Question: Examine the contribution of Hassidism to the development and expression of Judaism
Hasidim is an orthodox religious movement within Judaism, that was developed in the eighteenth century in Eastern Europe.
Because the question is asking you to examine rather than evaluate, you don't need to make a huge judgement here. It's my personal opinion that your first sentence could benefit from an opinion from you, even slightly, just so that you start developing an argument early on and you're not doing describing, but rather examining. Currently, your first sentence describes, and so does your second. Something like "...is a significant orthodox religious..." makes that difference to pull it out of pure description. This isn't necessary to fulfill the question at this stage, it's just about setting the tone for your essay. The contributions proffered by this school of thought includes the emphasis onto the tzaddik system, the importance of joy and sincerity within worship, and the consistent performance of mikvah. These contributions have ultimately provided an incentive towards the development of Judaism, as the Baal Shem Tov, leader of the Hasidim, considered the circumstances the Jews were experiencing including the pogroms that lead to the development and expression of Judaism to be influenced by the rise of the Hasidim.
Wonderful sentence!The shift
present? towards focusing on
to the spiritual dimension has allowed adherents to experience positive impacts including their faith being renewed and revolutionised, however as the circumstances for the Jews improved
over time from historical persecution to the present day,, these contributions has had less significance.
The tzaddik system plays a fundamental role within Hasidim, where the development and expression of Judaism has significantly increased as a result. Intrinsically, the classification of leaders was known as tzaddik, the righteous one, followed by its adherents known as Hasid’s. Baal Shem Tov recognised the impact of the massacres occurring in the 17th and 18th century that led adherents to lack faith as being illiterate hence unable to read the Talmud, the Jews were disdained by other followers that were educated. Thus, the BeshT reversed the allocation of the names of tzaddik and Hasid that raised the ordinary Jews status. The development and expression of Judaism was improved to a large extent, as many Jews became more assertive towards their faith and worship that ensured adherents were practising the religious tradition.
This sentence is exactly what markers are looking for! As “God loves all Jews without distinction; the greatest Torah genius and scholar and the most simple Jew are loved equally by G-d” expressed within the 36 Aphorisms of BeshT number 7, the overall contribution Hasidim offered enabled adherents to confide and maintain their faith through their worship. The tzaddik system along with the reversal of the names was overall, a major contribution towards the development and expression of Judaism.
No qualms here at all!Furthermore, Hasidim also contributed towards the development and expression of Judaism by expressing that one should attain joy from worship and be sincere. The Baal Shem Tov exemplified that the worship one performs should be predominately focused onto the quality of their actions, rather than the quantity, which ultimately highlights the expression of Judaism focusing onto spirituality rather than delving into traditional Talmud studies. The anecdote of Yom Kipper, a poor Jewish boy who was an illiterate shepherd, had been deeply moved by a Jewish service yet unable to read the prayers, he began to whistle as an offer to God as a gift. The congregation was horrified at the discretion of their service as they boy was yelled at and was going to be thrown out. The Baal Shem Tov intervened, expressing that their prayers were “blocked as they tried to reach the heavenly court” yet as the boy’s “whistling was so pure…that it broke through the blockage and brought all of our prayers straight up to God”. This anecdote demonstrates that joy and sincerity are fundamental elements to enable adherents, especially with low socio-economic backgrounds, to sustain their spirituality. “God desires the heart” (Talmud Sanhearih 1066) rather than worshipping through Talmud studies, that illustrates the importance of these humane values, sincerity and joy, that Hasidim introduces within Judaism. Hence, the contribution of reinforcing the vitality of these values of joy and sincerity enables the development and expression of Judaism.
This last sentence here brings it all together, but unlike your first body paragraph, you aren't linking the details to the judgement and the question. So what we're seeing is some great description, I have no doubt that you understand what you're writing here (or if you don't know yourself, you're doing a very good job at bluffing ), because what you're writing is coherent. It's just about your essay structure now, I wouldn't go any more than two sentences before you need to drop a line that links it back to the question, otherwise we fall into description and move away from examine. Because we're examining, we're testing, scrutinising, and investigating in order to make that evaluative statement that relates to the question: what has been the contribution to the development and expression of Judaism?In addition, Hasidim places an enormous emphasis onto practising Mitzvah on a daily basis which has influenced the development and expression of Judaism. As a ritual pool is used where individuals are washed “thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin” (Psalm 51:2),
Great embedding quote. Hasidim places an enormous focus onto this practise by recommending adherents to complete mitzvah on a daily routine. As individuals felt a lack of faith because of their illiteracy in the 18th century, thus unable to read the Talmud, Mitzvah ultimately enabled individuals to purify themselves thus attain higher levels of spiritual development. As Hasidim’s prime focus on mitzvah enables spiritual growth, the less frequent prayers ensures that rather than completing a set of prayers, adherents are able to focus onto the two elements, devekus and hislahavus, that enable individuals to attain an improved spirituality. Overall, the consistency required of mitzvah and the non frequent prayers elaborate onto the importance of attaining a higher spiritual level with God by focusing onto the quality of the worship.
A similar issue persists in this paragraph. Here, we've set up the entire paragraph for the moment where you'll say "Thus..." or "Therefore...Judaism has been developed..." So when we talk about the Mitzvah being a solution for the problems caused by illiteracy, we should be making evaluative statements about the value for this in gaining, and strengthening, adherents in the 18th century...then link it to how this has shaped present day Judaism to prove the significance of the idea.Ultimately, Hasidim has played a significant role towards the development and expression of Judaism.
The contributions it has provided has led towards the development and expression of Judaism, << This bit here says nothing different to the sentence prior. that rather than focusing onto traditional study of the Talmud, it emphasises onto individuals are able to attain higher spiritual level through the joy and sincerity towards their worship.
Thus, this has made the religion more accessible, leading to its development, but it has also altered the expression of the faith. Hence, the contributions such as the emphasis onto the tzaddik system along with the reversal of names, importance of joy and sincerity, and increased performance of mitzvah, has ultimately led to Judaism to develop.