English advanced - discursive essay

[kelly.ly___]

Hey there, this is an english discursive essay that I've written and I'm not 100% sure if I'm doing this correctly or not, but could someone look over it and give me some feedback. Any feedback would be great.
Thanks!

What universal truth does Edgar Allen Poe’s The Tell Tale Heart and Mark Brozel’s Macbeth retold both entail?

Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Tell Tale Heart” is a piece that is loved by many, in which is closely relevant to the universal truth explored within Mark Brozel’s Macbeth Retold. The Tell Tale Heart and Macbeth Retold both delve into the universal truth of human guilt, following the journey of a main character who commits the sinful acts of murder in order to achieve what they truly desire. As a result of their decision, the human nature arises from within, only to bring forward the feeling of guilt, allowing the main characters of each story to be caught. Both stories accentuate this universal truth of guilt through the straining struggles in which the characters experience after committing the murder and the way this positions the audience as they follow along with the text.

The universal truth of human guilt is a strong feeling in which can manipulate one’s natural behaviours. People experiencing a strong sense of guilt would indicate that the individual has committed immoral acts in which has lead to a chain of catastrophic events, allowing them to feel immense guilt from causing these unfortunate incidents. As seen in Edgar Allen Poe’s “the Tell Tale Heart”, the main character’s initial desire was to murder the man who “had the eye of a vulture”. Throughout the story, he ended up committing the murder, later placing him in a situation of confrontation by the police. During this confrontation, he heard the sounds that “ a watch makes when enveloped in cotton,'' growing “louder -- louder -- louder” as time passed by. As the nature of human guilt continued to grow within him, he ended up confessing his sins as he yelled “ I admit the deed! -- tear up the planks! Here, here! -- It is the beating of his hideous heart!”. Similarly, in Mark Brozel’s “Macbeth Retold”, the head chef named Joe and his wife planned to murder Duncan, the owner of a high class restaurant in order to take ownership of it. As soon as the murder was committed, Joe had restless nights, along with his wife constantly washing the “blood” off her hands. As the guilt built up within both Joe and his wife, the wife decides to commit suicide while Joe was stabbed with a knife, leading to his demise. Through the comparison of both texts, this universal truth of human guilt is a feeling that is experienced by those who undertake wrongdoings, which can affect the natural behaviours of that individual.

Poe and Brozel both incorporate characters who commit an act of murder, leaving the audience to be shocked and disgusted by their repulsive actions towards the victim. As I was recently watching Brozel’s Macbeth Retold, the series of events leading up to the murder to Duncan was a very tedious process. From Joe’s acceptance of his position as the head chef, to the persuasion to kill Duncan from his wife, convincing him that he deserved to be in a better position, such as being able to take ownership of the restaurant. As the movie continued, although it did not show when Joe stabbed Duncan, it left me blankly staring at the screen disgusted at the dirty works that left Joe with the blood of Duncan on his bare hands. Similarly,  while reading Poe’s The Tell Tale Heart, the thorough description of his murderous acts left me confronted by the horrid circumstances that he placed himself in, leaving him feeling guilty as time passed. This universal truth of guilt leaves the audience shocked and uncomfortable as it is apart of human nature that only arises when committing wrongful acts, allowing the human body to act unnaturally in response to this guilty feeling.

To conclude, The Tell Tale Heart and Macbeth Retold written and directed by Edgar Allen Poe and Mark Brozel respectively, both explore the universal truth of human guilt within the characters of their story. This guilt is seen through the struggles experienced by the characters within the story and the response received by the audience viewing the text.

[stellaktenas]

Hey! Not an expert but I was always told that discursive essays should flow a tad bit more conversational than a formal essay. So, I'd recommend taking that into consideration a little more. The definition of a discursive text by NESA "texts whos primary focus is to explore a variety of ideas without the intention of persuading". While you have done this and they can be formal in tone, I think your response would stand out a little more if you take a less formal and structured approach and make it more conceptual. To do this you could maybe include a motif that represents you topic in your introduction and weave it throughout, a personal anecdote to open that you bookend with. You can find great examples of this by reading opinion pieces in newspapers like the Guardian and just adopt a less persuasive/ modal register.