Hey,
I can definitely see the improvement from your last draft
When you are considering whether a topic is contentious audience is very key. Imo this topic isn't particularly contentious in Australia as there isn't much awareness or discussion of it but it would likely be far more contentious in the US. Narrowing your audience to well-informed people (as you have indicated) increases the chance that they will have a strong view on this topic. However, that's still a very broad audience so it's difficult to meaningfully say much about it.
A few grammar points to be careful of:
- your (belonging to you) vs you're (you are)
- when you use "worth" don't place "of" immediately after it. (e.g. "Their economy is worth $x" rather than "Their economy is worth of $x.")
- "sceptic" is a noun, "sceptical" is an adjective. (e.g. "I am a sceptic" and "I am a sceptical person" are both correct but "I am a sceptic person" doesn't work.)
Other notes:
- the grammatical structure of this sentence: "Pyrrhic as in victory inflicting such a devastating toll, however, taking huge sense of achievement upon." doesn't make much sense. A pyrrhic victory occurs when victory/success is achieved however the cost is so high that it's hard to consider it a victory at all.
- "a sacrifice" implies that there will be only one loss. "The sacrifice" would probably work better in your introduction.
"One of this year’s most recent attacks was the planning of dropping levies onto Chinese imports". It would make more sense if it was "...the plan to drop levies..."
I haven't caught everything in this read through but I hope you find this useful