[English] "Anna Bligh outperforms Julia Gillard" language analysis

[man0005]

February Week 1 - Language Analysis  - http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/anna-bligh-outperforms-julia-gillard-in-the-greatest-leadership-test-of-all/story-e6frfhqf-1225987453715

The recent floods in Queensland have made an impact all over the world. In times of crisis such as this, a hero duly emerges and Susie O’Brien’s opinion piece targeted towards the general public, “Anna Bligh outperforms Julia Gillard in the greatest leadership test of all” in the Herald Sun contends with a fervent and definite tone that Anna Bligh is this hero.

O’Brien initiates the article with an emphasis on the “scrutiny” that politicians experience “24-hours” a day highlighting to the reader, the pressure Blight has been under and subsequently her strength in being able to deal with it so well. In providing such a detailed view of both the past and present circumstances which she had to deal with throughout this ordeal, O’Brien further underlines the true value of her actions encouraging a sense of gratefulness in the reader for what she has been able to do. Such emotions are further compounded through the use of words such as “struggling woman”, “unimaginable crisis”, and “vulnerable”. Moreover, the writer continues to highlight her importance in the eyes of the reader by comparing her to other leaders who have been in similar situations.

In contrasting the actions of Blight to that of other renowned leaders, O’Brien draws up a basis for the reader on which they can astutely judge her. The reference to own premier gives the reader a better idea of Anna Bligh’s importance in this matter, since the Herald Sun is a Victorian Paper. More importantly though, portraying her much better than a well known figure in the wider community, such as that of our Prime Minister, leads the audience to much greater feelings of respect and admiration for Bligh. Moreover by using emotive words with positive and negative connotations to compare the two leaders, O’Brien further raises the reputation of Bligh in the eye of the reader, while at the same time casting aspersions on the leadership of Gillard. The comparison between words such as “wooden”, “unconvincing” and “unsure” used to describe the Prime Minister with that of those used to describe Bligh like “calm”, “steely” and “unflappable” is sure to create a gap in the ability of both leaders to act in crisis in the eyes of the reader. This is well illustrated in the image at the forefront of the article.

Complementing the opinion piece, Susie O’Brien presents a picture depicting Anna Blight confronting the media and an almost blurred Julia Gillard lurking in the background. Immediately the reader is alluded to the distinction in each leader’s approach as depicted by their different positions. Similarly, the finer details of the image such as that of their facial expressions and hair style are sure to instigate different feelings from the reader. There is a distinction in attitudes that the reader is most likely to pick up in measuring the unkempt hair and strained face of Bligh to the impeccable face and casual smile of Gillard.  It reinforces the dissimilar priorities of each leader. Furthermore the reader may see some resemblance between Julia Gillard and John Brumby, whose public appearance is similarly described in the article and may draw the conclusion that the Prime Minister’s role in this tragedy will be equally as “uninspiring”. In doing so, it evokes more feelings of reverence and appreciation in Anna Bligh’s ability to transcend the traditional standards of a politician and become the leader the public required in this great time of need. 

The crux of this opinion stems from the vast differences in the abilities of Anna Bligh and her colleagues to adapt and respond in times of adversity. In comparing her to a lauded figure such as that of our Prime Minister, the reader is further led to feelings of respect.  Not only that but in emphasising the conditions in which she had to do this, adds to the gratitude in the minds of the reader. Particularly in times such as these where all states have been affected by some form phenomenon, the reader is more likely to feel appreciation towards the efforts of Anna Bligh.   

[schmalex]

The recent floods in Queensland have made an impact all over the world. In times of crisis such as this, a hero duly emerges and Susie O’Brien’s opinion piece targeted towards the general public, “Anna Bligh outperforms Julia Gillard in the greatest leadership test of all” in the Herald Sun contends with a fervent and definite tone that Anna Bligh is this hero.

Make it clear that the piece is about leadership, and it's not just a piece about the flood. Also, "general public" doesn't really say anything about the target audience. If you're going to be broad, write something like "Herald Sun readers", and if it's relevent you can bring up that the target readership of the herald sun tends to be the less-educated, low-to-middle income or whatever. Some of the articles will also be targeted at, for example, conservative readers, or left-leaning people etc. If you're going to make a statement as general as the target audience being the "general public", I just wouldn't write about your target audience at all. Also, you don't need to write the general statement that heroes tend to emerge in times of crisis. Just give an account of the way that the media has portrayed the floods, and how this article fits in with that. Is there widespread criticism of Anna Bligh, that this writer is responding to? Are people questioning the political leadership at this time? Try to avoid general statements, because it isn't a sociology essay, it's about language.

O’Brien initiates the article with an emphasis on the “scrutiny” that politicians experience “24-hours” a day highlighting to the reader, the pressure Blight has been under and subsequently her strength in being able to deal with it so well.

Split this into two sentences.

Moreover, the writer continues to highlight her importance in the eyes of the reader by comparing her to other leaders who have been in similar situations.

This sentence should be part of the NEXT paragraph.

The reference to own premier gives the reader a better idea of Anna Bligh’s importance in this matter, since the Herald Sun is a Victorian Paper.

This is good. This is alluding to a target audience and giving the article context. See how this gives readers more information than "targeted at the general public".

is sure to create a gap in the ability of both leaders to act in crisis in the eyes of the reader.

NO. It's never "sure to". Also, I don't really understand what you're saying. Use more clear language.

This is well illustrated in the image at the forefront of the article.

Once again, this sentence is in the wrong paragraph.



The crux of this opinion stems from the vast differences in the abilities of Anna Bligh and her colleagues to adapt and respond in times of adversity. In comparing her to a lauded figure such as that of our Prime Minister, the reader is further led to feelings of respect.  Not only that but in emphasising the conditions in which she had to do this, adds to the gratitude in the minds of the reader. Particularly in times such as these where all states have been affected by some form phenomenon, the reader is more likely to feel appreciation towards the efforts of Anna Bligh.

This is far too wordy. Just sum up the main techniques, and briefly evaluate the article's strengths and weaknesses. It seems like you're chosing to attempt to "appear smart" rather than have people understand what you're sayign. Focus on clarity before you try to make it sound smart, but you'll appear smarter if it's clear and concise.

[man0005]

"This is well illustrated in the image at the forefront of the article." and "Moreover, the writer continues to highlight her importance in the eyes of the reader by comparing her to other leaders who have been in similar situations."
were the links to the next paragraphs.
do we not need to do it in language analysis? :S

[schmalex]

Link it in at the start of the next paragraph. "The writer continues to highligt her importance by comparing her to other leaders" is a great start to a paragraph.

[man0005]

okay
what mark would you give this out of 10? :/

[schmalex]

I have no idea, my teachers never gave me ranks out of 10 and I never got a SoM, so I don't really know what sort of essay would get what sort of marks. I think if you wrote a bit more, and worked on the things I pointed out, it would be upper-midrange though.

[man0005]

oh okay, thanks for the help

if anyone could give me a mark, that would be great