Hey it's me.
I read your journal after posting mine and I can't pretend to be all flowery about it and say it's going to be okay because I'm feeling the same about yesterday's exam. It sucks to have to come at terms with it.
I know it's a bit hypocritical of me to try to make you feel better when I kept telling my parents to let me be miserable for a while but something my mum said to me yesterday stuck with me: "Don't create a frameshift mutation". You still have 2 more exams to go. It feels so hard to push out of Biology, but try to focus on Methods and Chemistry. You haven't received your study score yet so you never know where it will take you. And you still have the UCAT under your belt.
My Biology teacher said this and I found it somewhat comforting.
"Don't beat yourself up over the exam. It's not an uncommon feeling to walk out as you have. It's a different feeling to a SAC. More questions, more variability, can't recall all responses etc.
There's an incredibly small chance that you score that low. It's done, and you've got other responsibilities to focus on. Immerse yourself in that world now.
When you get your score, we can revisit the realities of the year rather than what might be. "
If things don't turn out the way you wished, there'll be other pathways for med. You're such a conscientious person you'll find your own way into the career that best suits you and makes you happy. Remember not to judge your self worth based on one exam because it's such a weird system. How can 2.5 hours determine how much your aptitude is worth? aTAR is jUsT a NumbEr. The system downright sucks, and I'm not saying this out of sympathy but pure agitation about it. Try your best for Chem and Methods, and if you feel prepared enough, also give yourself a break. Go out for a walk. Listen to something calm. Dress up, even. It helps. Have chocolate.
*virtual hugs* because I kind of know how this feels.
Don't leave any regrets for other subjects. Be kind to yourself
This was really sweet to read, thank you. I love that analogy - probably something I'll use later on in life as well. I'm going to try my best to make sure it doesn't end up as a frameshift mutation, just keep working, studying and looking after my health. You're right - I need to focus on methods and chemistry, and I can think about my other bad exam performances after ATARs come out.
I had never really thought too deeply about it before, this system of ours. And I guess that's the disadvantage with all standardised testing systems. They can never truly determine your knowledge, skills, hard work and determination. Because it's only a few hours. A few hours with too many variables that are going to impact your performance no matter how hard you work. I think I've learnt that the hard way.
You too are a hard worker. From your journal, I can see that you've worked so hard, and it has not gone down the drain, although it may seem like it. We all make mistakes - on SACs, exams, and whatnot, and we shouldn't beat ourselves up about it, because it's only normal. You have worked so well and like you said - it's over. Time to focus on other things that demand our attention, rather than waste time worrying or crying about something in the past that we cannot change.
Now I'm going to use your advice as an excuse to eat lots of chocolate.
*virtual hug* right back at you.
Hey Whys,
I already know you've got tones of responses to reply to, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone, and that your feelings are perfectly valid. I was in the exact same position with bio last year. I didn't get a DES as for me it's chronic which doesn't count :/, however my own heatlh condition severely interfered with my exam performance. I ended up passing out for around 15 minutes and just had no clue what I even wrote for the rest of it. I can 100% relate to that feeling of seeing all of that hard work down the drain. All those practice exams, your SAC scores, all the time you spend revising, I think that's what hurts the most. Just knowing that because that day didn't go to well, when all other factors were controllable, it's just that pesky unpredictability of health.
Time does heal the frustration, although i'm still a bit bitter about it, but your not alone in those feelings. I really do hope that you'll do fantastic on your remaining exams, and fingers crossed it doesn't happen again or to that extent. Remembering how the ATAR is just a score reflecting a period time, and that time wasn't the best unfortunately. Don't be too hard on yourself, I know the pressures we all place on ourselves make that difficult, but hopefully you can be happy knowing that it's all over and done with now. Good luck, you're almost done!
Thank you for the reply, it means a lot. Although I cannot relate to the struggles of dealing with a chronic health issue, I feel you, to some extent. I am so so proud of you for persisting through that exam. It is not easy when you are in pain - the words are blurry, your knowledge is out the window and it feels so impossible. But you did it. Not everyone could've done that. And yes, it is what hurts the most. I know that if I didn't put any effort it wouldn't have mattered so much, but those hours and hours spent doing practice exam after practice exam, and the hours spent correcting those exams, studying throughout the year - looking back, it makes me feel useless, because I could not put any of my knowledge to use. It hurts.
Time is a funny thing, isn't it? I think I'll learn to accept that sometimes, things don't always go to plan. And it's okay. That's what I've got to keep telling myself. Forget about how other people are going to see me (I mean, I can't wait for family gatherings when everyone's going to ask for my ATAR, then look at me like I'm a turtle when I tell them) and just accept it and move on. There'll be more opportunities in the future, it is not the end.
I like how you put that - the ATAR is just a score reflecting a period time, and that time wasn't the best. It's absolutely true. When we have high expectations, it's because we care, and that's always a good thing. We should just be careful that they don't take over. You know, just taking a step back, a deep breath in, and telling yourself that it's okay.
Best of luck to you for your exams Geoo - you are so inspirational and a hardworker. You will definitely go places.
Heya Whys,
I'm really sorry to hear that your exam didn't go as planned. Dw, this exactly happened to me - during the psych exam, I was going 'alright alright this looks okay' and that 10 marker came out of no where so I decided to speed through section B and section A but I spent so long on section B, so much longer than on my prac exams (something was just not right on the exam day) and I only had 5 minutes left to finish section C so my goals for psych this year was absolutely demolished which really hurts me considering I spent so much time on this subject and it was my favourite. I also made 2 small mistakes on my further exam which kills me and now I'm freaking out that I won't get a 40+. Try not to beat yourself up, you're the most hardworking person I've met virtually. I just want you to know that even though bio might have not gone to plan, I'm sure you will have done so well in your other subjects to hit that Med goal. This year has been a tumultuous year and you've made it through, which is all that matters.
Love,
Mary
To start with, congrats for finishing the psych exam! So proud of you, and it's time to celebrate now it's over! Timing can definitely go all wack on you in the exam, and sometimes you don't realise until it's too late. But don't worry - extended response isn't everything, and year 11 is definitely a year of learning what works and what doesn't. I would not be destroying hope for above 40 for both psych and further - it is extremely likely that you are exaggerating what went wrong in your mind (EVERYONE does this, it's very normal!), and I, for one, know you are a talented and hardworking (okay, how many times have I used this word in this post?!) student.
Your confidence in me is making me smile - thank you, truly, thank you. You are always so full of praise and I can never understand why, but thank you for your belief in me. It means a lot.
Hey Whys,
I just wanted to let you know that it is still possible to get a good study score despite needing a DES. You seem like a really smart and hardworking individual, and I am sure you have done well in your sacs throughout the year- not all hope is lost. I needed two DES' back when I did VCE and I ended up with a 40 & 45 ss for those subjects (one which was bio).
I know how awful it is to have exams not go to plan due to things out of our control, take some time for yourself (I know it's hard in exam season), and try not to worry too much right now about what has happened.
Thank you for the reply Lilac! I never realised a DES could be that high - for some reason I've always been under the impression that DES's can never be over 40... (I'm not sure where I got that from but yeah). Thank you for the reassurance - it made me feel a bit better. Maybe not all hope is lost. I'll definitely take a break and chill out. Now, the only thing I can do is focus on trying my best for my upcoming exams, and forget about what's happened. It's not in my hands anymore. Thank you for your advice, and for stopping by to write this out.
Home
Help
Search
Login
Topic: whys' VCE journal (Read 81491 times)