I really, truly appreciate the unconditional kindness on display here. I wanted to reply to these the night I saw them, but better late than never.
/snip/
Hey Rick,
Thank you.
I do have my doubts that I'll ever appreciate fighting with myself and the medical system, but perhaps one day I'll be stronger for the struggles.
Standing with a person who is struggling, lifting them up, letting them know that they have people who care about them, is never rubbish or useless. It can be extremely difficult to remember there are those out there to lean on, especially when your mind tells you there's nothing - no-one. To live that, as you said, and still wake up day after day, can take immense strength in itself.
Be proud of yourself for the power of will you held through those times; and be proud of the understanding and strength it has given you.
/snip/
I've had the noticeable symptoms since December last year (I was in bed for two months) but I can probably trace it back to at earliest the start of year 11/end of year 10. Which would explain a lot haha. I'll have to make another appointment soon but my anxiety is ~ w i l d ~ today so not right now
And yeah, re: treatment options, I don't think antidepressants helped bc I got a lot worse on them physical health-wise. Wonder why. Anyway we'll check those off the experimental treatment list.
Love you likewise <3 You mean a lot to me and I hope you know that.
Thank you, I did enjoy my pancakes. I used brown sugar instead of white and it turned out fantastic; never going back. Because you know what? Pancakes are something. They're living. Haha.
/snip/
OK so maybe hanging out on AN... and having best friends who are STEM geniuses... and dating a bio nerd... means I have more than a meagre knowledge hehe
Thanks for sitting with me, again. Love you <3
oh damn some sneaky shade here if I'm interpreting correctly, I like that
I'm feeling a little better now. A little. Still working on it, don't you worry.
It's Saturday. We're slowly getting through the weeks, I'm just looking forward to the end of year break. It's a little bit jolting going straight from school breaks (4 term breaks of two weeks with an extra month between years) to working (no breaks except for public holidays and accrued leave/unpaid leave). Or maybe it would be a bigger jolt from uni? Not sure.
The world is about to begin to speed up very soon, so I thought I'd make an update before it all starts.
I've had the goal to move out of home in January for a while. At the same time, I've been concerned about my health throughout that process and the sustainability of such a venture. Luckily, I have a stable job and have been saving more than I planned for in budgeting so far; I'm actually more than 1.5K ahead of my goal (watch that go back down to predicted when Christmas comes crashing in!) and I'll be inspecting a potential property on Tuesday.
Wild.
Going hiking for the first time in a long time tomorrow, too - I've been feeling OK this past week health-wise and basically all of today was just resting, so hopefully I'll have the strength to take a longer trail. I'm so excited and it's probably the only thing I've genuinely looked forward to (like REALLY) in what feels like forever. I wish I had more time to go out and do things like walk for ages in the quiet forest.
The world is so vast; I don't know what to do with it. Some parts I hate, and some parts I love. I haven't told anyone this but honestly, a large part of me wants to move somewhere isolated and look after disadvantaged and orphaned people. I think my maternal side is coming out and I hate it. Stop producing oxytocin every single time you see a baby, body. Thanks.
I worked with autistic children (from the ages of 15-16) for the first time a few days ago and helped them through a test designed to gauge their abilities to complete a Cert. II. They were so good and I absolutely loved it by the end; sitting for more than an hour with one student went by like it was 15 minutes. I have been told that I'm good with kids before, I guess it might come naturally from being in a family of 5 children? I don't think I could do it every day but I think that working with people with intellectual disabilities is something I could do very well, and find rewarding. I might just see if I can volunteer some time to a school or become a support worker for the company I'm already at. Maybe even complete a qualification, when I'm more set on a decision. I don't know. My mind is flashing back and forth between a lot of things because I've been finding a lack of passion for any set profession, and that makes me feel lost and afraid of what the future holds for my career.
Anyway that's all. Love you all. Please put brown sugar in your pancake mixtures.