Wearing track suit pants to melb uni?

[daphaneng]

Wear what you want. I've worn a onesie to uni once. And on several occasions, people have worn their birthday suits around campus.

[anna.xo]

people have worn their birthday suits around campus.

Is this even legit ?

[vox nihili]

Is this even legit ?

Sadly

[anna.xo]

Sadly

Wow..and I thought Melbourne Uni was where the prestige was at..

[slothpomba]

Pretty much no one cares about clothes. Wear good clothes if you want, if you don't want to, no one will really pay much attention either. If someone doesn't like you because of your clothes, trust me, they'll be petty about so many other things and you don't want them as an associate or a friend.

To be perfectly frank, i think the problems you have stem from a deeper place than clothes and travel time. Many people i know travel far longer and have been wearing tracksuits from day #1 and they are perfectly happy. It is doubtful whether clothing and travel time is the true genesis of your problem. Now, whether you already realise this and dont want to say it (i can understand why) or don't realise it, it's likely true.

I traveled 2+ hours to uni and not a single person from my highschool went to Monash. My first year and in particular first semester was shit. I felt really lonely and depressed because i knew no one and everyone around me seemed to know people. Even people that originally knew no one seemed to do OK and wind up happy. I know them feels man.

There are a few issues there though.

Issue number one was expectations. You have certain expectations of reality and how you should or shouldn't be in your head. If you don't live up to them, you will inevitably feel pain. You have this expectation come uni you'll have a lot of friends. You think you should be surrounded by friends. You think you shouldn't have lunch alone. You think people are judging you. You think you should have more university friends than you do. All these thoughts and expectations will make you unhappy. If you think you shouldn't eat lunch alone, when you do, of course you will feel sad.

The problem is not so much expectations though, it's false and unrealistic expectations. It's ok to eat lunch alone. If you expect that this wont happen or you find it unusual, you are setting yourself up for sadness. You need to look long and hard at these things and see whether they're realistic or helpful. I know say 90-95% of the time i eat lunch alone because of my odd timetables and i simply just dont give a fuck. There is nothing wrong with it and everyone is so busy with their own business that they wont judge you.

Issue number two is not trying hard enough. I know it almost sounds like a put down but its true. Some people are lucky and have an instant group of friends. It doesn't always happen that way though. I know you're lonely and it is hard but what have you attempted to change it? I was upset because i didnt know many people in first year but i wasn't trying hard at it either. I was almost being a bit narcissistic or selfish and expecting people to come up to me. In a place as big and busy as uni, that won't happen. If you want friends you'll have to put in the work to make them. I made the majority of my university friends through joining clubs, its simply a much more conducive environment. There is a club for everything - fire juggling, anime, video games, board games, dressing up in medieval clothes, running. I'm sure you could find something you like. Do it and join it. Organise meetings or outings with people, organise study groups. You do need to be proactive though.

I think you could benefit from some counseling as well. A surprising number of people at uni need help at one stage or another. So many people i never expected to have needed things like this have. Just try it out and see how it goes.

[sjayne]

I traveled 2+ hours to uni and not a single person from my highschool went to Monash. My first year and in particular first semester was shit. I felt really lonely and depressed because i knew no one and everyone around me seemed to know people. Even people that originally knew no one seemed to do OK and wind up happy. I know them feels man.

It takes me 1.5+hrs to get to melb uni and I don't know anyone, so hearing you say that things started off crappy but eventually got better makes me feel heaps more positive!

[scribble]

Honestly, no one cares gives a flying fuck about how you dress at uni. Dress in whatever you're comfortable in whether it be trackies and a t shirt or a mini skirt and six inch heels.

And seriously, you're welcome to have lunch with me if you want some company.

[EvangelionZeta]

I'm going to be devil's advocate here and add a counter-voice to all the stuff mentioned thus far in this thread.  To the OP, if you're feeling anxiety and stress because of pressure to wear nice clothes, then you should absolutely prioritise wearing what you want; there's no point in being there if it's going to add so much stress.  As many people have mentioned thus far as well, nobody is going to consciously disrespect you, except for really judgmental people (who you're better off not dealing with anyway).  I just want to make it broadly clear that I absolutely agree with the points many have raised thus far.

Here's the catch; even though most people are nice, there are *some* judgmental people out there.  Unfortunately, many of these kinds of people are also likely to be the kinds who have power in certain parts of campus - think presidents of certain societies, career hacks, people trying to climb the corporate ladder, etc.  I understand this is a generalisation (I know plenty of people like that who are as sweet and fair as you can get), but equally it's fairly intuitive that people with an obsession for power/wealth are probably also somewhat superficial.  If you want to impress these kinds of people, sometimes there is a basic standard of what you have to wear to do so.  Now, the good thing here is that you probably don't need to care about them; in fact, unless you're a career hack or something yourself, it likely doesn't matter.  But I just wanted to raise the idea that sometimes, it *does* make a difference what you wear, and that we shouldn't totally disregard such circumstances.  Also, I do think at uni people tend to sometimes be a bit more judgy in terms of "hooking up" with regards to superficial things about appearance - but that's again probably fairly intuitive, since casual hook-ups are just done with people you find hot (ie. have no deeper meaning); again, if you don't want any part in that, don't worry about it (and relationships are way different from hook-ups!  People care more about your personality there, not how you dress).

In summary - to the OP specifically - believe in yourself, and know that it is absolutely okay to dress however you want, and trust in human decency that nobody will care, and that if you are a good person, and try hard (as Slothpomba pointed out), they will love you, given time.  But also, don't *completely* dismiss the significance of what you wear, because in some very particular circumstances, it can be important too (though you can just as easily opt-out of those circumstances; in which case, again, do whatever you want!!!)

[Professor Polonsky]

I'm going to be devil's advocate here