Thesis statement feedback and discussion thread

[gilliesb18]

Hellop!!
Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but does anyone have any tips for a listening task that we have for discovery tomorrow? We get to listen to the text twice, then we have to answer short answer questions, then write an essay on that area of discovery...
Any tips as to how to study for it would be vvv muchly so appreciated

Thanks once again!!

[prickles]

Hellop!!
Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but does anyone have any tips for a listening task that we have for discovery tomorrow? We get to listen to the text twice, then we have to answer short answer questions, then write an essay on that area of discovery...
Any tips as to how to study for it would be vvv muchly so appreciated

Thanks once again!!

The advanced/standard English Question thread would have probably been a better place to post it, but you'll still get a response here 
Basically, the first time you listen to it, try to pull out key themes, ideas, and types of discoveries from the rubric. Do you get the questions before you hear the listening? If so, that could give you an indication of what discoveries to listen out for!
The second time you should basically be writing down as much of the text word for word as possible - you will need a few good quotes for your responses and your essay. Don't try analyse them too much while the text is being played, you might hear another quote while you are writing. So just try to get as much of the text written down as possible.
For the essay, you may be able to look the text up, as you will know its content. This could provide more accurate quotes/context etc.

Studying is hard, as you don't know the exact content, so basically look over your rubric, know your different types of discoveries, have a bank of techniques you can use, practice off past papers if you have them?

Hope this helps, and good luck!

[gilliesb18]

Aw yep dur me ....
Ok, I'll do that. Nope we have to listen to the text once without writing any notes, then listen again and we can write notes, then we have to answer the questions after that...
Ok, thats a really good idea. I'll have to remember to do that...
Yes well I thought with the essay, if I get a quote word for word I should be able to look the text up...

Ok great thanks soo so much...

[prickles]

Aw yep dur me ....
Ok, I'll do that. Nope we have to listen to the text once without writing any notes, then listen again and we can write notes, then we have to answer the questions after that...
Ok, thats a really good idea. I'll have to remember to do that...
Yes well I thought with the essay, if I get a quote word for word I should be able to look the text up...

Ok great thanks soo so much...

Yep ok sure. The first time, just listen out for the main ideas in the text; is the discovery positive, negative, thrust upon the character, did they seek it, was it spiritual, physical, intellectual, creative, emotional etc, as you won't be able to remember too many quotes word for word if you can't write at the same time. Another thing to keep in mind, is that you are the only person seeing your actual NOTES (not the essay) so when writing things donw, feel free to replace 'you' with 'u' etc, so you can get as much of the quote written down as possible (just don't do this in your essay obviously )

[gilliesb18]

Ok yup I will do that... Very good ideas.
I should've mentioned this before, but we do know roughly what the discovery is; it is about renewed perceptions...
So should I be studying up on renewed perceptions? I have started to write out a bit on what they are etc. but what do you think I should add to my notes??
Thanks soo so much... I would be lost without your help!!

[prickles]

Ok yup I will do that... Very good ideas.
I should've mentioned this before, but we do know roughly what the discovery is; it is about renewed perceptions...
So should I be studying up on renewed perceptions? I have started to write out a bit on what they are etc. but what do you think I should add to my notes??
Thanks soo so much... I would be lost without your help!!

If you have been given information that the task is about renewed perceptions, then hopefully the text will give you lots of information about that for you to talk about anyway. If you feel the need to study up about them, then by all means do, but just remember that too much will likely leave you stressed, like you haven't got enough time to study it all. Know what I mean? You should focus on the aspects of discovery that jump out at you for your short answer, when is your essay due? Because once you have your essay question, you can then research/study/look at the rubric regarding what aspects of renewed perceptions they want in the essay.
But yeah, don't do too much study, or you will overload your brain the night before the task. You probably already have a lot of the information stored in your brain that you have gathered during classes that will come to life once a question is asked.
No problem 

[gilliesb18]

Yep ok, that makes sense...
Yup I definitely know what you mean!!!
Ok, yep I will do that...
Um our essay is due this friday... I have a draft on just the frost part that I handed in, and I have a good teacher who gave a lot of feedback, but now I have to change it, then after tomorrows task, I can add in the source analysis part.... If that makes sense...
Yeh I definitely know what u mean...
Thanks

[prickles]

Yep ok, that makes sense...
Yup I definitely know what you mean!!!
Ok, yep I will do that...
Um our essay is due this friday... I have a draft on just the frost part that I handed in, and I have a good teacher who gave a lot of feedback, but now I have to change it, then after tomorrows task, I can add in the source analysis part.... If that makes sense...
Yeh I definitely know what u mean...
Thanks

Yep ok awesome, because often the hardest part is starting! So that's good. If you have enough posts, feel free to post it on here for someone to have a look at if you can't get anymore feedback in time - it should get done quickly because the hsc is over and markers aren't so busy!
Just one note, with your prepared essay, make sure you don't just slap the other text and its analysis into it, be sure to integrate and draw comparisons 

[gilliesb18]

Ahhh its over
Thanks heaps for your help!!
Now I just have to add in the parts of the stimulus.. And I will have to remember what you said about not just slapping it in!!
I probably will put it on the marking section cause it would be great to have it checked out...

[prickles]

Ahhh its over
Thanks heaps for your help!!
Now I just have to add in the parts of the stimulus.. And I will have to remember what you said about not just slapping it in!!
I probably will put it on the marking section cause it would be great to have it checked out...

No problem! Happy to help! Can you find your text online? If you need help analysing/marking, there are lots of people on here to help you 

[gilliesb18]

Yes I can- Its 'Neighbours' by Tim Winton... I found that it was a recommended text for discovery on this site!! Which is good- means that other people have done it before...
Yup I will definitely put it up on the marking part if I get time!

[prickles]

Yes I can- Its 'Neighbours' by Tim Winton... I found that it was a recommended text for discovery on this site!! Which is good- means that other people have done it before...
Yup I will definitely put it up on the marking part if I get time!

Wow I'm amazed they gave you a text so well known!

[gilliesb18]

Yes I know- unfortunately I hadn't looked into prior to the exam!!
I have started to write my thesis properly with this text inserted, would someone mind checking it out??

Edit: Oh hang on- I should put the essay question up here!!

Through the process of discovering, individuals are able to renew their perceptions of the world and others.
Discuss this statement with reference to both the stimulus text and AT LEAST ONE Frost prescribed poem of your own choosing.

The confronting and provocative process of discovery often evolves over time as an individual’s perception of themselves and the world around them is renewed. The extent of the renewal is heavily dependent on the individual’s acceptance of the discovery. The process of discovery and how one’s perceptions change over time is demonstrated in Robert Frost’s poem ‘The Tuft of Flowers’ and Tim Winton’s short story ‘Neighbours’. Frost skilfully uses metaphoric language to demonstrate that we are never alone on our individual journeys, whereas Winton plays with emotional language to convey the young couple’s discovery of the fact that we are all humans, no matter what cultural background we own.

Please just pull it apart- and maybe I need a better technique for Tim Wintons story- if anyone has any ideas please LMK!!!

Thanks heaps....

[tina1395]

hi, i need some feedback on my thesis, it's for a speech and the scope is "Ramifications of discovery may differ for individuals and their worlds". i'm saying that they will differ. I have 2 but im not sure which is better.

1)The ramifications of discoveries will differ for each individual, as the significance of discoveries is very dependent on one’s values, which can influence the degree of meaningful changes in one’s perception of themselves and their worlds.
2) The process of discoveries can reinforce one's values, and because each individual has different values, the ramifications will differ.

thanks

[prickles]

Yes I know- unfortunately I hadn't looked into prior to the exam!!
I have started to write my thesis properly with this text inserted, would someone mind checking it out??

Edit: Oh hang on- I should put the essay question up here!!

Through the process of discovering, individuals are able to renew their perceptions of the world and others.
Discuss this statement with reference to both the stimulus text and AT LEAST ONE Frost prescribed poem of your own choosing.

The confronting and provocative process of discovery often evolves over time as an individual’s perception of themselves and the world around them is renewed. The extent of the renewal is heavily dependent on the individual’s acceptance of the discovery. The process of discovery and how one’s perceptions change over time is demonstrated in Robert Frost’s poem ‘The Tuft of Flowers’ and Tim Winton’s short story ‘Neighbours’. Frost skilfully uses metaphoric language to demonstrate that we are never alone on our individual journeys, whereas Winton plays with emotional language to convey the young couple’s discovery of the fact that we are all humans, no matter what cultural background we own.

Please just pull it apart- and maybe I need a better technique for Tim Wintons story- if anyone has any ideas please LMK!!!

Thanks heaps....

Is this a thesis or an intro?
Personally, I don't love putting techniques in an intro, I would prefer you to give a very strong overview of what you are going to talk about throughout the rest of your essay. Use the rubric to pull points out, and really 'show off'. Sure you can introduce your texts, and you have incorporated that well, but  in your intro/thesis, you really need to amalgamate your main ideas from your paragraphs in one punchy sentence, that instantly tells the reader/marker you know what you're talking about, and can integrate sophisticated language