HSC standard english - sample paper C

[Kombmail]

This was done as homework and I wanted feedback from lecturers if fine thanks:)

Example C Qa:

The stairs were covered in a red velvet - like rug leading to two seperating stairs. The baroque styled bars all covered in dust. The spiderwebs shone like crystal reflecting the sun from the windows. All I could feel were vibrations running down the bars. Someone. It had felt like a new human. New flesh was coming towards me from behind. I rush up the stairs. I hug one of the brown poles near me as tightly as I can to think my fear had gone away. Slowly, eyes open. They focus lower to the ground seeing mice sitting quietly. I guess its just the mice following me for now. Maybe the sounds were just me and my consciousness. I decided to go to sleep soon. Soon enough to forget what I had felt and saw today.

Example C Qb:

My creative response had described the individual's sight and feelings of fear into entering a new environment. All which was produced effectively. However, I had lacked again in the flow of writing. My response had no base to who the ideal character was and did not show any purposeful decisions made by the composer. It seemed to have carried the usual structure composers' use but without added interest. In describing a first time situation, I also needed to describe touch and hearing of a character. For eg. 'The baroque styled bars all covered in dust / The spiderwebs shone like crystal...'. That sentence simply covers use of adjectives and lesser of describing other sensory feelings through a wide range of literary devices. To conclude, the storyline was produced well, but lacked a proper base to it.

[angewina_naguen]

Hey, Kombmail!

I may not be a lecturer but I'm happy to offer some feedback 

Example C A)

The stairs were covered in a red velvet- like (I would suggest just saying "a rug" because a simile wouldn't make much sense here since it's clearly depicted in the image) rug leading to two seperating separatestairs. The baroque styled bars are all covered in dust. The spiderwebs (Some more detail here; where are the spiderwebs? On the bars? Towards the ceiling?) shone like crystal reflecting the sun from the windows. All I could feel were vibrations running down the bars. Someone. (You could consider isolating this word as a paragraph on its own. It can add more suspense this way and show your awareness of structure as an important aspect in literary communication). It had (You can remove the "had" since it's already in past tense with "felt"). felt like a new human. New flesh was coming towards me from behind. I rush (Your tense needs to remain consistent throughout the creative. You wrote the beginning of the creative in past and now there's a shift to present. This is just something to be aware about and hopefully something you won't have to worry about in an exam with enough practice). up the stairs. I hug one of the brown poles near me as tightly as I can to think my fear had gone away. Slowly, eyes open. They focus lower to the ground seeing mice sitting quietly. I guess its it'sjust the mice following me for now. Maybe the sounds were just me and my consciousness (You could remove "my consciousness" if you wish. It has enough suspense with "Maybe the sounds were just me."). I decided to go to sleep soon. Soon enough to forget what I had felt and saw today.

Example C B)

My creative response had (has) described the individual's sight and feelings of fear into entering a new environment.,all which was produced effectively. You need to make more detailed reference here to your response in Qa. At the moment, you have simply said that it was done effectively without providing any techniques that you have used here that you found effective. This is a great evaluative statement but it needs reference to your creative in order to convey your judgement with more clarity. However, I had havelacked again (What do you mean by "again"? in the flow of writing. My response had no base to who the ideal character was and did not show any purposeful decisions made by the composer. It seemed to have carried the usual structure composers' use but without added interest. In describing a first time situation, I also needed to describe touch and hearing of a character. For eg. (In an English exam, I would advise you to keep this formal and write out "example"). 'The baroque styled bars all covered in dust / The spiderwebs shone like crystal...'. That sentence simply covers use of adjectives and lesser of describing other sensory feelings (You could add something such as "outside of the visual, as prompted by the stimulus" to indicate that you have reflected on where this displacement of sensory dimension has originated from to you). through a wide range of literary devices. To conclude, the storyline (A suggestion I could offer would be to refer to it as simply "the response" or even "the plot"). was produced well, but lacked a proper base to it.

Alongside these, I just wanted to give you a heads up that you have 40 minutes for this section. It would be a good idea to practise writing as much as you can with more short answer questions of a similar nature so you can increase the length of both responses. In 40 minutes, I would aim to achieve somewhere between 800-1000 words depending on how fast your handwriting is in total for the two questions. Hope this helps and let me know if you have any further questions!

Angelina 

[Kombmail]

Hey, Kombmail!

I may not be a lecturer but I'm happy to offer some feedback 

Example C A)

The stairs were covered in a red velvet- like (I would suggest just saying "a rug" because a simile wouldn't make much sense here since it's clearly depicted in the image) rug leading to two seperating separatestairs. The baroque styled bars are all covered in dust. The spiderwebs (Some more detail here; where are the spiderwebs? On the bars? Towards the ceiling?) shone like crystal reflecting the sun from the windows. All I could feel were vibrations running down the bars. Someone. (You could consider isolating this word as a paragraph on its own. It can add more suspense this way and show your awareness of structure as an important aspect in literary communication). It had (You can remove the "had" since it's already in past tense with "felt"). felt like a new human. New flesh was coming towards me from behind. I rush (Your tense needs to remain consistent throughout the creative. You wrote the beginning of the creative in past and now there's a shift to present. This is just something to be aware about and hopefully something you won't have to worry about in an exam with enough practice). up the stairs. I hug one of the brown poles near me as tightly as I can to think my fear had gone away. Slowly, eyes open. They focus lower to the ground seeing mice sitting quietly. I guess its it'sjust the mice following me for now. Maybe the sounds were just me and my consciousness (You could remove "my consciousness" if you wish. It has enough suspense with "Maybe the sounds were just me."). I decided to go to sleep soon. Soon enough to forget what I had felt and saw today.

Example C B)

My creative response had (has) described the individual's sight and feelings of fear into entering a new environment.,all which was produced effectively. You need to make more detailed reference here to your response in Qa. At the moment, you have simply said that it was done effectively without providing any techniques that you have used here that you found effective. This is a great evaluative statement but it needs reference to your creative in order to convey your judgement with more clarity. However, I had havelacked again (What do you mean by "again"? in the flow of writing. My response had no base to who the ideal character was and did not show any purposeful decisions made by the composer. It seemed to have carried the usual structure composers' use but without added interest. In describing a first time situation, I also needed to describe touch and hearing of a character. For eg. (In an English exam, I would advise you to keep this formal and write out "example"). 'The baroque styled bars all covered in dust / The spiderwebs shone like crystal...'. That sentence simply covers use of adjectives and lesser of describing other sensory feelings (You could add something such as "outside of the visual, as prompted by the stimulus" to indicate that you have reflected on where this displacement of sensory dimension has originated from to you). through a wide range of literary devices. To conclude, the storyline (A suggestion I could offer would be to refer to it as simply "the response" or even "the plot"). was produced well, but lacked a proper base to it.

Alongside these, I just wanted to give you a heads up that you have 40 minutes for this section. It would be a good idea to practise writing as much as you can with more short answer questions of a similar nature so you can increase the length of both responses. In 40 minutes, I would aim to achieve somewhere between 800-1000 words depending on how fast your handwriting is in total for the two questions. Hope this helps and let me know if you have any further questions!

Angelina 

Hey thanks Angewina!!!
I also realized you are at the conservatorium of music and myself being an aspiring singer. I wanted feedback from you on how I should practise for music in the HSC?

thanks again:)
Komal:)

[angewina_naguen]

Hey thanks Angewina!!!
I also realized you are at the conservatorium of music and myself being an aspiring singer. I wanted feedback from you on how I should practise for music in the HSC?

thanks again:)
Komal:)

Hey, Komal!

I commence studying at the Con in a few weeks time but I'd definitely be happy to give you some pointers for music  Whether you have Music 1 or 2, my advice for the subject is to be very disciplined with yourself. There is a huge stigma on Music being a "bludge" and "low-scaling" subject which I personally find untrue because a lot of work went into my study. The demands of the subject are largely unspoken; you have to be diligent and responsible enough to manage your own practice times and to make the most of them to maximise your performance potential.

For singing specifically, I did warm ups every single day during my HSC (and I still do this today) to keep my vocal chords running. I found that I reduced the likelihood of losing my voice or getting a sore throat because I was more in touch and aware of my voice's fragility when I did this. It also sets the right foundation for you to rehearse and perform so definitely take this on board. It's important to stretch before you exercise and think of singing as exercise for the voice.

Another tip is to see singing more as a whole-body experience. Using your hands, choreographing points in the piece to move and interact with the space you are performing in, having strong facial expressions and being confident in your own skin can show the marker your love for singing, as well as how well you have engaged in its practice. I perform a lot of musical theatre so this comes quite naturally to me now because simple things like fixing your posture and making eye contact to more complex gestures, such as the above, can improve the quality and audience engagement with your performance.

Final suggestion is to regularly check in with your teacher. You don't need a vocal coach to succeed in performance. You do need to establish a good relationship with your teacher though. Ask them for honest feedback and take on board as much of it as you can. You'll learn to be resilient and to develop a stronger sense of direction in your study if you consult with your teacher often. They are there to help 

I can give you more specific suggestions if you could let me know which electives you choose to do (performance, composition, musicology) since I did all three    We also have some amazing resources from Katie who is also studying Music Education such as this and a directory for the Music board on this forum here . I get very excited seeing music students on the forum and hope the board can grow more over the years 

If you would like to read more about my experience with Music in the HSC, I have linked my Music 2 Subject Review for you to have a read of. It's a long post but one that I wrote with the hopes of it benefiting future students such as yourself  Let me know if you have any other questions and good luck!

Angelina 

[Kombmail]

Hey, Komal!

I commence studying at the Con in a few weeks time but I'd definitely be happy to give you some pointers for music  Whether you have Music 1 or 2, my advice for the subject is to be very disciplined with yourself. There is a huge stigma on Music being a "bludge" and "low-scaling" subject which I personally find untrue because a lot of work went into my study. The demands of the subject are largely unspoken; you have to be diligent and responsible enough to manage your own practice times and to make the most of them to maximise your performance potential.

For singing specifically, I did warm ups every single day during my HSC (and I still do this today) to keep my vocal chords running. I found that I reduced the likelihood of losing my voice or getting a sore throat because I was more in touch and aware of my voice's fragility when I did this. It also sets the right foundation for you to rehearse and perform so definitely take this on board. It's important to stretch before you exercise and think of singing as exercise for the voice.

Another tip is to see singing more as a whole-body experience. Using your hands, choreographing points in the piece to move and interact with the space you are performing in, having strong facial expressions and being confident in your own skin can show the marker your love for singing, as well as how well you have engaged in its practice. I perform a lot of musical theatre so this comes quite naturally to me now because simple things like fixing your posture and making eye contact to more complex gestures, such as the above, can improve the quality and audience engagement with your performance.

Final suggestion is to regularly check in with your teacher. You don't need a vocal coach to succeed in performance. You do need to establish a good relationship with your teacher though. Ask them for honest feedback and take on board as much of it as you can. You'll learn to be resilient and to develop a stronger sense of direction in your study if you consult with your teacher often. They are there to help 

I can give you more specific suggestions if you could let me know which electives you choose to do (performance, composition, musicology) since I did all three    We also have some amazing resources from Katie who is also studying Music Education such as this and a directory for the Music board on this forum here . I get very excited seeing music students on the forum and hope the board can grow more over the years 

If you would like to read more about my experience with Music in the HSC, I have linked my Music 2 Subject Review for you to have a read of. It's a long post but one that I wrote with the hopes of it benefiting future students such as yourself  Let me know if you have any other questions and good luck!

Angelina 

I am thinking of doing electives which will best suit me if I want to be a singer? if that makes sense? I am a very dedicated and passionate student . And I really hope to end up where you will be studying at or really any music academy. The only things I lack are self- confidence. . . Because people keep telling me my voice is sweet and I dont really like knowing my tonal quality sounds like that. I also get stuck on high notes. It hurts my larynx real bad.

[angewina_naguen]

I am thinking of doing electives which will best suit me if I want to be a singer? if that makes sense? I am a very dedicated and passionate student . And I really hope to end up where you will be studying at or really any music academy. The only things I lack are self- confidence. . . Because people keep telling me my voice is sweet and I dont really like knowing my tonal quality sounds like that. I also get stuck on high notes. It hurts my larynx real bad.

Hey, Komal!

If that's the case, I would recommend doing four performances if you were looking to pursue performance  For improving your self-confidence, I would suggest recording yourself rehearsing and doing an evaluation once you listen to it. Reflect on what you need to work on BUT make sure you focus on what you did do well. This can boost your confidence in yourself in the long run.

Having a voice that is sweet isn't a bad thing at all! You can definitely work with it if you choose the right repertoire. Select songs that enhance your tonal quality and let it shine; you could do something folksy with Gabrielle Aplin, as opposed to doing, say, a punk rock Paramore song. Playing with your strengths will also help increase your ability to perform with confidence 

If you are feeling damage from singing higher notes, perhaps the notes are out of your range. What you could do is try and find someone to transpose the song lower into a more comfortable key (surely, there must be someone in your class who is great accompanist material). This can tailor it to your voice better than forcing it to reach higher and causing long term damage. Hope that helps! Let me know if there's anything else you would like to know 

Angelina 

[Kombmail]

Hey, Komal!

If that's the case, I would recommend doing four performances if you were looking to pursue performance  For improving your self-confidence, I would suggest recording yourself rehearsing and doing an evaluation once you listen to it. Reflect on what you need to work on BUT make sure you focus on what you did do well. This can boost your confidence in yourself in the long run.

Having a voice that is sweet isn't a bad thing at all! You can definitely work with it if you choose the right repertoire. Select songs that enhance your tonal quality and let it shine; you could do something folksy with Gabrielle Aplin, as opposed to doing, say, a punk rock Paramore song. Playing with your strengths will also help increase your ability to perform with confidence 

If you are feeling damage from singing higher notes, perhaps the notes are out of your range. What you could do is try and find someone to transpose the song lower into a more comfortable key (surely, there must be someone in your class who is great accompanist material). This can tailor it to your voice better than forcing it to reach higher and causing long term damage. Hope that helps! Let me know if there's anything else you would like to know 

Angelina 

Hey soz to disturb you but because of my slight delay in theory learning in years 9 and 10 i am doing 2 performances and two viva voces. I'm just wondering say. . . if I do these two songs : ( I'm fine and Save me - bts) opposed to ..( monster - exo and tomorrow bts) for analysis in the 21st century music part of the major work. . . . which one is better suiting? I have already started off with monster and tomorrow in the holidays to a great degree however, I keep thinking if the other two are a better option or not?

p.s would it be okay if I send you my viva voces so far for feedback?

thanks again Angewina:)
Komal:)

[angewina_naguen]

Hey, Komal!

Interesting elective choice combination you have there! For 21st century music, I would suggest looking at the two BTS tracks instead because you could explore the musical style of Korean popular music, especially since the industry is at its peak as we speak. You could explore the similarities and differences between the two BTS songs and how they contribute to a certain style that is associated with the group and their music. An example would be how Save Me and I'm Fine both use the same motif for the introduction (though for I'm Fine it's transposed in a higher key). This motif indicates a direct sampling from Save Me and suggests the way musical/composition, stylistic choices by musicians in the 21st century are informed by the development of meaning they wish to convey across multiple works in their repertoire. As long as you use your six concepts of music and relate the examples you provide to the 21st century music topic, you'll do well  (reason why I know all of this is because my sister is a huge ARMY and I am a huge musicology enthusiast).

What is your other elective for the second Viva? If you have yet to decide, try to choose something contrasting so you can demonstrate a broader degree of knowledge on musical concepts and different styles of music. You can post your Vivas in the HSC Marking and Feedback thread as a new topic and either myself or another music student can jump in to help  Hope that helps!

Angelina