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April 30, 2024, 02:07:09 am

Author Topic: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)  (Read 603648 times)

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beau77bro

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1035 on: May 31, 2017, 08:15:07 pm »
Hey all! The HSC and Careers Expo starts tomorrow - Which means all of your markers will be busy over the weekend. Some limited marking COULD get done, but don't expect anything until Monday - Sorry for the inconvenience!

oml my assessment is on monday and ive got 5 essays to plan or attempt to prepare for

jamonwindeyer

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1036 on: May 31, 2017, 08:17:24 pm »
oml my assessment is on monday and ive got 5 essays to plan or attempt to prepare for

We'll do our best to be on here as much as we can :)

beau77bro

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1037 on: May 31, 2017, 09:27:33 pm »
We'll do our best to be on here as much as we can :)
i love u guys omg

Wales

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1038 on: June 02, 2017, 05:50:36 pm »
Hey all! The HSC and Careers Expo starts tomorrow - Which means all of your markers will be busy over the weekend. Some limited marking COULD get done, but don't expect anything until Monday - Sorry for the inconvenience!


How come? I'm assuming some of you admins will be presenting the seminars there or something?

Appreciate the work you all put in :)
Heavy Things :(

jamonwindeyer

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1039 on: June 02, 2017, 07:39:59 pm »
How come? I'm assuming some of you admins will be presenting the seminars there or something?

Appreciate the work you all put in :)

Yep! Jake and I have been there manning our stall all day with some of the other moderators (sudodds was there today, naysirmai and bowiemily will be there over the weekend) - Jake will be presenting a seminar tomorrow!! You should definitely go if you are free ;D

Wales

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1040 on: June 02, 2017, 09:29:38 pm »
Yep! Jake and I have been there manning our stall all day with some of the other moderators (sudodds was there today, naysirmai and bowiemily will be there over the weekend) - Jake will be presenting a seminar tomorrow!! You should definitely go if you are free ;D

I was going to go this week but school starts from 9 and ends at 3 ahah. I've got Saturday and Sunday all packed. I read that you guys will be at the Western Sydney Expo later this month, I should be able to go to that :)
Heavy Things :(

jamonwindeyer

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1041 on: June 02, 2017, 09:34:05 pm »
I was going to go this week but school starts from 9 and ends at 3 ahah. I've got Saturday and Sunday all packed. I read that you guys will be at the Western Sydney Expo later this month, I should be able to go to that :)

Yep - I'll be there every day for that one, if you can come on Sunday come then, I'll be presenting ;D

Wales

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1042 on: June 02, 2017, 09:37:03 pm »
Yep - I'll be there every day for that one, if you can come on Sunday come then, I'll be presenting ;D

Noted :) I'll try make time for it.

Sorry for *slightly* turning this off topic. Back to English!
Heavy Things :(

ProfLayton2000

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1043 on: June 03, 2017, 12:18:07 pm »
Hello, this is my Mod B response to the question "Hamlet is too much the student of justice to be an effective instrument of justice. Is this the impression you gain from the play? Examine the above statement by making close reference to Shakespeare’s Hamlet."

In critically studying William Shakespeare’s Hamlet (1603), it is not only Hamlet’s position as a student of justice which prevents him from being an effective instrument of it, the play constructs much deeper and more complex reasons behind Hamlet’s inaction. Hamlet’s deep connection with the Renaissance humanist psyche gives him opportunities to contemplate actions before acting. The frustration developed in an endless dichotomy of verisimilitude and reality further prevents from serving justice. It is only once these reasons are dispelled Hamlet chooses take revenge and enact justice. Regardless of temporal context, Shakespeare preserves the textual integrity of Hamlet through his representation of these themes in Hamlet.
Hamlet’s inaction of justice is explained by his Renaissance Humanist psyche, leading him to engage in thought against acting upon instinct, leading to a justified delay of justice. Shakespeare’s choice in characterisation of Hamlet parallels the changing ideology in the transitional period from an Elizabeth to Jacobean era, as well as the overhaul in societal beliefs. Hamlet’s engagement with his humanist values is seen in his evaluation of man through rhetorical questions, “What a piece of work is man, how noble in reason, how infinite in capabilities”, a reflection upon himself but also the value of human life”. His engagement with the Renaissance ways of thinking are presented by his choice of expressing emotions; in long soliloquys such as the well-known “To be or not to be” or “Alas poor Yorick” speeches. These values lead him to choose contemplation over action, the most notable example of this intrinsic behaviour is at Claudius’ most vulnerable moment, questioning if “Now might I do it pat, now he is a-praying…when he is fit and seasoned for his passage?...No.” His self-reflection at a critical turning point in the play highlights Hamlet’s strong Renaissance methods of acting, considering the consequences of an action before acting. His scholarly nature is not only shown in his background as a university student, but also in his straining efforts to gain proof of the murder. The “The Mousetrap” play, as noted by Dir. David Berthold, “(the metatheatricality) is at the defining feature of the play”. Shakespeare’s decision to include this into Hamlet, as observed when comparing the play to the source material “Amleth”, was one with purpose, with the intention of showing Hamlet’s will to consolidate his theory with proof before taking drastic action and reinforces his Renaissance values. It is these values which a largely to reason for Hamlet’s delay of enforcing justice throughout the play.
Hamlet’s obsession in discerning appearances and reality creates an internal angst, further preventing the course of justice. The persistence of facades in the play reflect the normality of espionage in the Elizabethan court; spies ruthless in observing society for possible assassination plans on the Queen by the supporters of Queen Mary of Scots. His frustration with facades is known to the audience before the Ghost’s revelation, critiquing Gertrude for her use of the word “seems”; “Seems madam? Nay it is, I know not seems.” His fixation on the word reflects his hatred for facades, further indicated by his dark costuming and therefore lack of an appearance. This however is in no comparison to his strong catharsis upon learning of the murder, labelling Claudius a “villain, villain, smiling damned villain…that one may smile, and smile, and be a villain”. His anger at false-appearances stems from an inability to even understand how they can come about, in a later soliloquy questioning how “Is it not monstrous that this player here but in a fiction…could force his soul to his own conceit”, conclusively showing not only Hamlet’s anger at the existence of false-seeming appearances, but proving his inability to comprehend their existence; it is this which leads to his frustration in discerning appearance against reality. Hamlet cannot even begin to accept untruths in trivial matters, correcting Osric’s statement that “it is very hot”, replying “No believe me, ‘tis very cold”. This endless pursuit in attempting to distinguish the seeming-true from the truth, let alone the inability to comprehend the concept, creates a vexation within Hamlet and further delays any course of justice, and as Prof. Ronan McDonald explains, he is “trying out that unreliability of seems”.
It is only once Hamlet quells his morale and frustration with false realities that he is able to take revenge and enact justice, albeit a delayed reaction. This is in contrast to Laertes, who acts rashly upon emotions to seek vengeance. Shakespeare’s examination of revenge is reminiscent of the Medieval Code of Revenge, as the dilution of such beliefs in the Renaissance period favoured thinking as opposed to the rash actions associated with revenge. This notion is presented through the juxtaposition in the vengeances of Laertes and Hamlet. Laertes, upon learning of his father’s death, releases a violent catharsis at Claudius, telling “To hell allegiance…Let come what comes, only I’ll be revenged most thoroughly for my father”. This is stark contrast to Hamlet’s actions upon learning of the murder, choosing to contemplate actions before acting as he does throughout the play. For Hamlet it is only once Laertes, at the climax of the play in both their final moments, tells him that “Thy mother’s poisoned…the king, the king’s to blame”, Hamlet is able to dispel his Renaissance humanist values and his frustration with verisimilitudes that he able to enact justice, fatally wounding Claudius twice.
In conclusion, Shakespeare does not reason Hamlet’s ineffectiveness of justice due to a strong bond to justice, but proposes that Hamlet’s delayed action arises from a deep belief in Renaissance and Humanist values, as well as a frustration in being unable to discern appearance from reality. Ergo, it is only once Hamlet can quench these values he is able to enact revenge and thus bring justice upon Denmark. This line of reasoning remains understandable and relevant even now due to Shakespeare’s ability present these themes in relation to a human experience, strengthening the textual integrity of Hamlet.

beau77bro

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1044 on: June 03, 2017, 05:02:18 pm »
please help me omg, this is my like final hope essay i need to make sure it's good because im making it the basis for my other questions (partially). i have spent the most effort and time and i need to make sure the essay flows and actually answers the question (im guessing/am 70% that this is the question as well so i desperately need this done by monday)

jamonwindeyer

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1045 on: June 03, 2017, 05:32:03 pm »
please help me omg, this is my like final hope essay i need to make sure it's good because im making it the basis for my other questions (partially). i have spent the most effort and time and i need to make sure the essay flows and actually answers the question (im guessing/am 70% that this is the question as well so i desperately need this done by monday)

Hey beau! So your Essay A Scaffold was first on the marking list, but there's no way that this one will get done by Monday if I do that one. So, I'm going to ignore the Essay A scaffold and just do this one in its place, and hopefully that's a little more helpful to you! I'm happy to provide feedback on that earlier scaffold at a later date ;D

With the scaffold, I just ended up doing the comments in the Word document (which is attached). A good response with great concepts, but too character/plot focused, you need way more techniques and less retelling the plot!! Have a read of my comments and let me know if you had any questions ;D

beau77bro

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1046 on: June 03, 2017, 09:12:38 pm »
JAMON THANKYOU AND YES OMG ESSAY C U R THE BEST

ive gone through and majorly refined (or at least tried to) alot of the points you made, of course its not that great and i only picked up on some of the points you made later on. but is this better - i still need to add a conclusion and linking sentences? and is this an accurate guide on how to fix/generally write a critical essay:

- dont retell (the markers already know) - analyse techniques and explain the meaning behind this techniques, evaluating and expanding upon WHY the composer used this to convey ideas

- use techniques a lot because that's how the composer develops ideas and characters which in turn contributes to the textual integrity and the human aspects that are important to the enduring value of the texts

- say what the composer shows through the characters not in them

- be explicit in what your saying ideas wise, but focus on broader ideas and themes

- relate back to humans, that always why we care about texts, coz it reflects aspects about humanity and the human experience

- say what the composer is tryna make people, society and the audience feel

 btw first time using all the reply stuff so yea sorry if i went overboard

Anything I missed?

Mod Edit: Posts merged, try not to more than once in a row, use the Modify function :)
« Last Edit: June 04, 2017, 07:19:29 pm by jamonwindeyer »

chloeannbarwick

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1047 on: June 04, 2017, 02:18:02 pm »
Here is an essay I've written for module C on the Poetry of John Donne and W;t by Margaret Edson. My practice question is:
To what extent have the two texts you have studied in this module enhanced your understanding of what it means to be human?
However, it could be completely different as we do not know the exact question. I've missed six lessons due to an art and religion excursion. I have minimal notes and have basically turned to the internet and my own interpretations of Donne's poetry to write it eeek! Only just got back yesterday and the exam is tomorrow so I've done the best I can. Just hoping for some quick feedback to see if I can make it any better!
Get it done now, and you'll have less to do later

jamonwindeyer

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1048 on: June 04, 2017, 10:20:26 pm »
Awesome thank you so much! You're feedback was super helpful thank you!!!!!!!
I did rewrite my intro and I was wondering if it was okay to ask you to have another look at it? I kind of simplified my thesis, and I thought the next sentence kind of brings out the specifics in what I was trying to explain, but now I'm worried I have steered away from the question

Hey!! Not sure if this is still helpful, but I had a read of both your Thesis paragraphs! A few comments:

- I still think what you are trying to communicate in the opening sentence is a little unclear, but, I think your amplification is definitely stronger in the second version.
- The sentence where you talk about "the house metaphorically" is getting into the techniques used by Winton to communicate the idea - This is best saved for the body paragraphs.
- I think reconciliation needs to appear way earlier than right near the end there, to indicate a direct answer to the question. You bring it in when discussing the characters early on, but I think a broader statement on reconciliation would be beneficial.

Overall, I think the Thesis is still just a little bit vague - Definitely an improvement in your second version though!! ;D

jamonwindeyer

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Re: English Advanced Essay Marking (Modules Only)
« Reply #1049 on: June 04, 2017, 10:33:19 pm »
Here is an essay I've written for module C on the Poetry of John Donne and W;t by Margaret Edson. My practice question is:
To what extent have the two texts you have studied in this module enhanced your understanding of what it means to be human?
However, it could be completely different as we do not know the exact question. I've missed six lessons due to an art and religion excursion. I have minimal notes and have basically turned to the internet and my own interpretations of Donne's poetry to write it eeek! Only just got back yesterday and the exam is tomorrow so I've done the best I can. Just hoping for some quick feedback to see if I can make it any better!

Hey Chloe! I know it's late, and you haven't quite met feedback requirements for this essay (you need 60 posts), but some super quick feedback because I know your task is tomorrow:

- Avoid use of personal pronouns (EG - don't say "my understanding")
- Ensure all of the quotes you provide have a technique linked to them - A textual reference without a quote is nowhere near as powerful/effective as it could be!
- Avoid retelling the plot and describing character emotions - Focus on analysis. You shouldn't be using character names excessively, that's a giveaway the approach isn't quite right.
- Love your concepts, I think those will do well and answer the question nicely

Sorry we couldn't give you more, just unlucky you caught us on a busy weekend - Good luck! :)