Module C Speech Paragraph

[angewina_naguen]

Hey, there!

I'm just requesting some feedback on a paragraph from my Module C speech which answers the question How does your chosen text relate to the module 'Representing People and Politics?' I chose Orwell's 'Why I Write' for my related text.

Orwell’s essay identifies and explores collective motivations of American writers in producing prose, particularly within his own context. The typesetting of this essay visually stimulates notions of revolt and political absolutism, contributing to the composition of Orwell’s political commentary. By employing italics, the author emphasizes the way his narratives are written “against totalitarianism and for democratic socialism,” further noting that it would be “nonsense in a period of (his) own, to think one could avoid writing about such subjects.” This solidifies Orwell ongoing observation of the shared political agendas that all writers of his time are pushing for. Orwell believes that writers address these contentious ideas in their works to “alter other people’s ideas of the kind of society they should strive after.” Therefore, this critical response clarifies a political instability within American society and the impulses of writers to address these shared concerns through representations in texts.

Any feedback will be greatly appreciated! 

[elysepopplewell]

Hey, there!

I'm just requesting some feedback on a paragraph from my Module C speech which answers the question How does your chosen text relate to the module 'Representing People and Politics?' I chose Orwell's 'Why I Write' for my related text.

Orwell’s essay identifies and explores collective motivations of American writers in producing prose, particularly within his own context. The typesetting of this essay visually stimulates notions of revolt and political absolutism, contributing to the composition of Orwell’s political commentary. By employing italics, the author emphasizes the way his narratives are written “against totalitarianism and for democratic socialism,” further noting that it would be “nonsense in a period of (his) own, to think one could avoid writing about such subjects.” This solidifies Orwell ongoing observation of the shared political agendas that all writers of his time are pushing for. Orwell believes that writers address these contentious ideas in their works to “alter other people’s ideas of the kind of society they should strive after.” Therefore, this critical response clarifies a political instability within American society and the impulses of writers to address these shared concerns through representations in texts.

Any feedback will be greatly appreciated! 

Hey there! I read Why I Write at the beginning of Ext 1 - I loved it, I MUST read it again soon!

Orwell’s essay identifies and explores collective motivations of American writers in producing prose, particularly within his own context. The typesetting of this essay visually stimulates notions of revolt and political absolutism, contributing to the composition of Orwell’s political commentary. By employing italics, the author emphasizes the way his narratives are written “against totalitarianism and for democratic socialism,” further noting that it would be “nonsense in a period of (his) own, to think one could avoid writing about such subjects.” This solidifies Orwell ongoing observation of the shared political agendas that all writers of his time are pushing for. Orwell believes that writers address these contentious ideas in their works to “alter other people’s ideas of the kind of society they should strive after.” Therefore, this critical response clarifies a political instability within American society and the impulses of writers to address these shared concerns through representations in texts.

Your writing here is so tight and succinct, it's a pleasure to read. My only suggestion is that you tackle "representation" a little more. It's implicitly approached, and at the end you've put it in the final sentence. But if you really grapple with the idea of what it means to represent a relationship between people and politics, in a literary way, then I think you open up the discussion for analysis much more.

I hope this makes sense! You've got great work here

[angewina_naguen]

Hey there! I read Why I Write at the beginning of Ext 1 - I loved it, I MUST read it again soon!

Orwell’s essay identifies and explores collective motivations of American writers in producing prose, particularly within his own context. The typesetting of this essay visually stimulates notions of revolt and political absolutism, contributing to the composition of Orwell’s political commentary. By employing italics, the author emphasizes the way his narratives are written “against totalitarianism and for democratic socialism,” further noting that it would be “nonsense in a period of (his) own, to think one could avoid writing about such subjects.” This solidifies Orwell ongoing observation of the shared political agendas that all writers of his time are pushing for. Orwell believes that writers address these contentious ideas in their works to “alter other people’s ideas of the kind of society they should strive after.” Therefore, this critical response clarifies a political instability within American society and the impulses of writers to address these shared concerns through representations in texts.

Your writing here is so tight and succinct, it's a pleasure to read. My only suggestion is that you tackle "representation" a little more. It's implicitly approached, and at the end you've put it in the final sentence. But if you really grapple with the idea of what it means to represent a relationship between people and politics, in a literary way, then I think you open up the discussion for analysis much more.

I hope this makes sense! You've got great work here

Hey, Elyse!

Thank you for the feedback! Could I ask how I could show representation more explicitly? I was also recommended this by my tutor but am still a bit confused in how I should approach it.

Angelina

[elysepopplewell]

Hey, Elyse!

Thank you for the feedback! Could I ask how I could show representation more explicitly? I was also recommended this by my tutor but am still a bit confused in how I should approach it.

Angelina

Hey Angewina! Sure thing. Take the advice with a grain of salt because I've only seen this one paragraph of yours! But, think of it like this:

Through the very fact that someone has written something, they have literarily represented something that actually exists (or could exist). Nothing can be "real" in writing - it is just writing. So everything that is written is a written representation of a real concept, event, imagined notion, or scenario.

So put super simply: anything that has ever been written, sung, filmed, is a simulation of a reality or imagined reality. It is a representation. So, automatically, authors represent things through the fact that they have written. You haven't hugely got to change anything you've written, because everything you've written so far does address the fact that authors write with purpose, so it becomes about bringing the word "representation" to the forefront of your analysis in order to show your marker that you truly understand the author's intentions to represent something in a literary manner. You haven't got to change this drastically, just bring representation out to play a bit more.

Does this make sense?

[angewina_naguen]

Hey Angewina! Sure thing. Take the advice with a grain of salt because I've only seen this one paragraph of yours! But, think of it like this:

Through the very fact that someone has written something, they have literarily represented something that actually exists (or could exist). Nothing can be "real" in writing - it is just writing. So everything that is written is a written representation of a real concept, event, imagined notion, or scenario.

So put super simply: anything that has ever been written, sung, filmed, is a simulation of a reality or imagined reality. It is a representation. So, automatically, authors represent things through the fact that they have written. You haven't hugely got to change anything you've written, because everything you've written so far does address the fact that authors write with purpose, so it becomes about bringing the word "representation" to the forefront of your analysis in order to show your marker that you truly understand the author's intentions to represent something in a literary manner. You haven't got to change this drastically, just bring representation out to play a bit more.

Does this make sense?

Hey, Elyse!

Yes! I think I got it now  There was a missing piece and I think I just found it  Thank you so much for the help! I hope you have a good day!

Angelina

[jamonwindeyer]

Hey Angelina! I thought I'd throw my advice into here as well as Elyse's (since you are so helpful on the forums!) for me, my big bit of feedback would be an increased focus on techniques, which sort of ties into representation as discussed above. Composers represent and use techniques to add to those representations, to make them stronger.

Right now, you've only got one technique in this paragraph, the use of italics. Usually, I suggest three at minimum, but you do go into a lot of depth as to the significance of this one technique. Still, in my opinion, adding another technique (or multiple) and perhaps linking it to this same idea you are exploring, will make your paragraph more effective in an analytical sense

[angewina_naguen]

Hey Angelina! I thought I'd throw my advice into here as well as Elyse's (since you are so helpful on the forums!) for me, my big bit of feedback would be an increased focus on techniques, which sort of ties into representation as discussed above. Composers represent and use techniques to add to those representations, to make them stronger.

Right now, you've only got one technique in this paragraph, the use of italics. Usually, I suggest three at minimum, but you do go into a lot of depth as to the significance of this one technique. Still, in my opinion, adding another technique (or multiple) and perhaps linking it to this same idea you are exploring, will make your paragraph more effective in an analytical sense

Hey, Jamon!

Thank you for the feedback! In my Mod C essay I did two techniques per paragraph which I then rewrote for the speech but it went over time (I only get 3 and a half minutes which is a bit tricky) so I took them out and narrowed it down to one per paragraph. Is there another way I can bring in more representation in my analysis? 

Angelina 

[owidjaja]

Hey, Jamon!

Thank you for the feedback! In my Mod C essay I did two techniques per paragraph which I then rewrote for the speech but it went over time (I only get 3 and a half minutes which is a bit tricky) so I took them out and narrowed it down to one per paragraph. Is there another way I can bring in more representation in my analysis? 

Angelina

Hey there,
I did a speech as well (except it was on AOS and I had a powerpoint with me). I would suggest intertwining your techniques into your analysis.
Here's an example from my speech:
Despite Prospero’s monosyllabic listing of Ferdinand’s human qualities (as seen in the second quote), Miranda continues to elevate Ferdinand.

Do you kinda see how I mentioned monosyllables and the effect of the technique in my analysis? Through this, I was able to include at least three techniques in one text. Maybe have a go at that?

[angewina_naguen]

Hey there,
I did a speech as well (except it was on AOS and I had a powerpoint with me). I would suggest intertwining your techniques into your analysis.
Here's an example from my speech:
Despite Prospero’s monosyllabic listing of Ferdinand’s human qualities (as seen in the second quote), Miranda continues to elevate Ferdinand.

Do you kinda see how I mentioned monosyllables and the effect of the technique in my analysis? Through this, I was able to include at least three techniques in one text. Maybe have a go at that?

Hey, owidjaja!

Yes, I think I will! My quotes have two techniques I can derive from them. Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll take it on board 

Angelina