pi,

Could you please explain under grad, post grad? Ty in advance

Qazser

Undergrad: your first university degree (bachelors degree)

postgrad: its a course for those who already have a degree (masters)

[Darth_Pepe]

I speak a couple of languages apart from english very fluently and i was wondering if i could take a language unit like vce for easy marks?

edit. this would be at monash uni