English Advanced Help Needed

[simonpham]

Hey fam,
First up I'd start with the structure of your essay, you've got good ideas but you have to plan it out in a way that clarifies them. Have a topic sentence for each paragraph that really answers the question. Give an insight about it thats clear. Why does fulfilment matter? What is it about needing fulfilment that is so inherently human?
And then plan out your paragraphs that go deeply into that with clear textual analysis that backs up your point.

Hey, would you mind checking my essay and give me a few pointers as to what I should be addressing next? Thank you in advanced.

[Lottie99]

You probably need to engage more strongly with why they have been called that rather than just saying that they have

[studybuddy7777]

Hey simonpham, unfortunately you need 15 (or 30?) posts on ATARnotes to get this essay marked. Also when you have done so, could you please pop it in the
English Advanced- Essay marking thread (either AoS, Mod A, Mod B or Mod C)

Thanks and hope you get great feedback! Looking forward to seeing some new faces around here!

[simonpham]

You probably need to engage more strongly with why they have been called that rather than just saying that they have

How would I do that and do I explain that all in the beginning or do I spread it out?

[Stefan K]

Hi guys, I know this might sound a bit dumb but this is a serious question. How do you get into the A range for english? I've always gotten one or two marks off and never quite clearly understood how to improve. I know I have been a bit lazy with asking teachers and getting help earlier but I guess it's better late than never to ask. 

Thank you

[onepunchboy]

What my teacher told me as a useful tip was to add in the impact words. While they might not guarantee you that extra 1 mark, markers will look upon your essay more favourably as it demonstrates that you understand how to use language effectively.

E.g. words like provocative, skilfully, powerfully, successively, effectively, potent etc.

They increase the sophistication of your response. I hope this advice helps!

[Blissfulmelodii]

Hi guys, I know this might sound a bit dumb but this is a serious question. How do you get into the A range for english? I've always gotten one or two marks off and never quite clearly understood how to improve. I know I have been a bit lazy with asking teachers and getting help earlier but I guess it's better late than never to ask. 

Thank you

Do you mean in terms of your Essay writing, creative writing or comprehension??

[jakesilove]

Hi guys, I know this might sound a bit dumb but this is a serious question. How do you get into the A range for english? I've always gotten one or two marks off and never quite clearly understood how to improve. I know I have been a bit lazy with asking teachers and getting help earlier but I guess it's better late than never to ask. 

Thank you

I think that some of the most important factors in a high range essay include the following.

Thesis

This is seriously important. My general recommendation is the write out your thesis statement at the start, or in your introduction. Make sure that you're building an argument around the thesis, and consistently referring back to it. Don't just analyse quotes because that's what you think you have to do; analyse quotes to prove a point!

Formality and confidence

Make your language as formal as possible, being as confident as you can. It's important that you ooze confidence, because a marker can really see that.

Have enough quotes and techniques

This is pretty self-explanatory

Thesis building

Have a thesis that builds on itself, that's a bit more nuanced than the standard thesis. Make a point, and investigate WHY that point is true, or if there are any factors that could influence its truth.

Those are my main tips right now!

[Stefan K]

Thanks guys!! This really helped

[simonpham]

Hey, could somebody tell me what I should be writing next? Just afraid of retelling the story.

Question 10 — Elective 1: Representing People and Politics (20 marks) ‘Political motivations may be ambiguous, but control is the ultimate goal.’
Evaluate this statement with detailed reference to your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing.

Political motivations may be ambiguous, but control is the ultimate goal. In 'To Kill A Mockingbird', political motivations is gaining authority and justice, but in 'The Crucible', political motivations is about power and oppression, which leads to control being the ultimate goal. In 'The Crucible', power is possessed in Danforth, Abigail and Reverend Parris, but Abigail wants to possess the most control.

[Blissfulmelodii]

Hey, could somebody tell me what I should be writing next? Just afraid of retelling the story.

Question 10 — Elective 1: Representing People and Politics (20 marks) ‘Political motivations may be ambiguous, but control is the ultimate goal.’
Evaluate this statement with detailed reference to your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing.

Political motivations may be ambiguous, but control is the ultimate goal. In 'To Kill A Mockingbird', political motivations is gaining authority and justice, but in 'The Crucible', political motivations is about power and oppression, which leads to control being the ultimate goal. In 'The Crucible', power is possessed in Danforth, Abigail and Reverend Parris, but Abigail wants to possess the most control.

hey simonpham,
Being a current year 12 student I don't have any expertise so feel free to ignore what I say...
Firstly when teachers suggest you rework the question as your starting line, they actually mean rewrite the question using your own interpretation of what you believe the question is asking so i personally think you should rewrite your first sentence so that it is slightly different to the actual statement (i.e. Political power comes from obtaining utmost control through any measure deemed necessarily hence the representation of motives can be ambiguous...)  That's just an example (possibly not the best but I hope it makes it clear). Also when you mention your concepts in each of your text i would also do a quick sentence about how the author has shown it (i.e. when you say to kill a mockingbird is about gaining authority and justice mention something about how it is done so something like "through the representation of..." or "the composer has done this by..."

I haven't studied those texts so I can't really be too specific (sorry!) but hope this helps 

[ssarahj]

hey simonpham,
Being a current year 12 student I don't have any expertise so feel free to ignore what I say...

I haven't studied those texts so I can't really be too specific (sorry!) but hope this helps 

Cheers for getting involved and helping out Blissfulmelodii! The fact that you're a Year 12 student and you're actually doing HSC English right now means you have at least half the expertise to give advice! 

[Blissfulmelodii]

Cheers for getting involved and helping out Blissfulmelodii! The fact that you're a Year 12 student and you're actually doing HSC English right now means you have at least half the expertise to give advice! 

Haha thank you! I just hope my advice isn't completely off lol
Just trying to channel my ext 2 English teacher...