Have you been seeking help from professionals re: mental health?
Honestly, no. Is that bad?
I don't know how to express my thoughts other than typing it out and posting it on here, so here we go. Also, I'm sorry if I seem like a big complainer.
I'm frustrated. After Year 12, I only received one offer. And it wasn't even my first preference. And I didn't even research this preference at all. But again, it was the only offer I received, so I had to accept it or I wouldn't be in uni at all. It felt like a 'sympathy' offer. What I mean is if VU didn't exist, I wouldn't be in uni. I don't deserve to be in uni.
I feel a sort-of Impostor syndrome. The uni offer I received doesn't reflect the effort I put in through VCE (lots of tears, and not much to show for it on ATAR release day). I ended up stumbling into a degree that I shouldn't have.
How can I be proud of getting into uni when the course doesn't even require an ATAR? That implies that I can cruise through Year 12 and still get into uni. That was far from the truth for me.
About the uni itself, I'm not optimistic. There's a shocking lack of clubs. A shocking lack of clubs that I am interested in. I'm only an outsider looking in, but Melbourne and Monash seem to have an abundance of clubs, and more importantly, these unis have a few clubs that I would be interested in joining.
The uni campus feels lifeless. Yes, there
were some students walking around (back when we could actually step onto campus), but I couldn't really feel that student vibe. It just felt like a workplace.
I hope that made sense.