How to make it out of VCE alive and intact

[Maddie Rose]

Before I begin writing anything, I would like to make a disclaimer that I have no idea what I am doing, this journal WILL be a mess. I've never written a journal before and I'm kinda hoping that this gets lost in the abyss of ATAR notes ngl.

Anyways, Hi! I'm Maddie and it is currently 1:46 am as I write this, in bed, the night before my Bio 3/4 results come out (something which my self-worth is "a little" too obsessed with right now- honestly it's gotten a bit out of hand at this point, like I wouldn't even be happy with a 50 so that's going to go excellently for sleep-deprived me tomorrow morning

Some background info:
I am part of the class of 2021 and I've been obsessed with VCE and my future since I knew it existed. I spent all of year 7 (2016) researching my future subjects, even to the extent that I'd look at my school's subject selection guides from the early 2000s just for fun. SO that being said, I've been waiting for next year for pretty much my entire life. Not because I want to get out of school, or I want to get a 99.95 ATAR, just because I finally wanted to be grown up and do things I was passionate about. ANYWAYS. after years of intense deliberation, I came to the conclusion that I would do English language, methods, chemistry, Latin, further and biology in year 11. (feel free to ask me questions about my decision-making process haha)


I named this thread a how-to guide and I'm beginning to think that was a mistake because I have nothing to give you guys honestly. I am a wreck. After 2020 beat the shit out of me with COVID, battling multiple mental health issues, a relationship breakdown, a term off school, a sexuality crisis and the true wondrous joy (sarcasm) that is my family, I have unfortunately given VCE all I have to give. And I am not yet halfway through. So obviously I'm going to do the only thing I can do and turn this shit around. If anyone ends up reading this, this journal is dedicated to all those dumbass high achievers with gifted kid burnout and daddy issues who are honestly just clinging on for dear life.

I have made an executive decision that now (at 2:01 am precisely) it is the perfect time for me to begin my journey in creating a 2021 that is liveable, enjoyable and productive. So welcome to the ride, everyone

Executive decisions that I have now made/ a funky to-do list:
- I will take all my medications, even if I don't want to (basic self-care Maddie jesus)
- I am cleaning my kitchen and bathroom and buying organisational storage boxes for everything so that I can feel human and vaguely under control next year
- I am committing to meal prepping before the school week (food and body image is NOT a problem I want to bring into 2021 so I will make this area run as smoothly as possible for myself by planning and prepping in advance
- I will only exercise when I want to. This year is not about making my non-study hours miserable as well.
- I will do my best. No more and no less is expected from me by anyone (including myself). if this poses a problem to anyone in my life then they shall promptly be removed from it

My year 11 in review:
Honestly, other than bio, this year has been a let down that I am just happy to have gotten through. My grades have never been worse, my motivation and stress about school never lower. That being said; at the start of this year, I was considering the fact that I may have to drop out or repeat year 11 because my mental health was so bad and now, writing this, I am truly content (happy??) for the first time in over 8 years, I have a 44 study score in bio!!! (yes I checked, it is now 11pm the following day lol) and I am ready to take on year 12 in a way that I never thought would be possible. and I will keep repeating to myself that this is enough for me.

English:
I had a really hard time with English this year, I did unit 1 English language and unit 2 English and still felt none the wiser about what I would choose next year. English is definitely my least confident subject and causes me great terror on a regular basis. The type of paralysing, self-deprecating terror that means that you cant even begin to address (or fix) the root cause of this fear. So you watch in abject horror as the test/ due date looms ever closer and your self-esteem grows smaller. I ended up not being able to do my final English exam due to numerous anxiety attacks, so I promptly made the switch to English language, and I'm currently praying I can find a formula for the AC's and essays that come along with it
This year is going to be different. I am giving myself permission to fail and English language. over and over again. Many times in as many different ways as I can muster. I'm going to treat it like I would a maths subject. I will send in essays and answers to my poor poor teacher the same way I would cross my fingers and check the answers in the back of my essential maths textbook and the beginning of a new topic. And just as in maths how I would quickly realise my mistake (or that I am on the right track) I will adjust my writing, add the feedback to a table in a word document and try again. And again. And I will not stop because I am sick and tired of doing badly just because I've always been to chicken to ever receive or look at English feedback because I was 'just too awful' and hence (predictably) I have improved minimally since.

Methods:
Maths has always been one of my favourite subjects but I'm not going to lie, it has suffered a bit this year. I got a C in a project that I got a 98% on because I was rotting in my room pretending it didn't exist for weeks after it was due. I think I averaged around a high B+ this year none the less (possibly due to the bell curve and my poor friends who entirely gave up on the subject). this coming year, I am getting a tutor for the first time (why am I terrified about it) and focussing on doing as many practice questions I can get my hands on and adding them to my mistakes notebook (separate from my bound reference). On that note, I am currently freaking out about what type of (book?? loose leaf?? binder??) umm paper-based material I should start my bound reference on so that I have the freedom to add and move lots of stuff as I progress through the year, so if any of y'all have any advice, it would be much welcome.

Chemistry:
Well shit. This was my worst graded subject this year. I barely passed it. I say barely I mean BARELY. But I did it and that is cool with me rn. I am not confident in this subject at all. I love science and know that I have the ability to be good at this subject but am overwhelmed with how behind I am and don't know where to start. I basically spent the whole year on damage control after learning pretty much nothing from term 1 and getting more and more concerned with the state of next years study score by the minute. I am considering getting a tutor in it (i did a few sessions at the end of this year, however, he said that he didn't want to teach me any content?? so I might get another one) Chemistry is the subject that I am just going to have to push through and keep on pushing. And pushing. and then push some more. I am determined to get there because I feel like I have so much wasted chemistry potential that I can tap into this year. I will write my silly little notes and then practice question myself half to death, but in a fun way hahah :0 I'll let you guys know when I figure out more about what I'm going to do for this subject

Psychology:
there is nothing to say about this, other than I started this year doing the 3/4, dropped to 1/2 after 3 lessons and then dropped the 1/2 4 weeks before my end of year exam. It was my best subject at that point (it was easy as balls) and i still hated it with a firey passion. So I'm doing further next year instead and I'm much happier with that.

Latin!!!!
This is my all-time favourite subject at the moment (other than Bio obviously) and it is the only subject that didn't suffer this year. I studied quite hard and have a 96% average for the whole year. I need to freaking learn my grammar though jesus christ.

biology:
This is the subject that I have waited to take my whole life. I have so much advice and tips on bio but it's late and I'm so tired so if any of y'all ask, ill do that in a separate post . I went through it relatively alright, I spent unit 3 figuring out how to study, unit 4 perfecting that method and then studied like all hell for the exam. I cannot believe that I didn't burn out, I was really testing the motivation gods for a bit. Anyways, I'm super happy with how I did and congratulations to everyone, this is a difficult subject and just making it through is an achievement honestly. I'm honestly really relieved with my study score because I think it sets me up nicely for next year, both ATAR and expectations wise.

Holiday homework plan (incomplete):
I've already done a bit so ill tick those ones off

English language:
- make a metalanguage vocab list
- lets Melbourne again coronavirus ad Analytical Commentary lol
- metalanguage/ 1/2 content revision
- contemporary metalanguage example presentation (no idea what the hell this even means so good luck to future me I guess)

Methods:
- Hard problem-solving MCQ sheet
- Holiday homework questions booklet (mostly just algebra problem-solving background skills) (started)
- chapter 1 and 2 of my textbook q's (started)
- chapter 2 review test
- Ti-Nspire questions booklet

Chemistry: yikes
- notes on fuel (chapter 3 in the textbook)  /
- answer all chapter questions and review questions at the end
- revise 1/2 content??
- skim the edrolo textbook to see what this year has in store for me (I don't wanna get blindsided lol)
- watch AOS1 and 2 edrolo videos (started)

Latin:
- 16 grammar exercises (5-21) yikes
- 3 unseen translations
- read the Aeneid
- write up all Latin grammar notes from 1/2

Further:
- read further study design (started)
- watch all edrolos
- chapter 1 learning plan of textbook /
- significant figures worksheet
- rounding worksheet

General:
- summarise year 11 AT feedback /
- make notes on atar notes feedback from high achievers /
- print study designs /
- buy resources /
- get stationary yayyy (started)

Anyways that's all I've got for y'all late this Wednesday evening. I apologise for any weirdness and grammar/ spelling mistakes. I'm only making this for me to look back on and remember where I was, but am happy if anyone cares enough to follow along with my stress spirals, moments of intense hope and very long checklists with the occasional sac/exam study plan.