I&B GUAIA

[unfamila]

Im back, HOPEFULLY i have IMPROVED a bit
 
so if someone would like to mark my essay i would greatly appreciate it 

                ‘Without connection to others there is no me.’

“We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.” Leo Buscaglias’ statement shows the importance of being loved, and the need to connect with society. He further explains that without connection and love from others’ we undoubtedly change and ‘cease to grow’. However, it is often stated that we learn our true self from our personal experiences and thoughts, and hence find out who we are by ourselves. But although we may find ourselves through our own personal experiences and thoughts we must connect to find a sense of social integration, otherwise a feeling of uselessness and isolation will be sought. Moreover being able to have a sense of social integration can become difficult due to the complexities of belonging and people opinions. When a disparity is noted people of change their identity to be similar and therefore there is connection but not the real ‘me’. Keeping to your true self and connecting to others is essential for a healthy lifestyle and wellbeing, to help us find our true self we often return or talk to the people closest to us, our family.

Our family’s actions and lifestyle has grown upon us from birth, they teach us how to behave, influence us on whom to be friends with, and we inherit their hobbies. Our families have a huge impact in determining our identity and this can ultimately impact on our behaviour with others. Nevertheless if one does not connect with their family in unity this can become a burden. Consequently individuals often use their families as a determinant for their own bad behaviour and this can be deleterious to how they are seen in society. In the film Life as a House directed by Irwin Winkler Sam the protagonist struggles to connect with his family and this changes his actions from normal to unnatural. He does things he wouldn’t normally do, and he does this to gain acceptance and belong. And he uses his parents excuse as a determinant for his own irascible behaviour. But he changes his Identity to connect with others, as he was over the feeling of isolation and feeling of unimportance. He found need help from friends and his father to turn him on the right road. However in a family that connects in unison the family is something that they can rely on for support and a feeling of self-worth. Individuals often leave their families traditions to gain affiliation elsewhere. Though after the sense of affiliation is gained from others we often return to our families and continue our family traditions. In the anthology of short stories Growing Up Asian in Australia, edited by Alice Pung, this notion is exemplified in “The Relative Advantages of Learning My Language”. Amy Choi explores how she resisted a connection with her grandfather and ignored him. The connection was speaking in Chinese as he couldn’t speak English well, ‘though I was raised speaking Chinese, it wasn’t long before I lost my language skills. I spoke English all day at school, listened to English all night on TV.’ Besides this after he died she realised that her family was an integral part of her identity. She re-learnt Chinese and found her true self and had no regrets. Therefore our connections with our family can either strengthen or weaken distinctiveness, and we may often have to change to be accepted.

Additionally adolescents often change their culture and traditions to connect, and gain a sense of social integration. Teens often change traditions and try to hide their cultural background because it isn’t seen as being normal. But as it’s intrinsic to motivate yourself to gain a fit in, and henceforth gain a sense of affiliation, they attempt to belong without a disparity being noted. However as a result they often lose their true self as they are neglecting their distinctive background. This notion of changing your identity to be accepted is also explored in sticks and stones” of Growing up Asian in Australia“, where Sunil who wrote the piece explores his childhood. Sunil evidently different to Australians was mocked and bullied due to his differences, and often hit. Therefore Sunil tries to lessen the difference by changing his name. Yet his mother notices the name change and is utterly disappointed as it meant something to her. She makes Sunil realise the importance of his name and what it means to her. In consequence he changes his name and realises the importance of it, he learns to grow to it and accepts Sunil as Sunil. His chances to connect may be lowered however he will still be able to connect with his family, and anyone who is willing to connect with him, while keeping his true identity. Conversely some adolescents don’t change their name to fit in; they find someone similar where there is little to no disparity. This is concept is also explored in “We-li and me” of Growing up Asian in Australia. Where the protagonist ‘me’ and we-li are being bullied by students in their class because of their differences. They gain a solid friendship due to both being able to connect with one another; there friendship gives them a needed sense of social integration. Moreover this concept is not only portrayed fictionally, in Melbourne there are several suburbs highly populated with immigrants. They stick together and keep their cultural traditions and identity. As a result when a difference is noted individuals often change to fit in or meet someone else with a similar background, to gain the much needed feeling of acceptance and self-worth.

Furthermore learning our own identity from our self is just as important as learning it from others. Subjective experiences can help you understand yourself even more, by reflecting on these personal experiences we can find who we really are. This is view is explored in “Towards manhood” of Growing up Asian in Australia, where the protagonist Benjamin struggles to belong in his karate club. Although there was no connection to this club, he was still able to find his true self. Ben found out that he was a homosexual from his deep inner thoughts. However the cognitive theory suggests this statement is incorrect, and proposes that” people do not learn new behaviours solely by trying them and either succeeding or failing, but rather, the survival of humanity is dependent upon the replication of the actions of others.” This proposal depicts that we do not learn new behaviours from attempting, but rather by watching. Chuck Palahniuk’s ’statement also strengthens this theorem. “Nothing of me is original. I am a combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known. Stating that everybody has changed him, and impacted on his identity in some way. Subsequently our experiences with others and our own personal thoughts are merely as important as each other.

For these reasons it is evident that connections are needed to develop our true self, to gain a sense of affiliation and self-worth. But we can often find the intricacies of our identity can be found through our own person thoughts and self-realisations. May individuals find out their sexuality within their inner thoughts like Benjamin. But although this self-actualization was found Ben still needs to belong, because the without a feeling of self-worth we can often go into isolation, and therefore not find the real ‘me’.

[werdna]

‘Without connection to others there is no me.’

“We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.” Think of a more unique and creative intro starter. Quotes are overused Leo Buscaglias’ statement shows Avoid this word the importance of being loved, and the need to connect with society Grammatically incorrect sentence - badly constructed. He further explains that without connection and love from others’ No need for possessive here we undoubtedly change and ‘cease to grow’. However, it is often stated that we learn our true self from our personal experiences and thoughts Very unclear and wordy , and hence find out who we are Say something more elaborate and high level about identity by ourselves. But although we may find ourselves through our own personal experiences and thoughts we must connect to find a sense of social integration, otherwise a feeling of uselessness and isolation will be sought Weakly expressed . Moreover Comma being able to have a sense of social integration can become difficult due to the complexities of belonging and people opinions. When a disparity is noted people of change their identity to be similar and therefore there is connection but not the real ‘me’. Keeping to your Suddenly moving into 2nd person? Stick to one tense. true self and connecting to others is essential for a healthy lifestyle and wellbeing, to help us See how you moved from 'you' and 'your' to 'us' and 'our'? The lapses in tense and form detract from the whole flow of the intro. A very bad final impression on the intro. Be consistent!!! find our true self we often return or talk to the people closest to us, our family. Finish with a closing statement that draws together all the arguments and elements, not just stating one of the arguments.

Our family’s actions and lifestyle has grown upon us from birth, they teach us how to behave, influence us on whom to be friends with, and we inherit their hobbies Good point but very very unclear!! . Our families have a huge impact in determining our identity How? and this can ultimately impact on our behaviour with others. Nevertheless if one does not connect with their family in unity this can become a burden. Consequently individuals often use their families as a determinant for their own bad behaviour and this can be deleterious to how they are seen in society. In the film Life as a House directed by Irwin Winkler Comma Sam the protagonist struggles to connect with his family and this changes his actions from normal to unnatural. He does things he wouldn’t normally do, and he does this to gain acceptance and belong Don't say 'belong' - overused. It needs to be defined, contexualised and interpreted. What is the meaning of belonging in this film? Is it to adapt, conform, integrate, feel accepted? And Bad sentence structure he uses his parents excuse as a determinant for his own irascible behaviour. But he changes his Identity to connect with others, as he was over the feeling of isolation and feeling of unimportance. He found need help from friends and his father to turn him on the right road. However in a family that connects in unison the family is something that they can rely on for support and a feeling of self-worth. Individuals often leave their families traditions to gain affiliation elsewhere. Though after the sense of affiliation is gained from others we often return to our families and continue our family traditions. In the anthology of short stories Growing Up Asian in Australia Underline collection title, edited by Alice Pung, this notion is exemplified in “The Relative Advantages of Learning My Language”. Amy Choi explores how she resisted a connection with her grandfather and ignored him. The connection was speaking in Chinese as he couldn’t Avoid contractions. Say 'could not' speak English well, ‘though I was raised speaking Chinese, it wasn’t long before I lost my language skills. I spoke English all day at school, listened to English all night on TV.’ Perhaps consider breaking up the quotes? Besides this after he died she realised that her family was an integral part of her identity. She re-learnt Chinese and found her true self and had no regrets. Therefore our connections with our family can either strengthen or weaken distinctiveness, and we may often have to change to be accepted. Good point, but you haven't expressed it clearly enough

Additionally adolescents often change their culture and traditions to connect, and gain a sense of social integration. Teens often change traditions and try to hide their cultural background because it isn’t Avoid contractions seen as being normal. But as it’s intrinsic to motivate yourself 2nd person again to gain a fit in, and henceforth gain a sense of affiliation, they attempt to belong without a disparity being noted. However as a result they often lose their true self as they are neglecting Avoid the -ing words if you can. Say 'neglect' rather than 'neglecting' as it is more concise and punchy their distinctive background. This notion of changing your identity to be accepted is also explored in sticks and stones” of Growing up Asian in Australia“, where Sunil who wrote the piece explores his childhood. Sunil evidently different to Australians was mocked and bullied due to his differences, and often hit. Therefore Comma!!!! Sunil tries to lessen the difference by changing his name. Yet his mother notices the name change and is utterly disappointed as it meant something to her. She makes Sunil realise the importance of his name and what it means to her. In consequence he changes his name and realises the importance of it, he learns to grow to it and accepts Sunil as Sunil. His chances to connect may be lowered however he will still be able to connect with his family, and anyone who is willing to connect with him, while keeping his true identity. Conversely some adolescents don’t change their name to fit in; they find someone similar where there is little to no disparity. This is concept is also explored in “We-li and me” of Growing up Asian in Australia. Where the protagonist ‘me’ and we-li are being bullied by students in their class because of their differences. They gain a solid friendship due to both being able to connect with one another; there friendship gives them a needed sense of social integration. Moreover this concept is not only portrayed fictionally, in Melbourne there are several suburbs highly populated with immigrants. Use a more unique example... But if you want to stick with it, at least bring in some interesting facts or ideas about migrationThey stick together and keep their cultural traditions and identity. As a result when a difference is noted individuals often change to fit in or meet someone else with a similar background, to gain the much needed feeling of acceptance and self-worth.

Furthermore learning our own identity from our self Weak expression is just as important as learning it from others. Subjective experiences can help you understand yourself even more, by reflecting on these personal experiences we can find who we really are. This is view is explored Watch your sentence structure in “Towards manhood” of Growing up Asian in Australia, where the protagonist Benjamin struggles to belong in his karate club. Although there was no connection to this club, he was still able to find his true self. Ben found out that he was a homosexual from his deep inner thoughts. However the cognitive theory suggests this statement is incorrect, and proposes that” people do not learn new behaviours solely by trying them and either succeeding or failing, but rather, the survival of humanity is dependent upon the replication of the actions of others.” This proposal depicts that we do not learn new behaviours from attempting, but rather by watching. Hmm... this story isn't explored and discussed well enough. Provide quotes. Chuck Palahniuk’s ’statement also strengthens this theorem. “Nothing of me is original. I am a combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known. Stating that everybody has changed him, and impacted on his identity in some way. Subsequently our experiences with others and our own personal thoughts are merely as important as each other. Bring it back to the prompt.

For these reasons it is evident that connections are needed to develop our true self, to gain a sense of affiliation and self-worth. But we can often find the intricacies of our identity  can be found through our own person thoughts and self-realisations. May individuals find out their sexuality within their inner thoughts like Benjamin. But although this self-actualization was found Ben still needs to belong, because the without a feeling of self-worth we can often go into isolation, and therefore not find the real ‘me’. Personally did not use the word 'me' in this exam essay because it does not match the tense of the whole essay. It is first person, and you also have the 2nd person 'your' and 3rd person 'us' in this essay - it would not read well to have all 3 tenses in this essay.

Comments:

Overall, a good start to the year I think... You've got the ideas down but you need to pad them out and really delve deeper into the concepts and examples. Provide more quotes, keep referring back to the prompt subtly & make sure that you are consistent with your tenses. One thing you really need to work on over the year is your sentence structure and expression - these are extremely important. Watch your punctuation, find ways to 'stand out' in this commonly used essay style and do not forget to allude to both I AND B. Well done.

Score:

 6.5/10

[unfamila]

Thanks werdna, my expression is always a problem when i write, but i have no idea how to improve it really. ANY TIPS on what to do, and what not to. Also sentence structure what do you mean by this? The way i structure sentences in a paragraph? the ordering of ideas? or more the single sentence itself?

thanks MK5doubleu

[werdna]

Expression - read your work aloud or at least in your head. Anything that doesn't sound remotely clear needs to be rephrased.

Sentence structure - how you construct your sentences, sentence lengths, conciseness etc.

[FlorianK]

I'll try to add some comments in read, but it won't be too much since a great proportion of my writing skills are werdna's merits

‘Without connection to others there is no me.’

“We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.” Think of a more unique and creative intro starter. Quotes are overused I used to start with quotes as well since it is a very easy start. However I found starting with a metaphor, maybe initially harder, but in the end easier and as well easier to develop an essay from there. I do think that quotes work well as an ending.Leo Buscaglias’ statement shows depicts, illustrate etc. there are heaps of synonyms for 'shows' Avoid this word the importance of being loved, and the need to connect with society Grammatically incorrect sentence - badly constructed. He further explains that without connection and love from others’ No need for possessive here we undoubtedly change and ‘cease to grow’don't quote your quote, this is another reason not to use Island-quotes. However, it is often stated that we learn our true self from our personal experiences 'personal experiences' are mostly interactions imo and thoughts Very unclear and wordy , and hence the repetetive use of 'and' sounds really ESL-like find out who we are Say something more elaborate and high level about identity by ourselves. But although we may find ourselves through our own personal experiences and thoughts we must connect to find a sense of social integration, otherwise a feeling of uselessness and isolation will be sought Weakly expressed . Moreover Comma being able to have a sense of social integration can become difficult due to the complexities of belonging and people opinionsthat are?. When a disparity is noted people often change their identity to be similar and therefore there is connection but not the real ‘me’ How does 'connection' and 'the real me' stand in contrast?. Keeping to your Suddenly moving into 2nd person? Stick to one tense. true self and connecting to others is essential for a healthy lifestyle and wellbeing, to help us See how you moved from 'you' and 'your' to 'us' and 'our'? The lapses in tense and form detract from the whole flow of the intro. A very bad final impression on the intro. Be consistent!!! find our true self we often return or talk to the people closest to us, our family. Finish with a closing statement that draws together all the arguments and elements, not just stating one of the arguments.
Work on your structe to be more precice. Towards the end of the intro it sounds alot like rambling and the whole essay doesn't sound really rounded up.

Our family’s actions and lifestyle has grown upon us from birth, they teach us how to behave, influence us on whom to be friends with, and we inherit their hobbies Good point but very very unclear!! . Our families have a huge impact in determining our identity How? and this can ultimately impact on our behaviour with others. Nevertheless if one does not connect with their family in unity this can become a burdenWhy?Examples?. Consequently individuals often use their families as a determinant are you using the correct word here? for their own bad behaviour and this can be deleterious to how they are seen in society. In the film Life as a House directed by Irwin Winkler Comma Sam descriptive character word is missing the protagonist struggles to connect with his family and this changes his actions from normal to unnatural. He does things don't say 'things'!!!  he wouldn’t normally doExamples!!!, and he does this to gain acceptance and belong Don't say 'belong' - overused. It needs to be defined, contexualised and interpreted. What is the meaning of belonging in this film? Is it to adapt, conform, integrate, feel accepted? And Bad sentence structure he uses his parents excuse as a determinant for his own irascible I haven't watched the film, but are you sure about the meaning of 'irascible'? behaviour. But he changes his Identity to connect with others, as he was over the feeling Don't use colloquial language in an essay of isolation and feeling of unimportance. He found need help ?!? from friends and his father to turn him on the right road. However in a family that connects in unison I know what you mean, but its not "connect in unison" the family is something that they can rely on for support and a feeling of self-worth. Individuals often leave their families traditions to gain affiliation elsewhere. Though after the sense of affiliation is gained from others we often return to our families and continue our family traditions. In the anthology of short stories Growing Up Asian in Australia Underline collection title, edited by Alice Pung, this notion is exemplified in “The Relative Advantages of Learning My Language”. Amy Choi explores how she resisted a connection with her grandfather and ignored him. The connection was speaking in Chinese as he couldn’t Avoid contractions. Say 'could not' speak English well, ‘though I was raised speaking Chinese, it wasn’t long before I lost my language skills. I spoke English all day at school, listened to English all night on TV.’ Perhaps consider breaking up the quotes? Besides this after he died she realised that her family was an integral part of her identity. She re-learnt Chinese and found her true self and had no regrets. Therefore our connections with our family can either strengthen or weaken distinctiveness, and we may often have to change to be accepted. Good point, but you haven't expressed it clearly enough
You really need to work on your clearity and preciceness as well as developing a more engaging phraseoligy. This body paragraph is also very superficial and in some parts doesn't adress the prompt very well.

Additionally adolescents often change their culture and traditions to connect, and gain a sense of social integration Try to open up with a broader statement and be more narrow in the rest. Teens often change traditions and try to hide their cultural background because it isn’t Avoid contractions seen as being normal. But as it’s intrinsic are you sure about the meaning of this word, because I think you're not to motivate yourself 2nd person again to gain a fit in, and henceforth 'henceforth' is different to hence gain a sense of affiliation, they attempt to belong without a disparity being noted Really unclear and badly worded sentence. However as a result they often lose their true self as they are neglecting Avoid the -ing words if you can. Say 'neglect' rather than 'neglecting' as it is more concise and punchy their distinctive background Why should your background be a depiction of your true self and AVOID absolutes!!!.. ThisThe notion idea of changing your identity to be accepted is also explored in sticks and stones” of Growing up Asian in Australia“As stated above underline the name of the text, where Sunil descriptive character word? who wrote the piece so ... the writer.  Your expression sounds like my writing when I came to australia explores his childhood. Sunil evidently evidently is not a verb different to Australians was mocked and bullied due to his differences, and often hit. Therefore Comma!!!! Sunil tries to lessen the difference by changing his name. Yet his mother notices the name change and is utterly disappointed as it meant something to her. She makes Sunil realise the importance of his name and what it means to her. In consequence he changes his name and realises the importance of it, he learns to grow to it and accepts Sunil as Sunil. His chances to connect may be lowered however he will still be able to connect with his family, and anyone who is willing to connect with him, while keeping his true identity. Analyse and don't retell the plot, this is even more important in context than it is in TR. Also you neglected that his mother lied to him Conversely some adolescents don’t change their name to fit inI'm sure 99% of people [besides asians who 'aussify' their names] do not change their names; they find someone similar where there is little to no disparity. This is concept word on your expression, it really sounds like the rest of my ESL-class is also explored in “We-li and me” of Growing up Asian in Australia. Where the protagonist ‘me’ and we-li are being bullied by students in their class because of their differences. They gain a solid friendship due to both being able to connect with one another; there friendship gives them a needed sense of social integration But what does this story tell us? The reader should not need to intepret your retelling of plot, this is your job. Moreover this concept is not only portrayed fictionally this is REALLY important, Growing Up Asian in Australia is NOT a fictional anthology!!!!!, in Melbourne there are several suburbs highly populated with immigrants. Use a more unique example... But if you want to stick with it, at least bring in some interesting facts or ideas about migrationThey stick together and keep their cultural traditions and identity. As a result when a difference is noted individuals often change to fit in or meet someone else with a similar background, to gain the much needed feeling of acceptance and self-worth.
You need to end each body paraghraph with a profound statement that links back to the prompt. Also you need to analyse your examples looking at TEEL you are at the moment having the structure TE, and the EL is missing.


Furthermore Shouldn't this paragraph oppose the other ones? learning our own identity from our self Weak expression is just as important as learning it from othersThis is not what the prompt is about. Subjective experiences can help you understand yourself even more, by reflecting on these personal experiences we can find who we really are. This is view ESL-like writing. I hate saying this because it is kinda derogratory towards ESL-kids, but I hope nobody will take this the wrong way. is explored Watch your sentence structure in “Towards manhood” of Growing up Asian in Australia, where the protagonist Benjamin descriptive character word struggles to belong in his karate club. Although there was no connection to this club, he was still able to find his true self So the only interaction he has in his life is his karate club?. Ben found out that he was a homosexual from his deep inner thoughts. However the cognitive theory suggests this statement is incorrect, and proposes that” people do not learn new behaviours solely by trying them and either succeeding or failing, but rather, the survival of humanity is dependent upon the replication of the actions of others.” This proposal depicts that we do not learn new behaviours from attempting, but rather by watching. Hmm... this story isn't explored and discussed well enough. Provide quotes. Chuck Palahniuk’s ’statement also strengthens this theorem. “Nothing of me is original. I am a combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known. Stating that everybody has changed him, and impacted on his identity in some way. Subsequently our experiences with others and our own personal thoughts are merely as important as each other. Bring it back to the prompt.
The statement by Palahniuk destroys the rest of the paragraph since you state your thoughts about the prompt and the you say that it is all bullshit what you just wrote. Also Palahniuk is a philosopher, hence it is not really evidence.

For these reasons Very bad start it is evident that connections are needed to develop our true self, to gain a sense of affiliation and self-worth. But we can often find the intricacies of our identity  can be found through our own person thoughts and self-realisations. May individuals find out their sexuality within their inner thoughts like Benjamin. But although this self-actualization was found Ben still needs to belong, because the without a feeling of self-worth we can often go into isolation, and therefore not find the real ‘me’. Personally did not use the word 'me' in this exam essay because it does not match the tense of the whole essay. It is first person, and you also have the 2nd person 'your' and 3rd person 'us' in this essay - it would not read well to have all 3 tenses in this essay.

Comments:

Overall, a good start to the year I think... You've got the ideas down but you need to pad them out and really delve deeper into the concepts and examples. Provide more quotes, keep referring back to the prompt subtly & make sure that you are consistent with your tenses. One thing you really need to work on over the year is your sentence structure and expression - these are extremely important. Watch your punctuation, find ways to 'stand out' in this commonly used essay style and do not forget to allude to both I AND B. Well done.

Skilful shaping of ideas, arguments and language appropriate to the chosen from, audience and context - 5/10, due to the lack of structure in your essay and the very strong lack of clarity in your expressions

Sophisticates understanding of complex ideas and arguments relevant to the chosen Context and presented in selected text; a demonstrated ability to draw on and develop these in creation of your own text – 4/10, since it was a bit off topic and the reader was enriched in understanding of the topic, which was due to it being very superficial AND because you did not state what the meaning of your examples are.

Highly expressive, fluent and coherent writing. 6/10 – strong lack of flow, missuse of vocab at times and some expression were quite ESL-like.

Overall:
5/10

mk5w, I know this marking has all looked really harsh. But don't be dragged down by it, be motivated.  This  definetly has the base of an EXCELLENT essay and you're definetly ahead of most of the state, [you should've seen my writing at this stage in time haha, you'd laugh so hard]– the only problem is that it’s very messy, technically speaking, and you really need to clean things up.  Take in the advice, and keep up the good work ethic.

Score:

 6.5/10[/b]

Since, when are you marking lenient?

[Stick]

Since, when are you marking lenient?

I think the entire forum probably marks a bit harsh. If I posted up my GAT essays (which were pretty substandard in quality) I probably would've gotten a 5/10, yet the examiners all gave me 8/10 for them. I think it's because everyone who posts essays up where has the right mindset and we don't get to see a lot of the stuff written by the 'ordinary' student which makes up a large portion of the VCE English population.

[FlorianK]

I think the entire forum probably marks a bit harsh. If I posted up my GAT essays (which were pretty substandard in quality) I probably would've gotten a 5/10, yet the examiners all gave me 8/10 for them. I think it's because everyone who posts essays up where has the right mindset and we don't get to see a lot of the stuff written by the 'ordinary' student which makes up a large portion of the VCE English population.

I used to be werdna's student and upon relection he'd not have given me 6.5/10 for an essay of this quality.

[Stick]

Fair enough. I think though as a whole that everyone probably marks a bit harsh.

[brenden]

If someone wanted us to hold back or go easy they wouldn't be worth the effort. And yes FlorianK I know what you mean hahaha

[unfamila]

thanks again FLorianK, wernda, stick, brend4n.
I might put another one up b4 i go back to school.
And try to work on my expression

[werdna]

I used to be werdna's student and upon relection he'd not have given me 6.5/10 for an essay of this quality.

Hahaha Florian! Great stuff with the marking....

[pi]

I think the entire forum probably marks a bit harsh. If I posted up my GAT essays (which were pretty substandard in quality) I probably would've gotten a 5/10, yet the examiners all gave me 8/10 for them. I think it's because everyone who posts essays up where has the right mindset and we don't get to see a lot of the stuff written by the 'ordinary' student which makes up a large portion of the VCE English population.

I don't think English exams compare with GAT essays. Why? Because no-one really knows what a 10/10 GAT essay looks like and hence there really isn't a benchmark. Also, it's the GAT, 'nuff said. If someone asked me to mark their GAT essay I'd give it pi/10 every time for trying.

Harsh marking is better than giving false hope imo, I got ripped apart a few times on here and I think I benefited for it

edit: necro-ing this just to justify that harsh marking is a /good/ thing