Spoiler
Venturing into new experiences can be a strenuous process as individuals may encounter challenges and barriers, however with perseverance one can reap many significant rewards which are effectively beneficial. Solid Thesis which restates the question, therefore yes, you are definitely answering it!
When exploring new experiences an individual may face many obstacles, but in overcoming them, one can illuminate their unknown talents and facilitate their personal transfigurations. In ‘Billy Elliot’ directed by Stephen Daldry, the protagonist Billy, explores a new world of dance through an instant interest in ballet, which allows him to gain a deepened understanding of himself, as he transitions from childhood to young adulthood. It is through this transition that he is faced with many obstacles, in which his actions on how to overcome these, impacts his future and new directions. The opposition to Billy is mainly from his father, Jackie and the mining community. As Jackie’s view is fixed on the stereotypical gender roles that only “girls should do ballet and boys do boxing”, this acts as a barrier that Billy must overcome, in order to successfully transition and reach his full potential. Living in Durham during the 1980s, also acts as a barrier since it was an insular and stagnant community which embraced egalitarianism, therefore it was expected that Billy was to follow this tradition and become a miner. Due to these reasons, it obstructed Billy from the opportunity to grow and transform as an individual and to achieve his ambitions of becoming a professional ballet dancer.This is a recount of the story - Make sure the focus is on techniques, analysis, and audience impact! We don't want to know about the story, we want to know HOW the text shows the ideas you mentioned in your Thesis
It is only through Billy’s perseverance and boundless enthusiasm, that he challenges society’s expectations and pursues his passion for ballet. This is depicted in the final scene where he prepares to perform on stage. T he use of an e xtreme close up shot of Billy’s face, emphasises his anxious feelings which is also expressed through his heavy breathing and shaking legs, as he is finally able to perform for his father with his loving support and therefore, he must dance to the best of his ability. Watch grammar, flow on sentence there. As Billy enters the stage for his final leap,n ondiegetic music, slow motion and low key lighting is used. The s lowing tempo and harsh sounding of the orchestra in the classical piece, ‘Swan Lake’, creates suspense, and the s low motion, low angle shot of Billy leaping skilfully into a new world of possibility, highlights Billy’s sense of liberation. The l ow key lighting c entred on Billy accommodates this, and his w hite
c o s t u m e s y m b o l i s e s h i s n e w b e g i n n i n g a s a d a n c e r , w h i c h e x e m p l i f i e s h i s i n s p i r i n g transition in his final moment of triumph. Here we have a lot of explanation, much better now! To improve even further, add audience impact, how do we as an audience respond to this presentation? PS - Sorry for weird formatting. Hence, it is apparent that through overcoming his adversities, he was able to reap many rewards. Not only the literal rewards of being accepted into the prestigious Royal Ballet School and perform as the principal dancer in Swan Lake, but also his emotional accomplishments, since this new experience stimulated him to undergo a process of personal growth and transformation as he emerged into a defiant individual, despite being amidst in family hardships and a distraught society caused by the miner’s strike.A solid paragraph towards the end, just watch out for retell. Never discuss the story without a technique, a quote/textual reference, an explanation of what the technique achieves, and an analysis of how we respond as an audience.
Similarly, the two part poem ‘Father and child’ by Gwen Harwood also explores an individual who proceeds into a new experience. Through this, the child is faced with barriers that obstruct itthem from disclosing the reality of life but the child’s curiosity influences it to persevere, and hence the child learns significant life lessons and gains knowledge and wisdom. Don't call the child an 'it', say 'they' or 'them' instead. In stanza one, it is evident that the child will proceed into a new experience through the a llusion to nature in, “I rose blessed by the sun. A horny fiend,” which foreshadows that the child will grow and mature from a meaningful experience. However, the child’s father is a notable barrier that hinders it from transitioning into adulthood. This is depicted in the phrase, “old NoSayer”, which conveys how controlling and overprotective he is. The use of c olloquial language highlights the lack of respect that the child has for its father due to its immaturity, but the father just wants to shield the child from the dangers of reality and keep its childhood pure. Despite this, whilst the father is asleep he loses this power and control. As a result, the child gains this power from holding a gun, which is apparent in the m etaphor, “master of life and death.” Knowing this, the child rebels against its father and becomes vulnerable as it shoots an owl. Consequently, the child’s understanding of death is corrupted as its initial belief that death is quick and painless is completely shattered, and hence the child’s innocence is lost. This is further conveyed through the use of d issonance of the word, ‘struck’, in, “my first shot struck", which eradicates the r hythm of the poem, thus exemplifying the harsh and abrupt gunshot that destroys the bird's life as well as the child's youth and innocence.MUCH better on technique and explanation here, and we are even implicitly covering audience in places as well. AWESOME! Again, just watch for retell, all of this analysis should be done just using the text as an example. Don't let the text carry you.
It is the child’s desire for an identity and a need to relieve one’s curiosity that drives the child to persevere in order to transcend the father’s control. As a result, the child is exposed to the shocking nature of death, which evokes its transition from childhood to adulthood. This is apparent in the second part of the poem, ‘Nightfall’. The j uxtaposition of “old nosayer” in the first poem with “Old king” in the second, accentuates the child’s changed attitude towards its father in which it has gained respect and great gratitude, after acquiring knowledge and wisdom through maturity. As well as this, the r hetorical question, “who can be what you were?” further conveys that the child believes that its father is irreplaceable as it learns to appreciate and admire the father’s sacrifices. Hence it is apparent that it is through the child’s determination that it rebels against its father, which enabled the child to learn the reality of life and death. As the child acquired knowledge and wisdom through maturity, it constructed meaning from this experience and thus the child comes to understand the inevitability of death and accepts it as a peaceful process of life. Again, solid techniques and explanations. Nice!
Furthermore, Billy’s best friend Michael, also explores a new world and encounters similar obstacles, in particular the mining community. Through transcending the stereotypical views of the community, it stimulates the development of his self
expression as he discovers his sexuality in transitioning into young adulthood. Initially, Michael is afraid to reveal his true self, due to living in a narrowminded community with distinct gender roles. Living this community occluded Michael from exploring his sexuality since he is forced to hide it, which hindered his ability to understand where he belongs in society. This is apparent in the scene where Michael crossdresses in the safety of his own home. As he opens the door for Billy, there is no c amera movement, exemplifying the strict and stagnant community which is reluctant to change and individualism. Hence, this restricts Michael from expressing himself as he fears the strong reactions from the aggressive maledominated community. This is further conveyed through a m edium shot of Billy who cautiously looks around to ensure that no one has seen them, since he knows that society would not approve. Through the a bsence of light in the room, it emphasises both Michael and Billy’s transition behind closed doors, hidden and
a w a y f r o m s o c i e t y . T h e c a m e r a a l s o z o o m s o u t f r o m M i c h a e l t o c a p t u r e t h e d r e s s that he is wearing. It is clearly apparent that the dress fits him perfectly which reveals his awakening sexuality and accentuates the fact that he truly belongs in this dress and that he should accept and embrace his new identity. The lack of techniques here, although you want to explain concepts, it just becomes a recount. Techniques are a MUST to ensure that, no, you aren't talking about themes in a book, you are talking about HOW the themes are represented in a book.
It is through Michael’s determination to freely express himself, that he gains confidence to rise and defy against society. This is evident in the final scene when he attends Billy’s ballet performance. The use of a m edium shot highlights Michael’s contentment and l ight blue eyes, which symbolise that he is finally at peace with himself as he is able to freely dress, completely ignorant of the opinions and judgements of others. This shot also emphasises his interaction with another man, conveying that he has discovered his sexuality and is no longer afraid to hide it. Hence it is apparent, that Michael’s determination and courage through proceeding into a new experience allowed him to cross stereotypical boundaries and overcome the expectations of the mining community. Consequently, he gained significant rewards such as being true to himself and having the confidence to freely express himself as he has finally disclosed his place in society.
A really cool essay here! There is that one paragraph in the middle loaded with techniques and explanations that is absolutely killer, nicely done
To improve, ensure that you talk about techniques. You are slipping quite heavily into textual recount. There is a big difference between talking about THEMES in a TEXT, and talking about HOW themes are REPRESENTED in a text, with techniques. The focus should always be on the composer's choices and how they create meaning.
This links to the question too. When you see "how is this evident", it doesn't mean, how do the themes pop up in the text? It means, how has the composer made it evident, through their choices of technique. A subtle difference, but the difference between a Band 4/5 and a Band 5/6.
In terms of making sure you answer the question, I think the best way is a strong thesis. You have this already. A good way to check is that the thesis should automatically remind you of the question. If it does, you are set, you just need to back up the idea. If you have a Thesis which responds to the question, then all your ideas are linked to the Thesis, then it is very likely you are answering the question.
Oh, and use the rights texts, use the right number of ORT's, all that stuff is important too
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Topic: English Standard Essay Marking (Read 139118 times)