Help!!! im really bad at showing direction in my introductions

[mikaela98]

Hey! My introduction often lack in direction and end up sounding more like contentions  can anybody help me take this into more depth without outlining each idea im talking about ??

Topic: Brooklyn shows that change always comes at a cost. Discuss.

Colm Toibin’s Brooklyn depicts that in order for change to occur something must be challenged or lost. Through the hardships of migration, it becomes evident that change is inevitably paired with loss. Whilst these challenges can cause significant hardship it is often it is found that this change provides a greater reward, yet only for those willing to embrace it.


 

[snow257]

You have to also include what direction your essay will be taking and your main points for the introduction. Hope that helps.

[Hasti]

Hey! It's a great start to an introduction, but I'm just wondering why you don't want to outline your points in your introduction? It's always a good idea to signpost in your intro exactly where your essay will go. Maybe this is a reason you feel you need some more direction in the essay. Outlining your main points of argument is a great way of branching out from your thesis, to give evidence from your texts that your thesis is true. Without your contentions, your essay is just a thesis with an unjustified conclusion. So, I'd say, if anything, outlining your points IS how you show direction in your introduction. It paves the way for further argument, and lets the markers know just how you intend to prove your thesis - which is the whole point of your essay (apart from answering the question).
Good luck!

[chasej]

Hey! My introduction often lack in direction and end up sounding more like contentions  can anybody help me take this into more depth without outlining each idea im talking about ??

Topic: Brooklyn shows that change always comes at a cost. Discuss.

Colm Toibin’s Brooklyn depicts that in order for change to occur something must be challenged or lost. Through the hardships of migration, it becomes evident that change is inevitably paired with loss. Whilst these challenges can cause significant hardship it is often it is found that this change provides a greater reward, yet only for those willing to embrace it.

An introduction is supposed to briefly outline the ideas you will talk about.