English Advanced 2019

[YasmineK]

If anyone is willing to offer help i would be so grateful. my english teachers are being so selfish. STRESSED
My english practice is mainly just writing an introduction and one paragraph just to make sure that i am answering the question. So if anyone is willing please i would be so appreciative.

- YK

[elewisdando]

Hey, I'll try my best, but no guarantees that this is the best advice lol, good luck

I only studied Merchant of Venice at my school so I can only give u feedback on this one.

I think that your introduction is lacking clarity a bit. The first sentence is a bit unnecessary, my teachers told us that we should have the first sentence include the novel and the themes/paragraphs you're going to discuss. So like for this one, I would say something like, "William Shakespeare's play, The Merchant of Venice gives insight into the paradoxical behaviours of (1st concept), (2nd concept) and the paradoxical motivations of (3rd concept)." I think if you had something like that as your thesis statement it would make your argument more coherent.

In the second paragraph I think you have the same problem with the first two sentences sentence where it's a bit unnecessary. Then I would be more specific in your topic sentence, so instead of just saying a rich insight, you say exactly what the insight is and what is paradoxical about his behaviour (acting simultaneously as victim and villain).

For the analysis, I would probably recommend making it more succinct again. I'd say for the "cut-throat dog" quote to just stick to one analysis (like bestial imagery, or diction) to prove the point that he behaves/has motivations of a victim. Also, in essays you have to write quotation not quote (I found out the hard way lol). With the "villainy you teach me" part you need to link the technique to the effect and then why you're discussing it. So if you bring up iambic pentameter then you have to prove why that contributes to Shylock's villainous intentions.

Also, it's good that you're using the language of the syllabus but I think doing it too much might give off the wrong impression that you're just throwing words in because they're in the syllabus.

Overall, I know I wrote a lot of criticism but I think it's really good in general there are just these small things to improve on.