No i think that's definitely fine!
I just want to be clear on what you mean by the unnatural position? Do you mean, the position of women who have broken the bounds of the place the patriarchal demands sits them? What do you mean by unnatural? What is the unnatural treatment?
The link seems great, and your writing is very well articulated, but I just don't know what you mean by unnatural..
Providing a feminist critical theory to Hersey's work could be beneficial for linking, but don't force it if it isn't natural. You could be a little intersectional with this as well, and take on a marxist (class-based) reading that links the two together, if one lends itself to the other more.
Let me know your thoughts on unnatural and then I can be more critical in my advice to be more helpful!
hi,
sorry, I think i realised later on that my wording was unclear and changed my t.s a little
i now mean that it is unnatural to have an all-male power structure in society, because the world is not all-male.
(does that make sense or should I articulate it further in my essay?)
thanks for the advice!
btw this is the paragraph can you please tell me what you think?
thank you!!
Influenced by a growing defiance of conservative societal values, composers writing in the post-bomb period pursue questions of the power of women in an unnatural patriarchal society. Such is true of Plath, a confessional poet, grappling with her identity alone, as a female in the early ‘60s. As Simone de Beauvoir remarks, “the destiny that society traditionally offers women is marriage”. Plath acknowledges this likelihood, but attempts to dismiss it within the connotations imposed upon the word “I ordered” bringing to light the dichotomous thematic concerns over power and subjugation, nonetheless, foreshadowing her superiority complex. The persona establishes her dominance over the bees in the truncated sentence “I am the owner”: a direct defiance of post-war societal values. However, the audience sees a tonal shift in the sixth paragraph, where the persona wonders “how hungry they are” and debates freeing them: alluding to the myth of Daphne. This volte-face succeeds her epiphany that the bees, like her, are victims. However, the persona does not consider herself a mother to the bees, rather, a ‘protector’; diction free from gender bias. This echoes the persona’s disengagement with her identity as a mother in ‘Morning Song’, utilizing sibilance as the baby “shadows our safety”. As De Beauvoir colloquially states, a woman may feel detached from her child as “she has no past in common with this little stranger”, which is why the persona of ‘Arrival of the Bee Box’ does not identify with the term ‘mother’. Hence, it is this power struggle the persona faces that allows Plath to attempt to understand the position of women in an unnatural patriarchal society.